I've set in many 'Church' buildings, been to Sunday suppers (usually lunches), attended Bible studies, vacation Bible schools... I've even been enrolled in a Christian school in my childhood. I've seen a lot of what goes on in these Church buildings whether they are in the Bible belt or not.
I've also seen what goes on in some of the upstanding members homes when they take off their 'church' clothes and stop playing religion. Some of them live what they show on Sundays. Most do not. For many, going to church is much like going to the movies. It's their entertainment for the week or worse, their penance. They drag themselves out of bed on Sunday, some with smiles, others with grumbling, climb into their best clothes, spruce their children up and pick up the Bible they may not have touched since last Sunday. Then they drive, walk/ride, to the worship building of their choice where they mingle with friends and others, visit, gossip, and sit through a service that is often filled with stories of everyday life scattered with a few seeds of Scripture and kept entertaining with songs and jokes mixed throughout the entire one hour session. By the end of that session most are ready to escape like a racehorse out of a starting gate. They may be happy to stand around visiting but they hit the end of the sermon with exuberance and a huge sigh of relief.
Finally.
They served their time and now they are free.
I know. I've been there. I've watched them. I've talked with them. I was one of them. I can, much to my chagrin now, recall sitting through services with a cell phone in my hand playing solitaire on the phone while the service took place. I recall, also, passing services with a coloring book and crayons, toys, and such to keep me occupied. The difference? I was a child with the crayons and toys, an adult with the cell phone. And I wasn't the only one doing it. I could look around the room and see many others with their cell phones in hand.
Today it might be assumed that they are reading Bible apps but that wasn't the case in the days when I did it. Back then flip phones were as fancy as phones got and Bibles still came in paper form.
Now, all that said. I have no problems with an adult sitting through a 'church' service tuned into a video game on their cell phone rather than the sermon being given. They are probably better served to ignore whatever nonsense the preacher is feeding them. I do see the rudeness in it and I would not do it today but I have enough Scripture straight from the source to be able to discern the nonsense, or at least most of it, coming from the preacher.
Here lately I have been given the chance to observe some of the 'church' goers in action. Neighbors getting dressed up and heading out on a Sunday morning. Parking lots packed to the brim as I made use of the time to run to the grocery store while the crowds were thinned out a bit. I've observed people that are Sunday 'Christians' only. People that put on a show for me, trying to be what they think I want them to be (when all I want them to be is themselves with a filter on their vocabulary while I am around). I have also observed people that are much, much deeper into religion.
I crossed paths with a woman I assume was Islamic. Her style of clothing said she wore her religion as a form of outward works. I have seen pictures of a family that is Jewish, their male family members wearing a symbol of their faith.
It's kind of amazing to see the differing ways people go about living out whatever faith they have. I have one relative that so far as I know does not believe in anything, another that believes aliens played a role in the history of earth and people. Other relatives that believe Christianity means 'Church' although they work that out in differing ways.
And here I sit. Every Sunday morning. While the crowds file into their 'Christian' entertainment and I sit at home with my family.
My husband and I spoke of that recently. I told him our neighbors probably believe us to be heathens because on Sunday mornings as they drive off to 'Church' in their best clothes, we can be seen in our yard or taking walks down the road, wearing comfortable clothes that are usually less than our best and often include pajama pants and tshirts.
Oh, what must the neighbors think of us?
While they head out to 'God's house', to 'go see Jesus' and to learn Bible stories we are wallowing at home refusing every invitation they give us to go to 'church' with them.
It's not that I would never go to a 'church' service. I do. Occasionally. Once in a while. Sometimes. Okay, rarely. But I do go. I would go if the right reason came along. There are places I would not step foot inside of, places where sin is blatantly lived out and flaunted for all to see. Places like that would take a mighty powerful reason to get me through the doors. Something like discovering my child was inside is about the only reason I would enter such a place. My mother's heart would do anything for my children, including walking into a house of sin that made my heart hurt, seared my conscious, and made me want to close my eyes and ears to all that is around me.
It's sad to say but that's almost what it would take to get me into a 'church' too. Promoted as houses of God and 'holy ground' they are little more than religious playgrounds where emotions are fed and people are herded into a mindset of lies and half truths centered around Christ.
There is a blog that I have read bits of, here and there, that has had an ongoing discussion about a very popular preacher and evangelist the last few months. I had little interest in this man before his death and even less interest in him now that he is gone. To put it plain and simple this man lived out his life, giving a gospel that was twisted to millions of people. I had no desire to listen to him even when I was not regenerate, even when I still played 'church' and I have no desire to listen to him or debate the good or bad of his teachings now.
But this ongoing debate about a man that is long gone is, and has been, taking place on a reformed site among people I would consider to be reformed. There is much scorn for this man because he supposedly led people to hell.
Really?
How?
Can men in their fallable state truly lead anyone to hell? Can a satanist lead a Christian into satanic beliefs by sharing their religion? Can Islam influence a born again Christian into the Islamic faith? Can... well, you get the idea.
How then, could this man, this fallible, human, misguided man, lead anyone to hell? Do the Scriptures not teach that 'all that the Father gives me will come to me and NO ONE will snatch them out of my hand"?
I would never, ever, promote this evangelist or his teachings but he did teach Christ. The Christ he taught was a bit off from the Christ of Scripture but it was close enough to say this man gave the Gospel to millions of people. He planted seeds. Sure, they might have been what we would call seconds or culls. They may have been misshapped, deformed, even half missing, seeds but they were seeds and the Lord could, and I am certain did, use those seeds to draw His people.
I am a perfect example of being drawn out of 'Churchianity' and into Biblical Christianity. I grew up in 'church' to the point that I thought our 'church' was the only way to go. I was taught that Baptists were right and all other denominations were wrong. I cannot even remember a time when I understood, as a child, that not being a 'christian' was an option, despite the fact that my grandpa denounced there was a God until the final months of his life. As I understood it, if a person went to 'church' they were a 'christian'. Simple. Easy. Done.
Except...
No.
Not done.
Done was the finished work of Christ on the cross. Done was when my Lord and Savior said 'it is finished" and died to take my place-
MY place
in a punishment for sins I have knowingly and unknowingly committed since the moment I was conceived.
There is much of being a Christian that I do not know. Much I don't understand. Much I will never understand.
Just recently I read something about Scripture that made me literally stop in my tracks and ponder what I was reading. It was about wisdom and knowledge. There is much to be said about both of those within Scripture so I'm not going to give a specific verse. Honestly, I can't give a specific verse for the one I was seeing referred to because I don't remember what it was. What I do remember is the reference that wisdom is Scripture, it's the understanding of Scripture and the learning of our world in relation to Scripture, whereas knowledge is worldly learning. Wisdom leads to life, knowledge to death.
I have no doubts that I have read on that before. I already knew that. It wasn't some new revelation but on that day it hit me as a new revelation.
There has been much talk of Scripture and the Christian life at my house lately. A couple of months ago I was asked why anyone needs to believe in anything, meaning God or a supposed equivalent. That question has been the topic of numerous discussion between my husband and myself. I also have been writing letters with a dear friend whose beliefs differ from ours in many ways. That, those letters, questions and discussions being sent back and forth between this friend and myself, and our differing beliefs have brought on many discussions with my husband also.
I won't go into what all has been discussed because, quite honestly, I could not if I wanted to. There has been too many discussions for me to be able to recount them. But all these discussions, talks on why someone needs to believe in anything, whether or not I believe the world is flat (I do not), on how a Christian should act or behave...
And in the midst of all of that I stumble across things like wisdom=Scripture, knowledge=world=death. And then there are the discussions that lead around to things like how I was drawn to simpler, less worldly views of Christianity as a kid, how I was drawn to 'church' even when I was young, even when my family did not go. How I used to marvel at my friend who was made to read a chapter of her Bible every day, and two (or was it five) on Sundays and why I wasn't made to do that. I wanted to be made to read my Bible, so much so that I tried to make myself read my Bible every day like my friend had to do but my ten year old mind just could not stick with a daily reading of a King James Bible, the only version I had access to or new existed. My husband has stories of his own about being drawn to Christ in a childhood that had little of Christ and almost no 'church' influence.
At six years old he was given the simplest of Gospels.
Believe in Christ or go to hell.
There it was, stated to him, plain as day and in a simple form guarenteed to terrify any child that has even the vaguest understanding of hell. I must admit I have given that same simplified Gospel to several people since hearing my husband's tale of the effect it had on him. Why bother getting any more detailed than that. Here it is. Simple. Easy. Basic.
And yet...
In the midst of all this Bible study, discussion, pondering, etc. I have found myself in the midst of some kind of ongoing, ever widening, ever learning, Scripture study that is leading me nowhere and everywhere at once.
I remember the days when Bible study looked something like I want to see what the Bible has to say on...whatever topic. Or when it encompassed me and my Bible sitting somewhere comfy while I read straight through or skipped around reading whatever caught my fancy. More often than not here lately the Lord has been giving me huge Scripture studies through life application on subjects that are not easily put into a single category. My friend asked me in a letter what I thought of a couple of men known as 'church fathers'. To which I had to reply that I knew nothing as I prefer to study Scripture and not men. Not long after that my husband introduced me to a reformed writing on Sanctification (You can find some of it in my last post) and I had to admit it was a subject I knew very little of.
And so I have come to expect that the Lord will lead me on a wild goose chase of Scripture study to show me so much more than I could ever learn in bite sized pieces. Life isn't viewed through short Bible studies but in applying all of Scripture to this earthly life we lead. That's not a new revelation either, just a reminder to myself.
I recall a recent phone call with my out of state sister that had us both appreciating our husbands and their willingness to work and support our families. And I recall a letter from a friend that left me feeling like a failure in my job as a wife and mother when she spoke of loving to clean and having her home spotless when her husband comes home. As I read that letter I looked around my home, at the toys on the floor, the food on the bar, the sand in the corners that never goes away no matter how much I clean, and I felt like a failure. How could my friend keep a spotless house with five kids when I battle toys and sand and all manner of things on a daily basis. Could I battle a bit harder? Yes? Will I? Maybe on some days but not as a general rule. I knew that at almost the same moment I felt like a failure. I reminded myself of my husband who does not have to worry about tracking messes through our home (most of the time anyway) in the course of his working out of our home. Of the children that need not worry about strewing toys through the house or leaving their blanket where it lay. I reminded myself of the grandkids and nieces and nephews that have and do visit and how they tracked sand through my home, dripped swimming pool water on my floors, carried in bugs and lizards from outside, played in flour while they 'cooked' and coated my kitchen in white, smeared playdough through my home, left candy wrappers and half eaten suckers in my bedrooms, and...begged to come back.
I took another look at my messy house that isn't so bad afterall. Yes, there are toys on the floor and sand in the corners. The bread bag is on the bar along with a doll dress and a few work tools. There's a half finished dollhouse on my kitchen table and my kitchen chairs are doing double duty as a baby gate but...it's comforting and it's home. And more important no one need fear making a mess.
Yet, I also see my sometimes messy home and know I could do better. I could scrub my floor instead of walking with my husband. I could deep clean the living room instead of holding babies or building dollhouses. I could throw out the baby swing that takes up space in my small living room for the main reason that it makes a great indoor swing for older kids, every toddler and preschooler that visit love to use it. I could...but I probably won't because home is home and comfort beats spotless any day of the week. We do live here. I don't want a showplace, which is a good thing because my house would never pass as one, all I want is a home where love abides and Christ reigns. Where understanding and freedom are granted to the unregenerate and ideally, where we can all live in peace and love.
I don't think that's so much to ask and so after feeling like a failure, I reevaluated my thoughts and decided I fail daily, as a wife, as a mother, as a human, but more importantly as a Christian, and that that will not change no matter how hard I try.
My home could be compared to my Christian faith, I suppose. My friend says her home is spotless because she values that in her home. My home may or may not be messy at any given moment and more often than not if the kitchen is clean there is a mess in the living room. It's like my life as a fallen woman in the Lord's creation. If I manage to get one thing right, I'm sure to be failing in another area.
I do not struggle with certain sins but fail daily to put the Lord first in every moment of my life. This morning I awoke thinking about how tired I was and how I longed to go back to sleep. I did not think of my Lord or what a blessing this day is. I thought of sleep and the grit behind my eyelids. I wanted to whine for more sleep.
And it's in all those failures and my less than spotless home that makes me see just how human I am and how much I fail. I did not understand half of what I read in that sanctification article my husband shared with me. Not the first time I read it. It's written in older English, in a style of writing that throws me off when I first start reading it. I felt like a failure there too. My husband read it, enjoyed it, and shared it with me so that I might be edified by it. And I struggled to understand half of what I was reading. To give myself credit, I was juggling kids as I was reading it and the second reading I did not struggle with understanding it, but still...I struggled and failed where I felt like I should have understood with ease.
And that struggling reminded me of all the other areas, in life and in Scripture, where I fail or feel like I fail. Our earthly lives are filled with failure. Scripture gives guidelines to the regenerate and the reprobate alike. Some of us naturally live within those guidelines, more or less, some of us can't seem to get within them no matter how much we try. And others fall somewhere in the middle.
Last night I was reminded of a verse that I haven't seen in a while.
There is a way that seems right to a man but its end is the way to death.
Proverbs 14:12 esv
As I read that verse I was reminded of the Sunday 'christians', of the various religious groups, families, and individuals, that strive to live out their beliefs, no matter what they are, in an outwardly way. Some would say they do it out of obedience, some out of a belief that their actions affect their eternal destination, some out of...whatever reasoning they have.
And as I think on that verse and the Sunday 'christians', the Mormans, the...name your religious group here...I am reminded of the saying 'cleanliness is next to godliness'. In a sense, I suppose it is but in reality it isn't the earthly form of cleanliness that gets us next to godliness. It's the inner regeneration and sanctification that accomplishes that and no outward works, be it a clean home, a salvation prayer, a way of living...nothing...will accomplish that except the grace and mercy of the Lord and that is something we can never work ourselves into.
I spoke with my sister just a little while ago and as she so aptly put it only God can give us salvation and take away our sins. In her very own words, "we all deserve hell".
How true that is.
There are those who are clean in their own eyes
but are not washed of their filth. Proverbs 30:12 esv
How many people, if questioned would admit that they deserve hell? And how many people would say they are good inside if asked? How very hard is it for the human mind and heart to see their own sins, to see the evilness of themselves? And how many people try, in one way or another, to measure up through something they do?
If any man ascribes anything of salvation, even the very least thing, to the free will of man, he knows nothing of grace, and he has not learned Jesus Christ rightly. C.H. Spurgeon
After reading those two verses in Proverbs I found myself thinking on how many people believe their way to be the right way. Most people would say their belief is the right one. I firmly believe in my beliefs. How many others would say the same thing? And how many of those say they are right because they 'chose' this or that or because they 'did' such and such?
The Jehovah Witnesses believe their way is right. Yet they follow a Bible that has been altered by men to say what that man believed. The Mormons believe their way is right. The Amish believe their way is right. The Islam believers believe their way is right. Satanists believe their way is right. Pagans...Athiests...Agnostics... you name it, if a person truly believes in something, they believe their way to be the 'right' way.
And yet Scripture says...there is a way that seems right to a man but leads to death.
No comments:
Post a Comment