And so with all those struggles here I am. I just read to a point where I find myself almost able to understand what the character in this book is experiencing.
In the story the main character was slowly drawn to Christ, having received a New Testament in his own language and reading the Scriptures for the first time he was drawn to Christ but still his Roman Catholic background has had and kept a deep hold on him. It's almost as though he straddles the fence between two religions, not realizing that the teachings of Roman Catholicism is in opposition to Scripture.
And so here this man is, holding to a faith that opposes the law and he is very much struggling his way deeper and deeper into this new faith. Now word has come to him that over 200 fellow believers have been arrested and despite all his associations with those arrested he has so far been spared arrest or worse. His family has just put two and two together that maybe he is not what he has seemed to be but to protect the family name they have offered him asylum in their home. (He is a young man living in his uncles home).
And so here he is, afraid for his life, more afraid for his fellow believers, and trying to stay above suspicion. One would think that the very family he has been living with, those that have offered him safety and shelter, those that should love him, would continue to love him as he is, as he has always been. Why would their newly discovered knowledge that he is a believer in Christ change their opinion of him? But change their opinions did. This young man, while given shelter to protect the family name, is now living as though he does not exist to the family. They will not talk to him, will not touch him, go out of their way to avoid encounters with him, and won't even look at him if they can avoid it.
It is his families treatment of him that I can understand and commiserate with. I recall my own experiences after I first began to see the Truth in Scripture, after I went through what I would say was the time of my conversion and new birth.
At first things were different, for me, for my loved ones, but in time as I learned more and went deeper into my faith... There was a time when certain family members showed very near to hate for me. I was not under the 'ban' as it is called in this book but I was not welcomed either. I felt the distance and the lack of welcome from those that had, only a year before, loved me most.
I remember leaving the house for no other reason than because I needed to get away from the feeling of....evil...in the house. I needed an escape from the distant relationships, the rude attitudes, the snide comments. I recall one such occasion that sent me seeking peace. I found myself in an antique store, just roaming the aisles for no reason other than I needed somewhere to spend some time in a welcoming environment. My heart was hurting and I was seeking peace from worldly troubles. It was on that day that I encounter a Bible that predated the Civil War. That Bible made such an impression on me that I wrote about it. And for a very brief time, that Bible, a Bible I was allowed to examine closely, gave me a sort of reprieve from my own troubles.
I recall how my heart hurt, how strained my family relationships were. I also recall the look of that Bible, the feel of it in my hand, but more than that, I recall the reprieve it allowed me while I marveled at being allowed the privilage to just enjoy such an old copy of God's Word.
And now tonight, I sit here, having just read of the heartache of this young man who is living with people that have, for all intents and purposes, completely turned against him, and I can feel his pain, can commiserate with him even though my days of being nearly despised by my family for my beliefs are now long behind me, at least for the time being. Lord willing, they will stay only a memory.
Yet...
Experiences like those are not so far in my past as I would like them to be. I just had an encounter with someone, a non-relative, that has very nearly ostracized me for what I believe. I have been raked over the coals and told, in more ways than I can count, how wrong my beliefs are.
That experience instigated many conversations with my husband, one of which had him telling me something to the effect of 'it always turns out this way'. He went on to talk of how even those that love us most will only put up with our beliefs to a point and then we are essentially offered up for whatever punishment can be handed out. In our country the only punishment to be had is whatever each individual person chooses to do in response to facing our faith. I am SO grateful that is all we face but it hasn't always been that way and in fact, it isn't that way for many believers in the world today.
In the story I am reading, the uncle of the main character told him that he (uncle) could smell the fire on him, referring to the punishment of death by burning. It was supposedly a statement made of all ''heretics''. I never experienced such an evil statement, never faced true persecution, but anyone that is truly born again will face their own fires. They will struggle through things in this world that will leave them 'smelling of fire' because they are somehow tainted in the eyes of the world. That tainting can be ignored or even forgotten but let the unregenerate person, even those that profess a belief in Christ, bump up against their faith and all of a sudden the unregenerate person can 'smell the fire' on them again.
It has always been this way. It will always be this way.
If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.
19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.
21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.
22 If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloak for their sin.
23 He that hateth me hateth my Father also.
24 If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.
25 But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.
26 But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me:
27 And ye also shall bear witness, because ye have been with me from the beginning. John 15:18-27
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