Hidden idolatry

How easy it is for our hobbies and interests to overtake us. Scripture tells us to have no idols and yet we do, even those of us that are truly born again. We may feel like we don’t, think we don’t, believe we don’t.

But we do.

How many times have you felt like you played second fiddle to a loved one’s interests? How many times has your husband or wife’s interests or hobbies pushed you aside…even without meaning to…and left you feeling as if you’re less important than whatever it is that draws their attention?

How many times have your children felt that way? Does you cell phone or computer take up more of your time than they do?

Even cooking and household chores can become something of an idol. I’ve known many a women that puts great stock in their home. They decorate it, rearrange it, buy more things to make it look better, move this here and that there just to get a better effect. I’ve been in many a home where I felt as if I touched something I’d soil it.

Is that not an idol?

What do the families of women like that feel about their home? About their mother’s love for their home?

I have a relative that loves to cook. She’ll often start cooking lunch as soon as breakfast is finished. She makes huge meals. So much so that eating at her home is like eating at a buffet style restaurant. She’s a very good cook and I’ve never heard anyone say a word of complaint about the meals she prepares. And plenty partake of those meals. As the meal she’s cooking nears the ready point she picks up the phone and calls all her grown children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren and tells them it’s done.

Now we’re not talking about family that lives in her home or even down the road. A few are that close, others live across town or even in another town. They have their own homes and families but she calls them and when she does some combination of them comes to eat.

This relative spends hours and hours preparing meals. She does it when she’s the only one home and she does it when she has company in from out of state. It seems to be something she does for her own enjoyment but it also appears to be her way of taking care of her family, even when they need to be taking care of themselves and their own families.

But there comes a point that this interest…this hobby…this method of caring for the family crosses from simply feeding her family into something else. Call it obsession, call it a hobby, call it therapy…call it idolatry.

Here’s the thing, this same relative doesn’t allow anyone else to cook in her home, will…to a degree…allow someone else to do the dishes. She uses so much time preparing the meals that feed her family’s bodies but much less time feeding their need for time spent with her.

I’ve been the out of state relative in her home and I can tell you that as appreciative as I was for the meals she made…there were many times I’d have rather ate cold cereal or sandwiches and had more time with her.

How many times do those we love the most feel that way about the things we do?

How much more so does our Lord feel that way?

My children have told me on numerous occasions ‘you’re always doing _________’. Now it doesn’t seem to matter what I happen to be doing. If I’m spending quite a bit of time with one child for a certain reason, the others have that feeling…whether they voice it or not. If I’m spending more time with my husband, if I’m having to check my email more often, if I’m writing more blogs, even if I’m doing a lot of laundry. Their hearts seem to grab onto the thought and feeling that I’m putting something else ahead of them if I do anything that takes up my time. And the sad truth is that is often the case. Not because I want anything to take more time than my family but because it really doesn’t matter what we do if it takes our time, it takes us from our loved ones.

I can sit beside my husband or children but if I’m focusing on something I’m writing, reading, or doing…I’m not focusing on them. I can claim to be spending time with my children at the park but the reality is if I’m sitting on a bench while they play…how much of my attention are they getting? Just because I’m there…in their presence…doesn’t mean I’m focused on them.

I had to take one of my daughters to the emergency room a while back. It was late at night and this daughter, while uncomfortable, wasn’t in dire need of my attention. In fact she wound up sleeping through a good part of the emergency room visit. There were many an hour during that visit that I sat there either thinking or reading and not giving my total focus to that daughter. Now, she didn’t need my total focus but the reality is that since my attention was on other things through part of that…it wasn’t on her.

The same holds true for my Lord. If my total attention isn’t on Him then whatever I happen to be doing is causing me to break that first and most important commandment.

My husband works to provide for us. He puts in lots of long, hard, hours to do that. That work takes him away from me in more ways than one. It takes him away when he’s working away from home and it takes him away when he’s working at home. But it also takes him away from me when he’s thinking about work or when he’s so tired from all the work he does.

Working is something he has to do, and he does it for us, but it’s still something that takes him away from me. I know that. I can rationalize it. I can understand the reasons. But there are still times when I feel like I want to say…can’t you just set it aside for a while?

How many times does our Lord think that of the things that are in our lives? How many times are we ‘always doing __________’ instead of focusing on Him like we should?

It is impossible to keep the number one commandment. As fallen people we simply can’t love the Lord with all our hearts, souls, and minds all of the time. We just can’t do it. Thoughts and emotions come into play, worries about our earthly life come into play, we think of what we want to do, what we need to do, what we should be doing, and every one of those thoughts removes the Lord from our complete focus.

I know someone that is almost always talking of how busy they are, how much they have to do, how much they are doing, how much they will be doing. This person seems to keep so busy that I wonder if they aren’t running circles around themselves…and for what? I’m sure some of the things this person does are necessary, but I’m equally certain that a good part of what they’re doing isn’t.

I homeschool my children. In the homeschool world the world twaddle is used to describe any kind of school work that serves the purpose of keeping the child busy rather than any real purpose in teaching them something. It’s the things that are used to fill up space but serve no real function beyond that. Public schools use this method a lot.

How much of what we do would the Lord consider twaddle? 

How much of it hurts our families? How much of it takes us away from them even if we’re in their presence? Do the people we love most feel as if we love our hobbies and interests more? Do they feel like we’d rather be doing that than spending time with them? Do we turn to the things that give us peace, that ease our minds, that help with our own pains, when our loved ones hurt and need us most?

People with addictions will say they aren’t addicted. They say they can quit when they want. They rationalize what they’re doing by saying it doesn’t hurt anyone, or that they only do it for fun, or for relaxation…or whatever. But it does hurt those closest to them.

How many of our interests fall into the same category? How many people are addicted to the things they enjoy? How many of those interests wind up hurting those that they love the most?

And how much more does our Lord…a jealous God…get set aside for the things that draw our attention?

If our loved ones feel we turn more to our interests than we do to them, if they feel set aside, pushed aside, or ignored for our interests…how much more so does our Lord feel when our hearts and thoughts are taken from Him?