Welcome home, husband

Not long after my husband and I married a friend of mine told me something that has stuck with me…funny how we pick up little things that become such big things to us. This friend said ‘you may be the only safe place your husband has.’

At the time being my husband’s safe place sounded intriguing but it was one of those things that you hear and then forget. Or so I thought. But the forgetting never came. That statement has stayed with me long past when my friend said it.

It is something I have…often without realizing I’m doing it…strived to be for my husband. I want to be his safe place.

There are various businesses that put up signs that say it is a safe place…schools, hospitals, fire departments, even convenience stores. They put those signs on their buildings so that people that need a safe place to go know that they can go there. I don’t know exactly what it means when one of these buildings put those signs out. They may have to take certain classes or pass certain tests. They may have to agree to do certain things should someone come in seeking safety. I don’t know.

What I do know is that by putting those signs on the side of their buildings they are saying to the world…we are a safe place. You can trust us. You can come here when you need help.

I want to be that safe place for my husband.

It means a great deal to me when he shares his deeper thoughts and feelings with me. It means a lot to me for my husband to know that he can tell me anything, that I’m not going to betray his confidences…that I’m not going to betray him in any way.

I heard a woman tell her husband once that he was her home.

When I think of the message conveyed in that single statement it is simply astounding. Her husband was her home.

What do we gain from our homes? Safety. Security. A place to be ourselves. A place to feel comfortable. A place to find peace. A place to relax. A place to simply…be.

Our home says much about who we are, what we value, what’s most important to us. It is our get away in a hectic world that all too often bombards us with things we don’t want to encounter.

Home is our safe place.

The woman that told her husband that he is her home was telling him…you are my safe place. She said so much…to me anyway…when she told him ‘you are my home.’

My husband is my safe place. He is my home.

I want to be that for him.

Titus 2 tells us we are to be keepers at home. I’m going to step just slightly out of context here. In that verse it is speaking of keeping the home, or working in the home. I know that but I don’t believe it’s getting too far out of context to apply that verse to our husbands.

If our homes are our safe place…if my husband is my safe place…why can’t I make my heart my husband’s home?

Saying that my husband is my safe place means that for me, he is the place I know I can turn to no matter what I need. I know he’s there for me in anything.

Home is a place we come to when our day is finished. It is the place where we can relax. It is our…sanctuary…in the world.

When we move into a house it is empty. We have walls, floors, counters, fixtures, maybe a few appliances and nothing else. It’s almost…cold…in its emptiness. As we settle in we put our things away. Our furniture is positioned in a way that we like it. Our pictures go on the walls. Our clothes go in the closets and our comfort items are placed throughout the house. And an empty house is turned into a home.

The place in my heart where my husband lives was empty before I met him. When love came it quickly filled my heart. He moved in. He settled in. He made that space his own, filled it with him much the way we fill an empty house with our belongings.

We physically come into our homes to find a safe place in the world. Our husband should be able to emotionally come into our heart and find the same kind of safe place. My heart is my husband’s home.

The doors are wide open for him…he has the key that unlocks them.

But what does it take to be that safe place? What does it take to know that another person is your safe place…your home?

Trust.

Love.

Respect.

Commitment.

At least…that’s what it takes for me to let my husband be my safe place. I know my husband is committed to me, that he trusts me. I know he loves me, I know I have his respect…and he has my trust.

I know he’ll be there for me anytime I need him. And because I know all that…because I have all that…he is my safe place.

How betrayed would we feel if we came home one day to discover that our home had locked its doors against us…a silly thought but…how would we feel if it happened?

When my daughter was little one of her favorite books was about a house that got tired of being dirty. Everything in the house got up and left and finally even the house left.

How betrayed would we feel if our house left? Or if we couldn’t get into it? If we were locked out?

My heart is my husband’s home. I want him never be locked out. I want the doors flung open in homecoming every time he is near.

I want the words written on the door to say…

Welcome home, husband.

And I want him to know that my heart is his home even if he isn’t nearby. I want him to know when he’s at work or elsewhere that my heart is his, that I want to be…will be…his safe place, his home. When he thinks of me I want him to feel the peace and joy of being at home. Because I want my heart to be his home.