Babies then and now

Babies have shown up in my life in a big way this past year. In 12 months my sister told me she was pregnant, a friend became pregnant, two of my daughters became pregnant, and I became pregnant. Unfortunately we lost four of those five babies. Of the five of us only my sister was able to carry her baby to term and have it. Within a couple of months of the birth of my niece the same four of us that had so recently lost babies were once again expecting. First it was a new grandbaby on the way, then my friends baby, then my own, and now another grandbaby.

Never before have I had so many babies in my family. Added to the four that are now on the way…because the friend that is expecting is more sister than friend I count her baby as family…I also have my niece, a two year old nephew, and a one year old grandson.

Babies…babies…everywhere.

Blessings abound.

Lord willing, by this time next year (between the five of us women that have brought, or are bringing, babies into my family) we will have two four year olds, a three year old, a two year old, a one year old and four babies under 12 months old. And that’s not counting the children we have that are already over the age of five.

My teenage daughter just told me that she doesn’t count children over the age of two as babies so…let’s narrow the field a little bit. In my family we will have six babies aged two and under. Five of those babies will, Lord willing, be born within a 12 month time span.

All of those babies will be born to a different mother. We all have different ideas on how to raise babies. Some of us are just starting our parenting journey while others of us are far into it. As I think of each of us…all family…all of different families…that will, Lord willing be bringing babies into the world over the next nine months, I think of the differences in our likes and dislikes, the differences in what we will be acquiring for those babies.

I recently wrote about what a trip through the baby section in a store is like (Living in a theme park world). I wrote of the electronic toys that abound and how many babies are being raised on them.

Now as I think of the babies about to be born into my life, as I think of the toddlers that are already here, I think too of the differences in the toys that each child has. I think of the toddlers that are regularly handed their parents phones, of the two year old nephew I’m told can work his dad’s video game system, of the babies and toddlers that will be handed electronic toys and of the ones that will have no battery operated toy.

And I think of history. I think of the stories my mother told of when she was preparing for her babies, of the stories my grandmother told of when she prepared for hers, and I think further back then that.

 Thinking back what life would have been like in the 1800’s…I draw off what I know of that time, and what I imagine life was like based on what I know, to form an idea of what it would have been like to prepare for a baby in that time. If a couple in those days made a list of what they needed for their baby-to-be…what would that list have looked like?

Diapers

Gowns

Hat

Booties/stockings

Quilts

cradle

To make that list I consulted with my teenage daughter and after much thought that was the extent of what we could come up with. The cradle was something I even hesitated to put on there because it most likely wasn’t seen as a necessity. A crate, drawer, or basket would have worked just as well.

Now that was a list for someone who most likely struggled with money. Someone that had plenty of money probably added things like baby rattles, bonnets, spoons…and who knew what else.

If a family had some money but not a lot it’s possible that they might have added things like diaper pins and some sort of ointment or powder to the list. There might have been a few other items.

But when I look at the above list I’m forced to admit it isn’t realistic. It may have been a realistic list for what they needed but it wouldn’t have been realistic for what they were shopping for. Diapers wouldn’t have made a shopping list…diaper material would have. Gowns wouldn’t have made a shopping list…material to make the gowns would have. Quilts wouldn’t have made the shopping list…they would have searched their material scraps for enough to make a quilt.

There was no running to the store, filling a cart, and handing over money to buy the things they needed…things that were ready to use for baby.

Their lists would have been short and would have required a lot of work to acquire the necessary items.

A list from my grandmothers childbearing days may well have looked like this…

Diapers (these would have been cloth 99% of the time. Disposables existed but were expensive and considered an unnecessary expense.)

Diaper pins

Diaper box (a place to store the babies diapers)

Gowns/dresses (even boys wore dresses)

Diaper shirts (something along the lines of a button down shirt but usually without sleeves)

Hats

Bibs

Blankets/quilts

Baby powder

Bottles

Crib/cradle/bed

Possibly some sort of baby seat

Internet searches for baby necessities of the 1950’s turned up nothing useful so I made this list based on the things my grandmother talked of using with her babies. There may have been other items on a new mothers list of needs in those days or there may have been less. I really don’t know but must assume that then, like now, the list would have been made up of the items the new mother most needed/wanted and would have reflected her financial situation. If she was having a baby shower she may have added items she wanted but didn’t necessarily need.

Today…a list for baby-to-be is much, much different.

First off the list of things a new mother needs, or thinks she needs, has grown so many times over that it can hardly be recognized as the same sort of list as the two above. I have what’s called a pregnancy organizer and it, like most pregnancy books, give a list of what you must have for your new baby. Gone are the days of needing gowns, diapers, and basic clothing. Here is a sampling of what the lists of must haves in pregnancy books today look like…

Onesies (a number is given)

Sleep and play outfits (another number)

Gowns (number)

Blanket sleepers (number)

Sweaters (number)

Hats (number)

Snowsuit

Socks (number)

Bibs (number)

Diaper covers if using cloth diapers (number)

That is just the clothing section, minus a few things that to me fell into one of the categories I listed. Gone are the days of the simple list made up of necessities. Gone are the days of simple needs. Our great-great grandmothers didn’t have snowsuits for their babies…they had quilts. I’m going to hazard a guess that they had no more than three quilts for their baby. Today’s babies not only need a snowsuit but they also need up to half a dozen receiving blankets, a minimum of two heavy blankets and possibly other blankets each designed to fit the baby device they may be using…a blanket type cover for their car seat, a crib sized blanket, a bassinet sized blanket…

Which brings me into the other items our new little one must have…

Disposable diapers (by the case…put number here for each size)

Sheets for each type of baby bed or play yard

Waterproof pads for any kind of bed baby might lay on

Towels

 Washrags

Burp cloths

Bottles (even if you’re breastfeeding)

Breast pump if you’re breastfeeding

Formula

Pacifier

Feeding utensils

A long list of medication, ointments, creams, and medical supplies

An equally long list of personal hygiene items (I don’t even use this many different products). Apparently baby needs everything from soap (shampoo is listed separately) to ointment and creams (this is in addition to the ointments and creams listed under the medical supplies) to a brush and comb. And lets not forget baby powder, lotion, baby wipes…

If your house hasn’t been filled to capacity yet we can move on to all the many other things your five to nine pound baby that could care less about any of this stuff simply ‘must’ have before it makes its arrival.

Let’s add the big stuff now…

Stroller

Child safety seat (car seat)

Baby carrier

Diaper bag

Bassinet or cradle

Crib with mattress, mobile, and all the other attachments

Changing table

Diaper pail

Bath tub

Rocking chair

Bouncer

Swing

Baby monitor

Pack and play

High chair

Portable high chair

Entertainer/jumpy seat

Safety gates

I don’t know about you but that list is enough to boggle my mind. After having numerous children I can safely say that babies don’t need 95% of the junk on that list. And most of it…at least the big stuff…is designed to separate baby from mom and dad. Because they will be spending many hours on their own you’ll also need to add in a hundred different kinds of toys…they’ll need toys for the car and toys for the stroller. They’ll need soft toys for the bed and loud toys for when they’re most active…

I don’t know about you but I’m going back to the list from the 1800’s. There’s no difference in the baby I will, Lord willing, be having in a few months and the babies born in the 1800’s. No matter the time they are born into babies come into this world knowing nothing of the things society claims they need. I don’t need a million different items to take care of my child and I don’t want even a fraction of that many.

I want the enjoyment of my baby not the shuffling of it from one entertainment device to another to keep it happy in my absence.