Monday, February 6, 2017

The enslavement of marriage

I recently wrote a post over a feminist poster that I saw, something that I tried very hard to just skim past when I saw it but then what I saw stayed with me so much that I needed to write just to clear up my own thoughts.

Well, today I saw something that effected me very much the same way. It was once again something having to do with feminists although I was kind of amazed that this came straight from a man's mouth. I know there are all types out there and I know that there are men that support women't causes but...feminism is so much of an anti-man cause that I would think that no man would want to support it. I know I wouldn't want anything to do with it if I was a man and yet...a man said something that was so disturbing to me that I am once again writing about feminism, not because I really want to but because my mind simply has a hard time understanding how anyone out there can think this way, much less how men can think this way.

Doesn't feminism directly disregard men?

Aren't feminists of a mindset that women are somehow victimized because they are women and that all men are the reason for all their woes simply because they are men?

And yet...there was this man saying what I wish I could quote word for word but what amounted to:

Women are so brainwashed by a fake sense of needing to conform and to have security that they willing enter into the 'marriage tradition', possibly the most horrid example of enslaving one person to another in all of history. People take their kids to church were they are taught that women can never reach the heights that men can. There are feminists that still want their dad to walk them down the aisle and 'give' them away. Homosexuals didn't fight for equality in all things they fought to be allowed to marry. Social pressure toward marriage is so strong that they actually fought to be included in this 'disgusting ritual' that is the base of enslaving women. Women will never be equal until we get rid of such enslaving traditions.

Oh...my. I don't even know how to respond to that. My first thought...that was written by a MAN. Um, what man is so for women usurping them that they would think such a thing much less give voice to it?

I know someone that claims that women aren't treated fairly because they make less money than men do. Maybe I'm super sheltered, I've only held a handful of jobs in my life. I've never tried to climb a career ladder, never desired to gain ground in a job. But...isn't minimum wage the same for women as it is for men? Do men make more money as a whole? I have no idea. I know when I was in high school I had a teacher encourage all the girls to go into construction work because federal laws require equality in the workplace and that means construction companies must hire women to meet a quota of female to male workers. Trouble is there are very few, at least at that time, women that want to do construction work. And so...said our teacher...women in construction can pretty much set their own pay rate because the construction companies have to hire a certain number of women to keep out of trouble with the government.

My high school years were a long time ago and so much has changed since then that we may as well be living in a different world but I'm sure there are jobs where women are paid exactly the same as men and that there are jobs that women actually make more money than men do. It's just the nature of any game. Lawyers make more money than store managers, doctors make more than taxidermists. And I have no doubt that there are some jobs out there where women make more money than men do. I know from experience that child care is a profession that is proliferated with female workers and male workers are rarely encouraged to work in that field. Having worked in several child care facilities many years ago, and knowing many parents now, that is mostly the result of the parents feelings about having men caring for their children. There is simply a safety issue involved with men looking after children that most parents don't consider to be a concern when the caretaker is female. And so...men aren't very prevalent in the childcare workers. Or at least they didn't used to be.

But whether or not women are paid equally to men...why would a man encourage this...dare I say, craziness of feminism? It seems to me that feminism is in direct opposition to men.

My faith gives me guidelines for what men and women are to be. Men are to be the providers, the protectors. Women are to be the home keepers, the nurturers. But even if a person didn't believe in the Lord...is it really all that hard to see that men and women are different? That that difference is a good thing? And even if they can't see that, can they not see that feminists are about as against men as they can get?

I've had little experience with feminists but here lately I've had a few more encounters with the feminist movement than I'd like. I've said it before, and will no doubt say it again, I believe feminists ruined life for women that truly want to be...women. They took a country that saw women as weaker vessels, a country where men held doors for women, lifted heavy items, and generally, as a whole, looked out for women and turned it into a country where women are seen as the same as men. More or less.

I've had people tell me I should put my children in daycare and go to work. Why? Not because they had anything at stake in the way I was living but because that is the mindset of our country now. Men work. Women work. This is desired.

I recently ran into a cousin that I haven't seen in years. She works full time and both her children are in public school. Over the Christmas holiday she had the same time off work that her children had off from school. This cousin actually told me, while standing in front of her daughter, that she would much rather work than be at home with her kids.

What is wrong with this thought process?

Years ago I was babysitting for a woman that was working when I started keeping her child but then wound up unemployed. This woman paid me to watch her child, day after day, while she sat home collecting unemployment.Why? Because she couldn't handle her own toddler.

This is what feminism has brought us to. This is the mindset of America today. Children are institutionalized almost from the moment they're born so that women can work.

And now I hear something so degrading to marriage that I can't even think of a proper way to describe it. I'll admit that the modern American marriage isn't what it should be. I've seen married couples stand in their yard and scream at each other. I've seen husband's abuse their wives. Seen wives chase their husband with a baseball bat. I've heard a wife speak all kinds of horrific things about her husband while said husband was home caring for their children.

Marriage today isn't what it should be. But it isn't enslavement, not by a long shot. Not in America. And it isn't just some ritual or tradition that we keep to the detriment of women.

How can anyone feel that marriage is an enslavement to women? I know there are countries where arranged marriages are the norm. I know there are cultures where women truly are treated as less than human. And I know that the very cultures and religions that practice those things also exist in America, and that they practice those things inside America despite laws that do not allow such things, but as a whole American women freely choose to marry and they choose who they will marry.

Some women chose to be stay at home wives, some chose to raise their own children rather than pass them off to others to do the job the Lord gave them to do. But with very few exceptions these are women that willingly chose to do this. They want to be a stay at home wife. They want to be a stay at home mom. They want to be there when their husband comes home from work. They want to care for their children.

These women aren't enslaved. They aren't oppressed. They aren't mistreated. I know because I am one of these women. My sister is one of these women. My friend is one of these women. We don't feel enslaved. We feel blessed. Our husbands love us. They care for us. They look after us.

My husband works long hours, often dealing with physical exhaustion and pain, working in the cold and rain, giving up his time, effort, and energy to make a living for our family. And he does it all for us. I'm not enslaved. I'm not mistreated. I'm not oppressed in any way. And no, I'm not brainwashed into thinking these things. I am loved. I am cared for. I am taken care of. I am protected from the harsher side of life. I am protected from the physical and mental demands of holding down a job. And...I am blessed.

I am not, and never have been, a slave because I am married.

I have to wonder if the man that made that statement has ever been married. Does he even truly know what marriage is like? Has he experienced it? And if he did...was he an enslaving kind of husband? If so...than maybe he should look at himself and not at marriage in general. Did he mistreat his wife? Was his dad an abusive husband? Did he feel like his mother was a slave to his dad?

What would prompt a man to speak against marriage? What would prompt him to hold such contempt of marriage, under the guise of giving women equality, that he would go so far as to say homosexuals should not have wanted the right to marry (I happen to agree with him but not for the reasons he feels that way). Do the homosexuals know something that this man doesn't? Maybe they see that marriage is a good thing. Maybe they see the give and take, the support, the security in simply knowing someone is there for you, someone to share your life with, and they wanted to be a part of that.

Now...I am NOT for a single second advocating homosexual marriage. Such a thing goes against Scripture. And it goes against the very nature of what marriage is. A union created by the Lord between one man and one woman to represent the relationship between Christ and His people. It is a holy union that cannot be attained by people committing what Scripture refers to as sodomy and is an abomination to the Lord. What I am saying is that maybe, just maybe, homosexuals somehow sense the importance of marriage and that despite the sin that holds them hostage in their thoughts and deeds, that maybe they see that there is something special in marriage. And maybe they understand something that the man that spoke against marriage, on behalf of freedom for women, does not understand.

Marriage is not enslavement. Marriage is an honor.

No comments:

Post a Comment