My husband asked me today what I've been meditating on Scripturally and the question kind of took me back for a moment. It's not a new question or an unexpected one. No, what took me aback was the fact that I had no answer.
It's not that I haven't been meditating on things lately, not that I haven't thought of Scripture, not that I haven't read it, lately, it's just that here lately life has had my thoughts going in other directions.
There are times in life where the Lord makes our minds focus more on the earthly and less on the deeper things of Him or Scripture, at least He does that to me sometimes. He kind of tosses things before me that take up much time or much thought and therefore I am left with only bits and pieces of time for Scripture study or for meditating on His ways.
I am in one of those times right now.
Life has become such, at the Lord's hand, that many of my thoughts are turned to family and my meditating on Christ or Scripture takes place in bits and pieces and really doesn't add up to anything worth speaking of.
I realized just a couple of days ago that I haven't really been writing much for this blog lately. I also realized I haven't been doing much Bible study with my husband. I realized it but it failed to sink in until just today how choppy my Scripture studies have been lately.
Just the other day I found myself looking at my Bible, wanting to pick it up and read deeply from it. I wanted to feel my familiar friend in my hands and connect with an even greater Friend. And then life intervened and time did not allow me to do so. Instead I read a bit of Scripture in digital form and did not pick up my Bible.
I wonder, even as I write this, if I should write it. I write for my husband and it's for him that I am writing this, to explain why my answer was all but nonexistant today. Why I couldn't really tell him what I've been meditating on because the things I've meditated on have been fleeting thoughts and not deep ones. Because they come and go in the midst of life instead of sinking into me and overshadowing life. And I hesitate to write this because I know that if others besides my husband reads this than they will read that I have not been as deeply involved with Scripture lately as I should have been.
But...
I am only human. I fail daily and right now it looks like I haven't been giving the attention to Scripture that I should have been. It's understandable. I realize that. I know the other things going on in my life and I realize that I am in the midst of something that the Lord has caused to overrule my thoughts and emotions at the moment. I realize it is normal.
But I have still not dug as deeply, drank as deeply, of my Lord lately as I should have. I realize that too. And in realizing it I wonder if it's something I should write of, to put out there for anyone that happens along to read.
And I know I'm going to post this anyway. I'm going to share it with my husband and I'm going to put it out there so that anyone that does come along and reads it can see that my thoughts aren't always centered as deeply in Scripture as they should be, sometimes Scripture is drank in like a cool drink on a hot day, sometimes it is absorbed through my thoughts, and sometimes it passes fleetingly like a butterfly, fluttering here and gone, here and gone.
Because I am human and because I must traverse this world the Lord has placed me in.
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Sunday, April 21, 2019
Male and Female He Created Them
I was recently shopping for birthday presents for young relatives and due to one of the child's interest in a brand of popular blocks I found myself looking at those. I'm not new to these blocks, I had them when I was a kid and have bought them from time to time over the years. What I am new to is the new way they are packaged, each 'set' geared toward a certain thing and all with a look that is slightly less than what I would expect for blocks once they are put together.
So there I was searching through sets of these overpriced toys and finding myself not entirely happy with the options. I finally settled on one set for the first child's birthday knowing I had two more weeks before I needed to pick something for the second child. I also knew these blocks were optional for the second child as this child is the younger sibling of the other one and not as into these blocks as the older one is. I also wanted this child to have a set of these blocks of their very own though so I was leaning heavily toward getting the second child their own set.
One thing led to another and I found myself looking at reviews for the different sets of blocks and even comparing one kind of block to another, trying to figure out what would be the best kind for a younger child. Somehow in all that I found myself reading an article on the educational value of blocks.
I have no idea how I wound up reading that article. It just sort of happened. The thing is it was a pretty interesting article, talking of how kids that play with blocks have higher math skills and other things. But then...
Came the nearly inevitable boys over girls spin to the article. It seems like that crops up more and more in our society today. This one talked of how 'stem' toys, whatever those are, are usually supplied to boys more than girls while girls are often given baby dolls and fashion dolls. They said this most likely explains why more men than women go into careers in science and math related fields.
That was also the point where I stopped reading the article. Why is it that society as a whole seems to absorb the belief that little girls are repressed through being...little girls...and therefore they are held back from becoming what they could have, or should have, been? The blame for girls or women not favoring science and math based jobs is because they supposedly aren't provided the science and math based toys as kids.
I suppose it seems feasible enough if one disregards the fact that boys and girls are fundamentally different, that they favor different toys even as little babies. Girl babies more often naturally gravitate toward people and doll type toys while boy babies naturally favor cars and shapes. That is a scientifically proven fact. And this favoring of certain things shows up when babies are only a few weeks old. They have monitored babies reactions based on what objects their eyes follow and their facial and body language. Girls just look at faces more and favor dolls whereas boys look at shapes and favor cars and similar things.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 ESV
Male and female he created them... Genesis 5:2 ESV
Boys and girls were created different in the very beginning. Could it be that the difference between males and females explains why fewer women go into the math and science related jobs and not what kind of toys they had as children?
I had blocks when I was a kid. I also had dolls. And fashion dolls. My sisters were given even more blocks when they were kids than I was. And you know what? It wouldn't have mattered how many blocks I had as a kid...I simply did not favor them. I wanted baby dolls from infancy. I cried and cried for them at a year old. Fashion dolls never were something I liked. I played with them only when I had fashion doll loving friends over.
One of my sisters loved those little plastic blocks. She would build with them for hours and hours and hours. Even now, as an adult, she likes them. Guess what else she likes...er, LOVES? Electronics. They just fascinate her.
My other sister, on the other hand, played with blocks probably more than I did but did not love them like our sister did. This one favored dolls and fashion dolls over all other toys. And today? That sister is a stay at home wife and mother.
An interesting side note...my sister that loved fashion dolls grew up to be a teenager that loved clothes and now a woman that loves clothes. I never liked the fashion dolls and have always simply favored comfortable clothing.
But...all the so-called experts want to tell us that females don't go into math and science jobs because their parents don't buy them blocks and other toys that promote math and science. I am sure there are some girls out there that would love those kinds of toys, that do love them. One of my sisters was just such a girl. She would have loved any sciency type toy. Those toys would have sat unplayed with, buried in my closet, had I had them.
That's three little girls, all raised by the same parents, all with the same grandparents and extended family, all given, for the most part, the same kinds of toys. Three little girls that had different preferences for toys, and three little girls that grew up to be women that you can see the results of what we favored as kids in what we became as adults.
How then is it that parents are failing their kids by not buying them the kinds of toys that promote math and science?
So there I was searching through sets of these overpriced toys and finding myself not entirely happy with the options. I finally settled on one set for the first child's birthday knowing I had two more weeks before I needed to pick something for the second child. I also knew these blocks were optional for the second child as this child is the younger sibling of the other one and not as into these blocks as the older one is. I also wanted this child to have a set of these blocks of their very own though so I was leaning heavily toward getting the second child their own set.
One thing led to another and I found myself looking at reviews for the different sets of blocks and even comparing one kind of block to another, trying to figure out what would be the best kind for a younger child. Somehow in all that I found myself reading an article on the educational value of blocks.
I have no idea how I wound up reading that article. It just sort of happened. The thing is it was a pretty interesting article, talking of how kids that play with blocks have higher math skills and other things. But then...
Came the nearly inevitable boys over girls spin to the article. It seems like that crops up more and more in our society today. This one talked of how 'stem' toys, whatever those are, are usually supplied to boys more than girls while girls are often given baby dolls and fashion dolls. They said this most likely explains why more men than women go into careers in science and math related fields.
That was also the point where I stopped reading the article. Why is it that society as a whole seems to absorb the belief that little girls are repressed through being...little girls...and therefore they are held back from becoming what they could have, or should have, been? The blame for girls or women not favoring science and math based jobs is because they supposedly aren't provided the science and math based toys as kids.
I suppose it seems feasible enough if one disregards the fact that boys and girls are fundamentally different, that they favor different toys even as little babies. Girl babies more often naturally gravitate toward people and doll type toys while boy babies naturally favor cars and shapes. That is a scientifically proven fact. And this favoring of certain things shows up when babies are only a few weeks old. They have monitored babies reactions based on what objects their eyes follow and their facial and body language. Girls just look at faces more and favor dolls whereas boys look at shapes and favor cars and similar things.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 ESV
Male and female he created them... Genesis 5:2 ESV
Boys and girls were created different in the very beginning. Could it be that the difference between males and females explains why fewer women go into the math and science related jobs and not what kind of toys they had as children?
I had blocks when I was a kid. I also had dolls. And fashion dolls. My sisters were given even more blocks when they were kids than I was. And you know what? It wouldn't have mattered how many blocks I had as a kid...I simply did not favor them. I wanted baby dolls from infancy. I cried and cried for them at a year old. Fashion dolls never were something I liked. I played with them only when I had fashion doll loving friends over.
One of my sisters loved those little plastic blocks. She would build with them for hours and hours and hours. Even now, as an adult, she likes them. Guess what else she likes...er, LOVES? Electronics. They just fascinate her.
My other sister, on the other hand, played with blocks probably more than I did but did not love them like our sister did. This one favored dolls and fashion dolls over all other toys. And today? That sister is a stay at home wife and mother.
An interesting side note...my sister that loved fashion dolls grew up to be a teenager that loved clothes and now a woman that loves clothes. I never liked the fashion dolls and have always simply favored comfortable clothing.
But...all the so-called experts want to tell us that females don't go into math and science jobs because their parents don't buy them blocks and other toys that promote math and science. I am sure there are some girls out there that would love those kinds of toys, that do love them. One of my sisters was just such a girl. She would have loved any sciency type toy. Those toys would have sat unplayed with, buried in my closet, had I had them.
That's three little girls, all raised by the same parents, all with the same grandparents and extended family, all given, for the most part, the same kinds of toys. Three little girls that had different preferences for toys, and three little girls that grew up to be women that you can see the results of what we favored as kids in what we became as adults.
How then is it that parents are failing their kids by not buying them the kinds of toys that promote math and science?
Science and so -called experts don't hold the answer. Scripture does.
Male and female He created them.
Sunday, April 14, 2019
Casting stones...sin in 'good taste'
My husband was telling me about an encounter he had today with a man that recently went to a concert. I'm not real clear on whether it was supposed to be a country concert or a 'Christian' concert. I didn't recognize the man's name as it's been years and years and years since I listened to whatever the popular music is. I'm more than just out of the loop, I'm so far from it that I wouldn't recognize it if I stumbled into it.
Whatever type of music this concert was, the singer performed at least one song that my husband was told was 'Christian'. The person telling him of this concert proceeded to play this song for my husband, who in turn proceeded to tell me as much of the words to the song as he could remember. I must admit that based solely on my husband's memory I was not impressed with the song. I did, however, pull it up online later and actually listened to the whole thing, complete with lyrics written on the screen.
I must admit that the tune of the music wasn't as bad as I was expecting. It did have a bit of a country flare to it, at least that was something. At least it was to me, someone that used to favor country music very much and can't stand the tune of other types of music. I could at least stomach this tune.
But the words...
Well, that was a different story. The tune was the best part of this song. Before my husband finished sharing what he remembered of the song with me I told him he needed to write about this song. To which he replied that I needed to listen to it so I could write about it. To say I'm the writer of the two of us would be an understatement.
So here I am, with that song freshly in my mind and a copy of the lyrics before me. My husband did a good job of sharing his thoughts with the man that had him listen to the song, now I'm going to do my best to share my thoughts after having listened to it. I find myself unsure of just how to do that, though, without copying down the lyrics here in my blog. Something I am not willing to do. So I'm going to try to find a way to share just enough without telling word for word what the song says. I am however going to go ahead and give the name of the song and the singers name because I can't find a way to speak of this song without all but naming names and giving lyrics. The song is called, 'I cast no stones' by a man named Cody Jinks.
I want to say here that I know NOTHING about this man, nothing about his music. I am not in any way trying to point to anything he has done or has not done. Until today I have never even heard of him. I am only sharing my thoughts on what the words in the song say.
I want to say here that I know NOTHING about this man, nothing about his music. I am not in any way trying to point to anything he has done or has not done. Until today I have never even heard of him. I am only sharing my thoughts on what the words in the song say.
Let me start by saying this song is an excellent...EXCELLENT...example of 'come as you are', love everyone, accept everyone, modern American "Christianity'. I think it could probably be the poster song for every American "Christian'. If it's not at the top of the charts it probably soon will be or it really should be. It's that perfect for 'Christianity' today.
And so the song opens, speaking about not casting stones, a reference, I assume, to John 8:7 where Christ says 'he who is without sin among you let him cast the first stone'. I am going to go ahead and say that this is in defiance of Matthew 7 which says one should FIRST remove the log...or sin...from their own eye before removing it from 'your brother's eye'. I will go further into this in just a minute though.
There's a reference, I assume, to Scripture but that reference isn't real clear if that's the intended meaning or not. It could just as easily be a reference to trying to live a certain way. Either way, the line after that one refers to resorting to sin and staying in it for a time before coming back to what I assume is supposed to be the straight and narrow way.
Anyone besides me seeing a problem yet? If not wait just a couple more lines and it should become clear. But in just those first few lines I'm left to make assumptions that the singer is even referencing Scripture. I find that to be a common thing with modern professing 'christians' today. One must often look real hard and make many assumptions to even know for sure if they are living a 'christian' life. From there the singer once again claims to not cast stones and then questions what gives anyone the right to tell him what to do. He all but says, mind your own business.
Is that a Christian response to anyone rebuking a professing 'Christian'?
But isn't it the standard response of most, if not all, professing 'christians' today? Don't they want to show up to 'church' on Sunday, dressed in their Sunday best, all 'dressed up for Jesus', and put in their time, doing their christian duty...one might even say, paying their pennance or serving their time...before they head back out into the world. I don't normally quote preachers but I once heard a preacher give a whole sermon on how people come to 'church' every week to get recharged just as we charge our phones. It's the best example I know of. 'Church' is now orchastrated to be an emotional high. It's like the strongest drug. It must hit on senses and emotions and draw a person in, charging them up, reassuring them that they are good 'christians' and giving them just enough of a push to feel like they have something to strive for over the next week until it's time to come back to 'church' and get charged up again.
I suppose we could call them churchaholics.
And these churchaholics get so charged up, so pandered to...so encouraged in their lives that no one dares to tell them that they are living in a way that if someone really looked at their life they would be hard pressed to tell most of them from every other non'christian' in the world. One is left to make great assumptions to come to the conclusion that they are 'christian' by any stretch of the word. But back to the song...
And then...what may well be the worst part of the 'Christian' song...the singer uses God's name in vain. As far as I can tell he takes a name that should be reserved for reverence and uses it as all but a curse word.
Which is really pretty common among many that profess a faith in Christ. I have stood in 'churches' before and heard people do the very same thing.
There's a reference, I assume, to Scripture but that reference isn't real clear if that's the intended meaning or not. It could just as easily be a reference to trying to live a certain way. Either way, the line after that one refers to resorting to sin and staying in it for a time before coming back to what I assume is supposed to be the straight and narrow way.
Anyone besides me seeing a problem yet? If not wait just a couple more lines and it should become clear. But in just those first few lines I'm left to make assumptions that the singer is even referencing Scripture. I find that to be a common thing with modern professing 'christians' today. One must often look real hard and make many assumptions to even know for sure if they are living a 'christian' life. From there the singer once again claims to not cast stones and then questions what gives anyone the right to tell him what to do. He all but says, mind your own business.
Is that a Christian response to anyone rebuking a professing 'Christian'?
But isn't it the standard response of most, if not all, professing 'christians' today? Don't they want to show up to 'church' on Sunday, dressed in their Sunday best, all 'dressed up for Jesus', and put in their time, doing their christian duty...one might even say, paying their pennance or serving their time...before they head back out into the world. I don't normally quote preachers but I once heard a preacher give a whole sermon on how people come to 'church' every week to get recharged just as we charge our phones. It's the best example I know of. 'Church' is now orchastrated to be an emotional high. It's like the strongest drug. It must hit on senses and emotions and draw a person in, charging them up, reassuring them that they are good 'christians' and giving them just enough of a push to feel like they have something to strive for over the next week until it's time to come back to 'church' and get charged up again.
I suppose we could call them churchaholics.
And these churchaholics get so charged up, so pandered to...so encouraged in their lives that no one dares to tell them that they are living in a way that if someone really looked at their life they would be hard pressed to tell most of them from every other non'christian' in the world. One is left to make great assumptions to come to the conclusion that they are 'christian' by any stretch of the word. But back to the song...
And then...what may well be the worst part of the 'Christian' song...the singer uses God's name in vain. As far as I can tell he takes a name that should be reserved for reverence and uses it as all but a curse word.
Which is really pretty common among many that profess a faith in Christ. I have stood in 'churches' before and heard people do the very same thing.
If that last line isn't the worst then the next one definitely is. He tells whoever he's speaking to, presumably everyone that ever listens to his song, to put up their Bible or ''let me get mine''.
What does he mean by that???
Is it a reference to the fact that he uses something other than God's holy Word? Is it... I can't even think of an alternative to what else that could mean. If I tell someone to put up their Bible or let me get mine, it would mean...what? First, again, I assume, he is saying he doesn't want to be corrected through Scripture. Second, again, I assume, he is saying if we are going to look at a Bible then I want it to be mine not yours.
Why?
What difference would it mean unless he, or anyone, doesn't believe that the Bible being used is an accurate version, or they don't like what an accurate version says and they want a perverted version that can be used to support their way of life?
The only other explanation I can think of that one could get from that statement, ""put up your Bible or let me get mine'' is that maybe he is saying either let's both have our Bible's and do Bible study or put your's away and let's not speak of it. Trouble with that assumption is that it does not fit with the rest of what that song seems to speak about.
From there the singer goes on to say he's not taking other's to hell and anyone correcting him is wasting their time. I've heard my uncle say the exact same thing so many times in my life that hearing that line was like taking a walk back through my life. At least my uncle had one thing right, he used to say he didn't need to go to a 'church' if he wanted to pray or read a Bible. He always said he could do that at home or under his shade tree. I've seen 'church' loving family members tear into him for that statement. Most 'christians' don't even seem to understand that, although most of them are well versed on the 'I'm not harming anyone else so leave me alone' thought process.
Then comes the part where the singer claims not to pray or read his bible like he should but he hopes others find their way. That pretty much sums up the song. But there's that little part about not praying or reading his Bible. No, of course He doesn't. If he did it might tell him something he doesn't want to hear. Prayers are probably offered in a 'bless me', 'give me', kind of way until something goes wrong in their life and then all of a sudden it's a 'make it better' kind of prayer. They don't pray to Jesus or read their Bible very often because those things are far from their hearts and minds. I do realize there are exceptions to that statement. I know some professing 'Christians' that spend a great deal of time in Bible study and prayer. But the majority...do not.
I've been in large 'churches' that hold to the 'come as you are', nondenominational nonsense of American 'Christianity' today. I've held the perverted Bibles in my hands and read bits and pieces of them. I've listened to professing 'Christians' all but say exactly what this song says. As I mentioned earlier this song should be the poster song for every professing 'Christian' in America today.
I recently wrote several articles about sin in good taste, something that seems to be the accepted norm nowadays. So long as my sin doesn't infringe upon your sin...so long as I don't dare to 'judge' you for your sin...so long as I accept you and your sin and keep my opinions, and more importantly my Bible verses, to myself, than sin is okay. Not only that but it's the accepted thing so long as it looks good before others. Don't let your sin show it's base roots in front of others, don't portray the darker side, and if it's in 'good taste' then it should be accepted and loved by all.
That is the summary of several recent blog posts and I'm going to go ahead and tack this post on to those. This song seems to be the very example of sin in 'good taste'. Just so long as "I" cast no stones and don't take other's to hell then "I" should be left alone...don't judge "me"...don't dare to tell me what to do or not to do...Just...mind your own business.
That's what this song is all about. That's the mindset of just about every professing 'christian' in America. And it's the point behind what seems to be just about every sin being flaunted before others today. It's all about not casting stones, not judging, never mind that Scripture says one can and should judge others based off SCRIPTURE. We should hold everyone that professes to be a Christian to what Scripture says a Christian should be. But never mind all that...after all, professing 'christians' don't want to hear that. They want you to put up your Bible, not rebuke them from Scripture or anywhere else. Just leave them alone, accept them and their sin as they are.
It's just another case of sin being in good taste.
What does he mean by that???
Is it a reference to the fact that he uses something other than God's holy Word? Is it... I can't even think of an alternative to what else that could mean. If I tell someone to put up their Bible or let me get mine, it would mean...what? First, again, I assume, he is saying he doesn't want to be corrected through Scripture. Second, again, I assume, he is saying if we are going to look at a Bible then I want it to be mine not yours.
Why?
What difference would it mean unless he, or anyone, doesn't believe that the Bible being used is an accurate version, or they don't like what an accurate version says and they want a perverted version that can be used to support their way of life?
The only other explanation I can think of that one could get from that statement, ""put up your Bible or let me get mine'' is that maybe he is saying either let's both have our Bible's and do Bible study or put your's away and let's not speak of it. Trouble with that assumption is that it does not fit with the rest of what that song seems to speak about.
From there the singer goes on to say he's not taking other's to hell and anyone correcting him is wasting their time. I've heard my uncle say the exact same thing so many times in my life that hearing that line was like taking a walk back through my life. At least my uncle had one thing right, he used to say he didn't need to go to a 'church' if he wanted to pray or read a Bible. He always said he could do that at home or under his shade tree. I've seen 'church' loving family members tear into him for that statement. Most 'christians' don't even seem to understand that, although most of them are well versed on the 'I'm not harming anyone else so leave me alone' thought process.
Then comes the part where the singer claims not to pray or read his bible like he should but he hopes others find their way. That pretty much sums up the song. But there's that little part about not praying or reading his Bible. No, of course He doesn't. If he did it might tell him something he doesn't want to hear. Prayers are probably offered in a 'bless me', 'give me', kind of way until something goes wrong in their life and then all of a sudden it's a 'make it better' kind of prayer. They don't pray to Jesus or read their Bible very often because those things are far from their hearts and minds. I do realize there are exceptions to that statement. I know some professing 'Christians' that spend a great deal of time in Bible study and prayer. But the majority...do not.
I've been in large 'churches' that hold to the 'come as you are', nondenominational nonsense of American 'Christianity' today. I've held the perverted Bibles in my hands and read bits and pieces of them. I've listened to professing 'Christians' all but say exactly what this song says. As I mentioned earlier this song should be the poster song for every professing 'Christian' in America today.
I recently wrote several articles about sin in good taste, something that seems to be the accepted norm nowadays. So long as my sin doesn't infringe upon your sin...so long as I don't dare to 'judge' you for your sin...so long as I accept you and your sin and keep my opinions, and more importantly my Bible verses, to myself, than sin is okay. Not only that but it's the accepted thing so long as it looks good before others. Don't let your sin show it's base roots in front of others, don't portray the darker side, and if it's in 'good taste' then it should be accepted and loved by all.
That is the summary of several recent blog posts and I'm going to go ahead and tack this post on to those. This song seems to be the very example of sin in 'good taste'. Just so long as "I" cast no stones and don't take other's to hell then "I" should be left alone...don't judge "me"...don't dare to tell me what to do or not to do...Just...mind your own business.
That's what this song is all about. That's the mindset of just about every professing 'christian' in America. And it's the point behind what seems to be just about every sin being flaunted before others today. It's all about not casting stones, not judging, never mind that Scripture says one can and should judge others based off SCRIPTURE. We should hold everyone that professes to be a Christian to what Scripture says a Christian should be. But never mind all that...after all, professing 'christians' don't want to hear that. They want you to put up your Bible, not rebuke them from Scripture or anywhere else. Just leave them alone, accept them and their sin as they are.
It's just another case of sin being in good taste.
Sunday, April 7, 2019
Open marriage...sin in 'good taste'
Several years ago I read a news article about something called an open marriage. I had never heard of such a thing and to this day I have had no more encounters with such a concept than that one news article.
I am actually horrified at the very idea of the definition of an open marriage. Aparently it means both husband and wife are free to have affairs with anyone they want. The very idea goes against everything I hold marriage to be.
Long before I was anything but a professing Christian, marriage was something special. I know I've written on marriage many times in the past. I can't even recall what all I wrote about it but I remember writing article after article on marriage. I think I've written about open marriages before. But...marriage deserves to be written on again. In fact it deserves to be written on often. It should be written on daily even.
Marriage is...
Amazing.
Marriage is...
Holy.
Marriage is...something special in this fallen world. Scripture paints the picture for us, telling us that men should leave their parents and cleave to their wives:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 ESV
With different verses Scripture paints such a beautiful picture showing us that marriage is honorable before all (Hebrews 13:4), that is represents the relationship between Christ and His people (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Marriage is honorable when it is kept between a man and a woman...one man, one woman...regardless of the spiritual condition of the soul of the two people that are married. Marriage is a remarkable thing that takes two people and makes them one person in two bodies.
I know what life is like without a husband. I remember what it was like. I faced life alone. No matter what happened, no matter who was around or how much those people loved me, I still faced life alone. I worked alone to tend to my home. I faced trials and struggles alone. I made choices alone. It was me...always me...alone. I was one person going through life, amidst family that loved me, but still, when all was said and done, I was alone.
Life is not like that in marriage. I know. I live life everyday married to the greatest man on earth, at least he is to me. I'm not the ideal wife but he loves me anyway. I fail and he loves me anyway. I stumble and he loves me. I am me and...he loves me.
My days, weeks, years...even moments...are no longer faced alone. I still have a multitude of family that loves me. I still love all of them. I know I could call any of them and they'd be there for me. That part of life is the same with or without a husband but...I am different with a husband. I am no longer me. Now I am my husband's wife.
Gone are the days when I make decisions alone. Gone are the days when I worried over home alone. Gone are the days when I faced trials and struggles alone. My husband cares for me and he shares my burdens. WE are a team that has completely obliterated I.
I no longer exist solely as me facing this world. Now I am one half of what makes up WE that face this world together. We struggle together. We face trials together. We make choices together. We have each other when times get tough.
I am gone.
And...
WE exist.
And the WE is like a living breathing entity that swallows up I. I am now me in the context of WE. And WE is amazing.
Oh, I can hear the outrage now. I can hear the people that will protest that. I can hear them parrot years of brainwashing back to me, telling me things I've heard before, telling me that I am me and my husband is he and we are not WE but two separate people. To that I can only say...
NO!
WE are he and I. WE are one with two separate halves that make up WE. And again...WE is amazing.
I know that not all marriages are amazing. I know that abuse happens, adultery happens. Marriages can be bad. I know that but that does not mean marriage is bad. It means the people in that marriage are bad and they are living the sinful life of total selfishness and are most likely unregenerate people that are living for self inside the boundaries (or lack of boundaries) of marriage.
Which brings us back to the article on open marriage. It wasn't all that long ago that my husband and I were having a conversation about something and the topic of marriage came up. I recall us discussing the difference in lusting after someone and taking notice of an attractive person. I told him I rarely notice enough about men I might encounter to know if they are attractive or not. One might say I have eyes only for my husband. I simply don't look at them enough to notice attractiveness.
Open marriage isn't something I have any interest in. It doesn't even hold a passing interest for me. If anything it's a concept that all but makes me shudder in revulsion. Why in the world would anyone want to have an affair with someone else when they are married?
I know the stories. I can sympathize with those in loveless marriages or with uncaring spouses, really I can, but...
Marriage is holy.
Marriage is, or should be, untouchable. Even if that marriage is bad the institute of marriage is such that it should not be betrayed. At least to me it is. And so an open marriage is something I have actually seen first hand with a relative but is still so awful in my mind that I just can't grasp why anyone would want such a thing.
I have a relative that actually moved two, that I know of, girlfriends into his home with his wife and children. He had numerous other girlfriends too but as far as I know he never moved them into his home with his family. So you see, this idea isn't new to me, I've seen it first hand, but...
Why?
The only answer I have is that the evil in the unregenerate's heart is so great that they seek more than they have. They covet what they don't have. One wife or one husband isn't good enough so they need someone else. They want the affection...the satisfaction...the attention...the...whatever...of someone other than their spouse.
Once upon a time people that dabbled in, or wallowed in, adultery kept their 'other' on the side, quietly. They had their cake and they ate it too, so to speak, but they did so quietly. It wasn't flaunted before the world, or at least it mostly wasn't flaunted before the world. Now...open marriages are embraced. That whole 'you do you, I'll do me' thing accepts and encourages every manner of sin that one wishes to become a glutton on.
Once upon a time married men with girlfriends had them on the sly. Some still do, I'm sure, but many do not. Now they advertise for intimacy on the internet and even have their girlfriends in their homes with their wives. Not only that but they announce it to other people like they would announce they have a wife. It's either a matter of fact thing or a pride thing but they toss it out there like it's nothing, like there's nothing wrong in it. And I guess for them there isn't. After all, if their spouse doesn't object why does it matter if anyone else does?
And so we have another case of sin in 'good taste'. They want their sin and they don't want to hide it. They want others to accept it so it's tossed before others with the expectation that anyone hearing about their life will embrace it, embrace them, and encourage them in what they are doing.
We have television shows about polygamy. I saw a news article about first cousins finding a way to skirt the law so they could marry because 'who cares what our family thinks'. I'm sure there are many more examples but the point is that whatever one wants so long as it's done in 'good taste' it's okay.
Open marriage is okay so long as...what? What makes the difference between the kind of adultery that is socially acceptable and the kind of adultery that isn't? Is adultery okay so long as the spouse is in agreement? Or is it okay so long as the 'other' is a law abiding, decent person? Is it something to be kept secret and looked down on by others if the 'other' is a prostitute?
And what of the 'other'? What makes someone, anyone, get involved with a married person...at all...ever...but especially knowing this person is married and plans to stay that way? What makes someone walk into such a situation with open eyes and yet they do it anyway?
Is it covetousness? Do they want that married person for their own so badly that they enter into adultery anyway? Is it covetousness because that married person can offer them a way of life, or encounters, that they cannot afford for themselves?
And more so than the married couple and the 'other'...what makes those in society decide that this is acceptable to the point that these people in open marriages feel no shame in announcing they have a girlfriend or boyfriend? No shame in moving someone else into their home, in exposing their family and friends, to their depravity?
I am actually horrified at the very idea of the definition of an open marriage. Aparently it means both husband and wife are free to have affairs with anyone they want. The very idea goes against everything I hold marriage to be.
Long before I was anything but a professing Christian, marriage was something special. I know I've written on marriage many times in the past. I can't even recall what all I wrote about it but I remember writing article after article on marriage. I think I've written about open marriages before. But...marriage deserves to be written on again. In fact it deserves to be written on often. It should be written on daily even.
Marriage is...
Amazing.
Marriage is...
Holy.
Marriage is...something special in this fallen world. Scripture paints the picture for us, telling us that men should leave their parents and cleave to their wives:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 ESV
With different verses Scripture paints such a beautiful picture showing us that marriage is honorable before all (Hebrews 13:4), that is represents the relationship between Christ and His people (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Marriage is honorable when it is kept between a man and a woman...one man, one woman...regardless of the spiritual condition of the soul of the two people that are married. Marriage is a remarkable thing that takes two people and makes them one person in two bodies.
I know what life is like without a husband. I remember what it was like. I faced life alone. No matter what happened, no matter who was around or how much those people loved me, I still faced life alone. I worked alone to tend to my home. I faced trials and struggles alone. I made choices alone. It was me...always me...alone. I was one person going through life, amidst family that loved me, but still, when all was said and done, I was alone.
Life is not like that in marriage. I know. I live life everyday married to the greatest man on earth, at least he is to me. I'm not the ideal wife but he loves me anyway. I fail and he loves me anyway. I stumble and he loves me. I am me and...he loves me.
My days, weeks, years...even moments...are no longer faced alone. I still have a multitude of family that loves me. I still love all of them. I know I could call any of them and they'd be there for me. That part of life is the same with or without a husband but...I am different with a husband. I am no longer me. Now I am my husband's wife.
Gone are the days when I make decisions alone. Gone are the days when I worried over home alone. Gone are the days when I faced trials and struggles alone. My husband cares for me and he shares my burdens. WE are a team that has completely obliterated I.
I no longer exist solely as me facing this world. Now I am one half of what makes up WE that face this world together. We struggle together. We face trials together. We make choices together. We have each other when times get tough.
I am gone.
And...
WE exist.
And the WE is like a living breathing entity that swallows up I. I am now me in the context of WE. And WE is amazing.
Oh, I can hear the outrage now. I can hear the people that will protest that. I can hear them parrot years of brainwashing back to me, telling me things I've heard before, telling me that I am me and my husband is he and we are not WE but two separate people. To that I can only say...
NO!
WE are he and I. WE are one with two separate halves that make up WE. And again...WE is amazing.
I know that not all marriages are amazing. I know that abuse happens, adultery happens. Marriages can be bad. I know that but that does not mean marriage is bad. It means the people in that marriage are bad and they are living the sinful life of total selfishness and are most likely unregenerate people that are living for self inside the boundaries (or lack of boundaries) of marriage.
Which brings us back to the article on open marriage. It wasn't all that long ago that my husband and I were having a conversation about something and the topic of marriage came up. I recall us discussing the difference in lusting after someone and taking notice of an attractive person. I told him I rarely notice enough about men I might encounter to know if they are attractive or not. One might say I have eyes only for my husband. I simply don't look at them enough to notice attractiveness.
Open marriage isn't something I have any interest in. It doesn't even hold a passing interest for me. If anything it's a concept that all but makes me shudder in revulsion. Why in the world would anyone want to have an affair with someone else when they are married?
I know the stories. I can sympathize with those in loveless marriages or with uncaring spouses, really I can, but...
Marriage is holy.
Marriage is, or should be, untouchable. Even if that marriage is bad the institute of marriage is such that it should not be betrayed. At least to me it is. And so an open marriage is something I have actually seen first hand with a relative but is still so awful in my mind that I just can't grasp why anyone would want such a thing.
I have a relative that actually moved two, that I know of, girlfriends into his home with his wife and children. He had numerous other girlfriends too but as far as I know he never moved them into his home with his family. So you see, this idea isn't new to me, I've seen it first hand, but...
Why?
The only answer I have is that the evil in the unregenerate's heart is so great that they seek more than they have. They covet what they don't have. One wife or one husband isn't good enough so they need someone else. They want the affection...the satisfaction...the attention...the...whatever...of someone other than their spouse.
Once upon a time people that dabbled in, or wallowed in, adultery kept their 'other' on the side, quietly. They had their cake and they ate it too, so to speak, but they did so quietly. It wasn't flaunted before the world, or at least it mostly wasn't flaunted before the world. Now...open marriages are embraced. That whole 'you do you, I'll do me' thing accepts and encourages every manner of sin that one wishes to become a glutton on.
Once upon a time married men with girlfriends had them on the sly. Some still do, I'm sure, but many do not. Now they advertise for intimacy on the internet and even have their girlfriends in their homes with their wives. Not only that but they announce it to other people like they would announce they have a wife. It's either a matter of fact thing or a pride thing but they toss it out there like it's nothing, like there's nothing wrong in it. And I guess for them there isn't. After all, if their spouse doesn't object why does it matter if anyone else does?
And so we have another case of sin in 'good taste'. They want their sin and they don't want to hide it. They want others to accept it so it's tossed before others with the expectation that anyone hearing about their life will embrace it, embrace them, and encourage them in what they are doing.
We have television shows about polygamy. I saw a news article about first cousins finding a way to skirt the law so they could marry because 'who cares what our family thinks'. I'm sure there are many more examples but the point is that whatever one wants so long as it's done in 'good taste' it's okay.
Open marriage is okay so long as...what? What makes the difference between the kind of adultery that is socially acceptable and the kind of adultery that isn't? Is adultery okay so long as the spouse is in agreement? Or is it okay so long as the 'other' is a law abiding, decent person? Is it something to be kept secret and looked down on by others if the 'other' is a prostitute?
And what of the 'other'? What makes someone, anyone, get involved with a married person...at all...ever...but especially knowing this person is married and plans to stay that way? What makes someone walk into such a situation with open eyes and yet they do it anyway?
Is it covetousness? Do they want that married person for their own so badly that they enter into adultery anyway? Is it covetousness because that married person can offer them a way of life, or encounters, that they cannot afford for themselves?
And more so than the married couple and the 'other'...what makes those in society decide that this is acceptable to the point that these people in open marriages feel no shame in announcing they have a girlfriend or boyfriend? No shame in moving someone else into their home, in exposing their family and friends, to their depravity?
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