Love or hate?

A number of months ago I wrote an article that I titled 'What is love', you can find that post here: http://journeyingtochrist.blogspot.com/2016/09/what-is-love.html#comment-form. I don't recall all the reasons why I wrote that post but I do remember that it had a lot to do with what America defines as love today.

Because I could remember writing the post but not what was in it I reread that post today. It was just as applicable today as it was the day I wrote it. But today I read something that has me wanting to write on love again.

Love truly is a funny thing. It's a very complicated thing and if we were to really ask ourselves what love is...could we come up with an adequate answer? By human definition, love is this feel good emotion, said to come from the heart, that makes us inclined to favor one person over another. We marry for love. We love our children. We love our friends.

We may even tell people we love them when we don't mean it. As a kid I had a relative that would tell me they loved me, if I didn't answer with 'I love you' then I would get into trouble. So...I responded by saying 'I love you' but I never once felt love for that person, in fact I strongly disliked that person but to save myself...I said 'I love you'.

I once knew someone that would say 'anyone can say I love you, you have to show someone that you love them'.

Love is...what?

Is it actions? Is it words? Is it a gushy feeling deep inside you when you're around someone?

The other day my husband was doing something that was just...my husband, but in his doing what he naturally does it made me laugh and brought a bit of fun and joy to my day and so I told him, ''I love you''. He responded by telling me he loved me and then asking, 'what was that for', not because I don't tell him that I love him, I do, but because of the way I said it and maybe the tone of voice I used when I said it. But the truth is I told him I loved him because of the way he made me feel at that moment, it was a happy gushy kind of feeling and he caused it with his actions, which had nothing to do with me. He was just being him, doing something that had nothing to do with me, but I saw him and it made me happy and so I told him I loved him.

But that was a feeling.

And yet...that is love. But it's not the only kind of love.

My husband shows he loves by taking care of those he loves. He provides for us, does for us. This morning I got up to a blazing fire in the fireplace. What a wonderful thing to wake up to on a cold morning. That was my husband taking care of us, warming our home. He cuts wood to use in that fire place for one reason only...because his family enjoys it. My husband never uses that fireplace when he's home alone.

And so, through his actions, my husband shows us that he loves us.

Still, I find myself asking...what is love? Can we truly ever answer that question and if we do, are we answering in the true meaning of love or are we answering in our human emotions understanding of what love is?

I know someone online, only through social media, that often writes of how they cannot get anyone to take them to the places they want to go. This person writes of how happy they are when their friends take them places, of how loved they are because those people transport them to places, and then complain about how no one seems to care about them when they can't get a ride to somewhere they want to go. Let me just say straight out that I've had to mentally stifle my fingers from writing out a reply many, many times to this person. It gets irritating seeing this person write of how loved they are when someone is doing for them but then complain about how no one cares about them when no one is doing for them.

Their definition of love appears to be based on what others can do for them. And quite honestly I find it hard not to point out to this person, someone that lives across the country from me, someone I've never met and probably never will meet, that those people that love them so much when they are doing for them and don't care anything about them when they aren't doing for them all have lives of their own, that they are already going out of their way for this person.

But for that person, love appears to be what someone else can do for them.

And I find myself wondering...what is love?

Not in the sense of truly not understanding what love is, I do understand that, but in the sense of there has to be a greater definition of what love is than just how we, as fallen people, define it.

I've heard it said that love rules the world, that love is what makes the world go round. And it's true. Love does rule the world, love is what caused the world to go round but it isn't our human understanding of love that rules the world or makes it go round.

All of Scripture tells us the story of God and His love for His people, the people that he chose to be His before He ever made the earth. The earth, and everything on it, is here because of God's love for His people. And so...love rules the world, love is why the earth was made, it goes round because of God's love for His people.

But God's love is nowhere close to how humans define love.

About a week ago I found myself in a conversation with my uncle. He had seen a picture of a five year old Muslim boy being detained in handcuffs at an airport. My uncle was upset over that picture because this was 'God's child' and 'what would Jesus do'. Oh, the conversation that ensued over that. I pointed out that people in a religion that do not believe in the true God are people that live in defiance of God and that this child likely was not 'God's child'. My uncle didn't seem to get it. I would up explaining that God is a holy God and that He loves with a righteous love.

God's love is not the same as our human idea of what love is.

He killed His own son to appease His wrath so that He could love fallen people. Does that sound like a human kind of love? How many people do you know that get so angry with those they love that they must pour their wrath onto one person, wrath that ends in death, so that they can love others? God's love defies our human understanding of what love is.

That is pretty much what I read this morning that got me to thinking about love...again. Except that what I read wasn't close to being worded the way I just worded it. What I read said that we have a man-centered view of love that has people believing from babyhood that if we don't make much of them than we don't love them.

And it's true.

I have a relative that read a parenting book that taught that we must affirm our children's feelings that all their bad behavior is simply a need for more attention. According to that book a parent must pour great emotion and time into their child and when their child is bad they should not discipline and should instead pour even more time and emotion into that child because it simply isn't getting enough attention.

I never read that book but what has brought people to the point of believing that a child simply needs more attention when they are bad and that they shouldn't be disciplined? I grew up being told that a child needs attention from their parents and that if they don't get that attention when they are good then they will be bad because bad attention is better than no attention. I have seen that played out but I can't say a misbehaving kid needs only more attention.

And yet...that seems to be our cultures belief on what love is nowadays. Kids need more attention. Young adults and adults that throw tantrums in public because something doesn't go their way need to be accepted and affirmed in their beliefs.

We are told to love them regardless of their actions or behaviors. We are told we hate them if we tell them they are behaving in a bad way. We are told that we are intolerant if we don't want to put up with their actions or lifestyle.

And we are told all these things in the name of 'love'.

But that isn't how God defines love. Scripture shows us God's love from the first word to the last word. And we are shown the highest level of love. Christ died for those that God gave to Him. He died for His people so that He might save them for Himself.

He is like the treasure at the end of the rainbow or tucked inside a treasure chest. We must seek after Him, living for Him, as He defines life, so that we might experience the greatest love their is. God is love but His love is not the gushy love everyone kind of love that people would have us to believe He is. God loves with a holy love because He also hates with a holy hate and we cannot separate His love from His hate.

God is love.

God is hate.

That is love. That is God's love. He has high standards for people, he expects His people to live a certain way, and there is no compromise on His definition of what love is.

We as people can only comprehend love from our human hearts and minds. Scripture says that our hearts are deceitful above all things. Our hearts must have a higher definition of what love is or we can't define love but by our emotions.

People today have all kinds of mixed views of what love is but mostly they believe that love means accepting everyone along with their actions. That's not love. That's actually hate. Scripture says that a parent that does not discipline their child hates their child. We may not need to discipline the people in the world but if we accept their sins without telling them what those sins will cost them...we hate them.

Love is not defined by our ability to not offend someone. Love is defined by God and what He says love is. People have an amazing way of muddling things up. Adam and Eve did it in the garden of Eden and people have been doing it ever since. We mess everything up.

And now people are trying to base love not on a biblical or even moral standard of what love is but on a sinful standard. To love someone, says our culture, we must love them and their sins, if we do not then we hate them.