What was it like for Paul?

Paul wrote most of the books in the New Testament. He didn’t walk the earth with Christ but he had an encounter with him. His teaching was vital to the growth of the church, to getting the message to God’s people.

But he didn’t start out that way.

9 But Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest ² and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.

Not only wasn’t Paul…then called Saul…not a Christian but he was against Christians. He was out to get as many as he could and was willing to travel to do so. He even asked to be sent out so that if he found any Christians along the way he could bring them bound to Jerusalem.

Why?

What was so offensive about Christians that Paul was breathing threats and murder? Paul was clearly evil. He had a hatred for Christians in his heart and was willing to do what it took to get rid of them.

What had caused him to have such a hatred of them? Was it his upbringing? His family beliefs? His education? Society? Where and when did he develop such hatred for Christians? What kind of man was he? When he wasn’t arresting Christians who was he? Was he loud and boastful of his conquests? Was he filled with anger? Did the evil that he had done eat at him even if he wouldn’t acknowledge it? What kind of man was he?

Whatever kind of man he was, whatever his personality, the Lord was about to change him.

³ Now as he went on his way, he approached Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven shone around him.

Imagine going down the road and all of a sudden being surrounded by a light. What did Paul think as it surrounded him? Was he afraid? Astounded? Amazed? What kind of light was it? Did it bring warmth with it as the sun does or was it just a bright light? The only answer we have lies in Paul’s reaction…

⁴ And falling to the ground…

Why did he fall to the ground? Was the light so bright that he was blinded by it? We know that when he got up he was unable to see…

Saul rose from the ground, and although his eyes were opened, he saw nothing.

But was he blinded by the light? Was he so shocked at the light that surrounded him that he fell to the ground? Was the light so hot that he sought to escape it? What about the light made him fall to the ground?

And what did he think when…

 he heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?”

There, surrounded by light, Paul heard the voice of the Lord. Did it send fear through him? He knew what he had been doing. Was he afraid that the Lord was retaliating? Did he know the fear of God in that moment? What did he think, feel, as he lay/sat on the ground surrounded by light? How long did it take him for form his answer?

⁵ And he said, “Who are you, Lord?”

Did he realize as he voiced the question that he had answered himself? Who are you, Lord. He knew to whom he was speaking even as he asked. Did he have some belief in Christ already to have called Him Lord?

And he said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.

Was he shocked that Jesus said he was persecuting Him and not the Christians he had been targeting? What thoughts and feelings went through him as he was accused of persecuting Christ? Had he adjusted to that accusation before he was told what to do?

⁶ But rise and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.”

Did he fear what was to come when he got into the city? Was he afraid that he was about to be stoned or killed in some horrid way? Did he fear being imprisoned? Did he hesitate to do as he was told or did he quickly scramble to his feet?

⁸ Saul rose from the ground, and although his eyes were opened, he saw nothing.

Did he panic when he realized he was blind? Did he cry out ‘I can’t see’? Did he wave his arms around and try to get his bearings. Or did he stand in fear, frozen in place, silent?

So they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus.

How did he feel being led around like a small child, unable to see? He had so recently been a soldier, a warrior, hunting down Christians, arresting them, taking them in, and here he was unable to walk by himself. Had he been prideful before? Was he humbled then? Was he humiliated? Was he angry and bitter? Quiet?

⁹ And for three days he was without sight, and neither ate nor drank.

Did he fear in those three days that he would never see again? Was he worried and stressed, his stomach tied in knots so that he couldn’t eat or drink? Did he stop eating and drinking as a way to fast? Was he so filled with shame, remorse, hurt, that he simply couldn’t eat for the disgust of what he had done? Or did he give up? Did he decide that if he couldn’t see, if he couldn’t be the man he was, that he didn’t want to go on?

Years ago I read a book where one of the men in it had been injured and paralyzed in an accident while working far from home. He was engaged to be married. The accident happened before the book started so when I came into the story it had already taken place. His fiancé rushed to him when she found out that he had been hurt. Upon her arrival she found him wounded but very much alive. Her worry turned to gratitude to discover the man she loved, the man she wanted to spend her life with, was still alive. That was her thoughts and feelings as she entered his hospital room.

His reaction to seeing her was completely different. He got angry, ended their engagement and sent her away. Because of his injuries he felt that he wasn’t the man he had been, felt that he couldn’t be a proper husband to her.

Did Paul react that way? Did he get angry and resentful? Did he feel that he wasn’t the man he had been and if he had to go through life without sight that he’d rather not live? Was that why he quit eating and drinking?

What was it like in those dark days? When he didn’t know what his future was, when he was dependent on others, what did he think and feel? Was his spirit broken? Did his heart hurt? Was he afraid? Angry?

What was it like for Paul?

…look for a man of Tarsus named Saul, for behold, he is praying,

In those dark days Paul turned to prayer. Was he crying out to God for forgiveness? For healing? In anguish did he beg God to save him?

What did Paul think when someone’s hands touched him? Was he afraid of what was to come? Did he hope his anguish was almost over? Did he dread what was to come? Or did he think…let’s get it over with?

¹⁷ So Ananias departed and entered the house. And laying his hands on him he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus who appeared to you on the road by which you came has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”

Was Paul happy to hear those words? Was he excited at the thought of seeing again? Was he glad to know the Lord didn’t intend harm for him?

 ¹⁸ And immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight.

How happy was he to be able to see again? Did he understand the changes that were happening to him? Did he welcome the Holy Spirit?

What was it like for Paul to go through such a huge change in his beliefs? Did he fear what others would do to him? Did he look forward to the task he was given?

What was it like for Paul?

 

The mysterious treasure

I well remember the day the Scriptures came alive for me like they never had before. I remember how fascinated I was to just turn the pages of the Bible and read it at random…just to see if I could see in all of the Scriptures what I had seen in some. And how amazed I was that I could.

I felt that I had been allowed to know a secret that had been there all along but I hadn’t been told until that moment. And I was mesmerized.

My husband says I fell in love with the Scriptures.

Maybe I did. There was just something so…amazing in them that captivated me. There is still something amazing in them. There are verses in the Bible that tell of the mystery being revealed. That was how I felt, like the mystery had been revealed.

Assuming that you have heard of the stewardship of God's grace that was given to me for you, how the mystery was made known to me by revelation, as I have written briefly. When you read this, you can perceive my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to the sons of men in other generations as it has now been revealed to his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit. This mystery is that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel. Ephesians 3:2-6 esv

That verse alone says so much about the mystery. How it was given to Paul through revelation. How it was kept for those that would be allowed to know it. I have found it fascinating to read ‘which was not made known to the sons of men in other generations.’ It was a secret that was kept for those the Lord wanted to reveal it to.

When I think of the world, of all the people in the world, for all time…and how the secret is revealed to those that receive the ability to understand the mystery. How amazing is that?! It’s like being handed a box that holds a secret so great that we can’t fathom it all. And we can’t share it because the secret doesn’t exist except for those that are given the same secret.

And in some ways that is exactly what happens. We are the ‘box’ in which the secret has been placed. We are the ‘box’ that has been entrusted with the mystery. Those of us that are in Christ are not only handed the key to unlock the mystery but the very secret that is kept for those that have been entrusted with it are the key to the ‘box’. They are the ‘box’. We hold within us a secret so great that it has been kept and handed down through all of eternity, from the very creation of the world, so that it will be preserved and passed on to those that are yet to come that will also be the keepers of the secret.

What would you do if someone handed you a box and told you it held the mystery of the world in it? Provided you understood that the box truly held those mysteries and you believed it with everything in you…what would you do with that box? How gently would you handle it? How long would you study the box? How would you transport it? How would you store it? To what lengths would you go to protect it?

I wrote a post a while ago titled ‘how far would you go’. In it I asked how far you would go to see to it that those you love knew the truth. Now I ask how far would you go to protect the secret…the mystery…if it was handed into your care?

How special would you feel to know that out of all the world you had been chosen to protect the mystery and carry on the secret?

Imagine holding that box in your hands and knowing it contained the most powerful thing in the world…and that it explained everything there is about the world…imagine knowing you were responsible for that box.

Several months ago my sister told me about a television program she watched where they speculated on whether the Ark of the Covenant could have been radioactive…nuclear even…because of what happened to anyone that touched it. She said that in the program they said most if not all of the consequences for touching it could be explained by nuclear power. At the time I found it interesting and even thought of Moses. How he glowed after encountering God.

the people of Israel would see the face of Moses, that the skin of Moses’ face was shining. And Moses would put the veil over his face again, until he went in to speak with him. Exodus 34:35 esv

That, too, I would think could easily be explained through some sort of nuclear power. As could the verses about the burning bush…

And the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed. ³ And Moses said, “I will turn aside to see this great sight, why the bush is not burned.” ⁴ When the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush, “Moses, Moses!” And he said, “Here I am.” ⁵ Then he said, “Do not come near; take your sandals off your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground.” ⁶ And he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God. Exodus 3:2-6

As I was listening to my sister talk of the possibility that the Ark of the Covenant may have been nuclear I found the topic interesting but also had no need to know or even speculate on whether or not it was. I know what or rather Who caused the consequences for touching the Ark of the Covenant. What method He may have used to bring about those consequences isn’t something I feel the need to know. Not that we can ever know.

But as I write this I am reminded of that conversation. What would you do if you were handed a box and told that it is the mystery of all of life but that its nuclear and you must handle it exactly this way.

I am reminded, too, of a program my children like to watch. It’s set in the 1800’s and in one episode the men take a job transporting liquid nitrogen. Oh, the care they take with those glass bottles after being told that jostling can make them explode.

How careful would you be if you held in your hands a box containing a nuclear mystery that would explode if you handle it the wrong way? How afraid of that mystery would you be? How careful would you be to handle it just the right way?

The mystery spoken of in Scripture isn’t nuclear, it won’t explode if you drop it, but it’s no less powerful.

And it’s been entrusted to a select set of people.

And he answered them, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. Matthew 13:11 esv

            Not everyone can see or understand the mystery. It’s a secret. It’s big…huge even. It’s profound. It’s unlike anything else you will ever encounter. And if you’re truly in Christ…you hold the key to the mystery. You have been told the secret.

            It is a treasure that has been entrusted to a select set of people. Scripture even tells us who they are…

even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love ⁵ he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, Ephesians 1:4-5 esv

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, Ephesians 1:11

            Now do you see the treasure you hold? Not only have those that were entrusted with the secret been told the mystery but they were chosen…hand picked by the Lord…to know that mystery. And He didn’t just look down on all the people in the world today and select those He would give the secret to…He chose who would know the secret before the earth was made.

            Before He created anything…He thought of His people…the one’s that would be entrusted with the secret. He knew their names before He formed the earth.

            Imagine that box again. Here it is…in your hands. You hold it. Just after being handed the box…before you knew it was nuclear…you held it in your hands amazed at the mystery you were entrusted with. Then you learn its nuclear and if you mishandle it, it will explode. Now you’re afraid of it.

What are you supposed to do with it?

When it was simply…if you can call it simple at all…the mystery of the world it was amazing but now you know. You know it comes with great power. And you now hold that power in your hands.

What…

Are you...

 Supposed…

 to do with…

IT?

I ask again…how would you handle it? How would you treat it? This powerful mystery you have now been entrusted with, that you were chosen before time to be entrusted with…is now in your hands.

And it’s a treasure beyond comprehension. It’s worth more than gold, more than all the money in the world. There is nothing on earth worth as much.

And you have it.

It was hidden ‘through the ages’ and has now been revealed to you.

… the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.  Colossians 1:26-27 esv

Now to him who is able to strengthen you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery that was kept secret for long ages Romans 16:25 esv

            And only those that have been chosen to know the secret can understand the mystery.

And he said to them, “To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables,  Mark 4:11 esv

            This mystery…is understandable only by those that were chosen to know it…only those that it was given to.

And not only were you chosen to know the mystery…you were prepared to know it.

But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” 1 Corinthians 2:9 esv

            Why were you prepared for this mystery? Why were you chosen before all of creation to be handed this mystery? What did you do to earn such a treasure?

            For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰ For we are his workmanship… Ephesians 2:8-10 esv

            You did nothing to earn the treasure. You weren’t even given a map to find it. You were simply handed the treasure as a gift.

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! 2 Corinthians 9:15 NIV

            Everyone knows that finding a true treasure requires a map…a treasure map. It’s the stuff stories and legends are made of. They are the object of many childhood fantasies. But the treasure you hold came with no map and…if there was no map to get you here…how do you now hold the treasure?

…these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit... So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. 1 Corinthians 2:9-16 esv

            You weren’t given a map…you were simply handed the treasure. Nothing you did, will do, or could do would have ever lead you to such a treasure as this. And if you had somehow managed to find the treasure on your own…which Scripture tells us is impossible…you would never have understood it.

            And still the question remains…how? How did I get here? How did I acquire such a wonderful treasure?

No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day. John 6:44 esv

            You were drawn here…dragged here, as the Greek translation says. It was not you that got yourself here but the Lord who prepared you for the secret He chose to impart to you. his preparation was so complete that he began to prepare you for it long before you were born. He chose your parents, your grandparents. He put those people in place and prepared the way for your birth. He chose where you would live, who your friends would be. He set you in the life He wanted you in at every stage. He went ahead of you and cleared the path He wanted you on, placed the people He wanted you to meet on that path, and set your feet in the direction He wanted you to go.

            Whether we wanted to go that way or not…we were made to go the way He wanted us to.

But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. 2 Corinthians 2:14 niv

            You were a captive of Christ that was set on a path before the creation of the world. Your course was set long before there was a path to follow. The treasure was yours when you…weren’t. It was yours…held in trust…long before you were born, before you were conceived.

            Why were you given the treasure?

            …I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. Exodus 33:19 esv

for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13 esv

            You were given the treasure…they mystery…given the secret…because it was the Lord’s good pleasure to give it to you. He chose you to be the recipient of his mercy.

All who are in Christ were given the secret of this great mystery. They were chosen to be the recipients of the mysterious treasure.

Oh, what a gift we have been given.

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not a Christian

Years ago I came to the conclusion that if 'they' were Christians than I wasn't. Who were the 'they' that came to mind as I said and thought that? All the professing Christians that seem to wear Christ like most people were dress shoes. The one's that put Him on when it suits their purpose and takes Him off when it doesn't. 

When I came to the conclusion that we couldn't both be Christians I had no idea what the true difference was but I could clearly see a difference. And those differences were obvious. These were people that I had always been taught were 'Christians', whether I knew them or they were strangers I crossed paths with made no difference. The reality was that either they were 'Christians' or I was. We were simply too different. Saying we were both Christians would be like saying the sky is blue and brown. It can't be both ways. Either they were. Or I was. 

And so I began to think 'if they're Christians, then I'm not' and I no longer thought of myself as a 'Christian'. Today I know the truth of that situation. I know they are professing Christians. I know that I am a Christian by Biblical definition.

But what if I had never discovered the difference? What if I still believed that I can't be a Christian because the 'Christian' label that 'they' wear is what being a 'Christian' looks like? 

Aparently that is exactly what is happening to some people. They still believe they aren't Christians because so many people wear the title who don't fit the description.

Last night I was on the phone with my sister our discussion was of a Biblical/Christian nature about prayer and why God does or does not answer it. I told her that people that expect the Lord to answer their prayers in the exact way they want them answered and who expect Him to answer them right this minute forget...or just don't know...a couple of things. First thing they forget that they are the creation and have no right to demand anything of the Lord, that they are told by Christ himself to pray 'Your will be done', and that just because they want something doesn't mean that it fits in with the Lord's will for their life or the life of the person they're praying for. And then I told her that those same people think 'God' is just sitting by idly waiting for them to decide to ask him for something. They think that they can live life on their terms, wrapped up in their own selfish desires, and then go running to 'God' when they want something. They think that He listens to them when they pray despite the fact that they live their lives chasing sin instead of Christ.

But those same people also claim that they are 'Christians' and it makes those of us that are Christians not want to claim the label despite the fact that we are the one's that can claim it.

The trouble with true Christians giving up the claim of being a Christian is that Scripture defines who are to be considered Christians...

26 and when he had found him, he brought him to Antioch. And for an entire year they [a]met with the church and taught considerable [b]numbers; and the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch. Acts 11:26 nasb

And it isn't the people that want to chase sin and live for the world then claim to be a 'Christian' because it soothes the place inside them that doesn't want to admit that heaven is reserved for true Christians. And so they go on believing...pretending...to be 'Christians' when in fact they are fakes.

A true Christian is someone that has been converted, given a new heart, that repents of their sins and would give their very lives for their beliefs.

How many professing 'Christians' do any of that?  

Around the world there are Christians that die not because they claim to be a 'Christian' but because they can't be anything but a Christian.

I just read where many so-called preachers are now using the term Christ follower. They ask people if they are 'christ followers' making some kind of distinction between following Christ and being a Christian. Trouble is...the so-called preachers listed in that article are men I would say are heretics. They preach a false gospel. And then they want to label what they are doing as being a Christ follower.

How long until the true Christians begin to wonder if they can claim to follow Christ...for fear of being lumped in with the heretics that say that's what they are? How long before the word believer can no longer be used by a true Christian because 'they' have taken it over so completely that it is no longer recognizable?

How long?

On the surface it would seem like this isn't all that big of a deal but it is. It's a huge deal. It's big because those people...like I used to be...that know their faith is different but don't know why or how find themselves in a position where they don't want to claim the title given to them in the Bible. But it's a much bigger deal than even that.

You see there are those that claim that you can be a 'Christian' by believing in any way and then you get to wear the label, put on the name brand of Jesus, and call yourself a 'Christian'. Not only that, but you get a lifetime shopping spree to the store of 'Jesus' where you can get as much of the label as you want, or as little, and wear it when the desire suits you. And it comes with the bonus of spending eternity in heaven.

I'm sad to say that a good number of those 'Christians' will be looking at a 'heaven' filled with fire and torment. There will be no paradise in their 'heaven'.

Christmas is coming

Christmas is coming. Christmas is coming. Christmas is coming.

If I repeat that long enough, and often enough, maybe…just maybe…I’ll be ready for it. It’s not that I’m not looking forward to the holiday. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it.

I do.

In fact Christmas is my favorite holiday. No matter how much or how little I celebrate there is something about the lights and the sights at Christmas that no other holiday has.

But with Christmas coming my mind turns to the greed it instills in people. The greed that manifests in everyone.

Every time someone asks ‘what do you want for Christmas’ they’re asking ‘how can I feed your covetousness.’ I’m as guilty of that as the next person. I ask my children that very question every year. And then I try and buy the very things that will feed the greedy covetous monster in my children.

And I do it because I want them to be happy. I want them to enjoy the holiday. I want them to receive gifts they will love. I want to see the smiles on their faces, the light in their eyes. And I don’t want to see disappointment.

But it always shows up.

Invariably, every year, the disappointment is there. Someone didn’t get something they wanted. Someone else got something that this one wishes they had got. This toy broke as soon as it came out of the box. This game isn’t as fun as they thought it would be.

There will be something to cause disappointment no matter how much or how little we buy them.

Scripture tells us that we are to deny ourselves and live for Christ.

Have we ever asked ourselves what…exactly…Christ would give someone for Christmas if He was on earth?

Christians are to deny themselves and it would seem that we do that very thing as we use our money or our time to acquire the things our loved ones desire for Christmas…but are we really denying ourselves? Or are we catering to the place inside of us that wants to see our loved ones happy?

And even if we are denying ourselves what are we doing to the hearts of those we love the most?

I remember many a Christmas when presents overflowed our living room. When the kids received everything they wanted and then some.

And still there was someone that wasn’t happy over something.

As the greed of their own desires was fed to the point of bursting there was always something that wasn’t bought. Something that wasn’t good enough.

Handing them money isn’t any better because all we’re doing is feeding the covetousness with dollars instead of things.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t give our loved ones gifts. That is a decision every Christian must make for themselves, for their families.

But maybe we should weigh our own beliefs against the covetousness we’re buying into every time Christmas is coming. Should we spend hundreds on our children when a smaller amount…less presents…could be pared with something that feeds their hearts instead? What if we decreased what we gave them in things…or money…and increased what we gave them in time?

Could we turn off the televisions, set aside the phones and other gadgets, and spend the day walking in the woods, playing games, and focusing all of our attention on each other?

Could we feed their hearts and our souls by denying ourselves…including the need to deny ourselves the joy of making our loved ones happy with all the things or money that they want…and instead feed them with the things that don’t promote the very covetousness we know is sin?

Could we invest more of ourselves and less of our finances?

What are we giving them for Christmas?

Christmas will be upon us soon. Already the decorations are in the stores, the lights are going up, the music has begun. And so has the shopping and the many holiday get-togethers, the gift exchanges, and the expectations.

Christmas doesn’t come with the simple pleasures that should surround any celebration of Christ. And although Christmas didn’t originate as a celebration of Christ…it has it’s roots in paganism, and although what we know as Christmas today looks more like the pagan celebration it should be…the fact is that our society generally defines Christmas as the celebration of the birth of Christ.

You can see that in the ‘church’ buildings that go to great extremes to put on plays and programs, you can see it in the nativity scenes put up in a very few yards, and you can see it in the outcry of people that no longer want to be wished a Merry Christmas.

And I have to ask…what are we giving them for Christmas?

As we go into this holiday that is more about covetousness than it is about Christ…even in the ‘church’ buildings (how much money do they spend on those special Christmas programs?)…maybe we should look more to the Scriptures and less to the world.

If we looked at the closest thing we have of a celebration of the birth of Christ we see the wise men that went to great lengths to see Christ. The lengths to which they went to see their savior was no small feat.

Can you imagine what it must have been like for them to travel to Christ? They didn’t have a car, an airplane, or a train. They couldn’t get there in a short time. They didn’t have the comfort of a heated vehicle to travel in. Whatever the weather was as they made their trip…they were exposed to it. Day and night, hot or cold, wind or rain…they were in it.

What did it cost them in time and discomfort to go see their savior?  How many miles did they have to travel? How weary did they grow as they made their way to their savior? What did they give up to make the trip? What discomforts did they suffer?

 Can we even begin to fathom the time they must have put into making the trip? We are so used to being able to get from place to place in short time. We can go from one country to another in a matter of hours. We can cross the United States in hours by plane, days by car. We can’t imagine the time it would have taken them to make such a journey.

And yet these men put themselves through all that and more for Christ.

And they set an example for anyone that happened to look their way. They showed us through their actions just how far they went for Christ.

As we go into this holiday season where the ‘I wants’ abound, where we are too tempted to spend too much money on those we love, where our focus so often goes to the many celebrations we can be a part of and to the too many we may be expected to be a part of, we would do well to remember the wise men and the example they set.

As our thoughts turn to the celebration of the world, as we work through the needs of the flesh…our own and our loved ones…how much better would we be if we simply focused on Christ?

And if we could remember to ask ourselves…what are we giving them for Christmas?

It is so easy to cater to their coveting hearts and make smiles appear on those beloved faces. It makes us happy, makes them happy. But what are we really giving them? As we hand them all that they want…in things or in money…what are we really giving? Are we not deepening their ‘I wants’ with the overabundance of stuff and money we provide?

What if every time we looked at or heard a list of ‘I wants’ we could remember that self-denial is a good thing? What if every time we stood in a store with the intention of buying gifts we remembered what feeding their covetousness is…what it does? What if everyone that makes a list of ‘I wants’ thought of self-denial first? What if we remembered that more isn’t better for those we love? What if we remember that those happy faces on Christmas morning are representations of selfish hearts being satisfied with the many things that fill the packages our loved ones open?

What if we invested more into the souls of those we love and less into their earthly desires? What example do we set for them when we fill their toy chests with more and more? What example do we set when we hand them money so they can invest in their own desires and selfish ambitions?

What are we building in their souls with every toy, every gadget, every new piece of clothing? What are we feeding their souls when we gift them in dollar bills?

Are we feeding their souls as we celebrate this year or are we feeding their covetousness?

What then should we invest in this Christmas season? What example should we set? Is it enough to have no list of ‘I wants’ for ourselves if we fill the ‘I wants’ of our loved ones?

What purpose does another toy, another electronic device, another handful of money serve if it feeds the sin of those we love?

What if we invested more in their hearts and less in their sins? What if we invested more in their memories than we do in their collections? What if instead of handing them packages of things or handfuls of money we invited them to join us for something that feeds their hearts with our love, helps their souls to deny their own wants, and sets the example that someone in Christ should truly set?

What are we giving them for Christmas?

 

Hidden idolatry

How easy it is for our hobbies and interests to overtake us. Scripture tells us to have no idols and yet we do, even those of us that are truly born again. We may feel like we don’t, think we don’t, believe we don’t.

But we do.

How many times have you felt like you played second fiddle to a loved one’s interests? How many times has your husband or wife’s interests or hobbies pushed you aside…even without meaning to…and left you feeling as if you’re less important than whatever it is that draws their attention?

How many times have your children felt that way? Does you cell phone or computer take up more of your time than they do?

Even cooking and household chores can become something of an idol. I’ve known many a women that puts great stock in their home. They decorate it, rearrange it, buy more things to make it look better, move this here and that there just to get a better effect. I’ve been in many a home where I felt as if I touched something I’d soil it.

Is that not an idol?

What do the families of women like that feel about their home? About their mother’s love for their home?

I have a relative that loves to cook. She’ll often start cooking lunch as soon as breakfast is finished. She makes huge meals. So much so that eating at her home is like eating at a buffet style restaurant. She’s a very good cook and I’ve never heard anyone say a word of complaint about the meals she prepares. And plenty partake of those meals. As the meal she’s cooking nears the ready point she picks up the phone and calls all her grown children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren and tells them it’s done.

Now we’re not talking about family that lives in her home or even down the road. A few are that close, others live across town or even in another town. They have their own homes and families but she calls them and when she does some combination of them comes to eat.

This relative spends hours and hours preparing meals. She does it when she’s the only one home and she does it when she has company in from out of state. It seems to be something she does for her own enjoyment but it also appears to be her way of taking care of her family, even when they need to be taking care of themselves and their own families.

But there comes a point that this interest…this hobby…this method of caring for the family crosses from simply feeding her family into something else. Call it obsession, call it a hobby, call it therapy…call it idolatry.

Here’s the thing, this same relative doesn’t allow anyone else to cook in her home, will…to a degree…allow someone else to do the dishes. She uses so much time preparing the meals that feed her family’s bodies but much less time feeding their need for time spent with her.

I’ve been the out of state relative in her home and I can tell you that as appreciative as I was for the meals she made…there were many times I’d have rather ate cold cereal or sandwiches and had more time with her.

How many times do those we love the most feel that way about the things we do?

How much more so does our Lord feel that way?

My children have told me on numerous occasions ‘you’re always doing _________’. Now it doesn’t seem to matter what I happen to be doing. If I’m spending quite a bit of time with one child for a certain reason, the others have that feeling…whether they voice it or not. If I’m spending more time with my husband, if I’m having to check my email more often, if I’m writing more blogs, even if I’m doing a lot of laundry. Their hearts seem to grab onto the thought and feeling that I’m putting something else ahead of them if I do anything that takes up my time. And the sad truth is that is often the case. Not because I want anything to take more time than my family but because it really doesn’t matter what we do if it takes our time, it takes us from our loved ones.

I can sit beside my husband or children but if I’m focusing on something I’m writing, reading, or doing…I’m not focusing on them. I can claim to be spending time with my children at the park but the reality is if I’m sitting on a bench while they play…how much of my attention are they getting? Just because I’m there…in their presence…doesn’t mean I’m focused on them.

I had to take one of my daughters to the emergency room a while back. It was late at night and this daughter, while uncomfortable, wasn’t in dire need of my attention. In fact she wound up sleeping through a good part of the emergency room visit. There were many an hour during that visit that I sat there either thinking or reading and not giving my total focus to that daughter. Now, she didn’t need my total focus but the reality is that since my attention was on other things through part of that…it wasn’t on her.

The same holds true for my Lord. If my total attention isn’t on Him then whatever I happen to be doing is causing me to break that first and most important commandment.

My husband works to provide for us. He puts in lots of long, hard, hours to do that. That work takes him away from me in more ways than one. It takes him away when he’s working away from home and it takes him away when he’s working at home. But it also takes him away from me when he’s thinking about work or when he’s so tired from all the work he does.

Working is something he has to do, and he does it for us, but it’s still something that takes him away from me. I know that. I can rationalize it. I can understand the reasons. But there are still times when I feel like I want to say…can’t you just set it aside for a while?

How many times does our Lord think that of the things that are in our lives? How many times are we ‘always doing __________’ instead of focusing on Him like we should?

It is impossible to keep the number one commandment. As fallen people we simply can’t love the Lord with all our hearts, souls, and minds all of the time. We just can’t do it. Thoughts and emotions come into play, worries about our earthly life come into play, we think of what we want to do, what we need to do, what we should be doing, and every one of those thoughts removes the Lord from our complete focus.

I know someone that is almost always talking of how busy they are, how much they have to do, how much they are doing, how much they will be doing. This person seems to keep so busy that I wonder if they aren’t running circles around themselves…and for what? I’m sure some of the things this person does are necessary, but I’m equally certain that a good part of what they’re doing isn’t.

I homeschool my children. In the homeschool world the world twaddle is used to describe any kind of school work that serves the purpose of keeping the child busy rather than any real purpose in teaching them something. It’s the things that are used to fill up space but serve no real function beyond that. Public schools use this method a lot.

How much of what we do would the Lord consider twaddle? 

How much of it hurts our families? How much of it takes us away from them even if we’re in their presence? Do the people we love most feel as if we love our hobbies and interests more? Do they feel like we’d rather be doing that than spending time with them? Do we turn to the things that give us peace, that ease our minds, that help with our own pains, when our loved ones hurt and need us most?

People with addictions will say they aren’t addicted. They say they can quit when they want. They rationalize what they’re doing by saying it doesn’t hurt anyone, or that they only do it for fun, or for relaxation…or whatever. But it does hurt those closest to them.

How many of our interests fall into the same category? How many people are addicted to the things they enjoy? How many of those interests wind up hurting those that they love the most?

And how much more does our Lord…a jealous God…get set aside for the things that draw our attention?

If our loved ones feel we turn more to our interests than we do to them, if they feel set aside, pushed aside, or ignored for our interests…how much more so does our Lord feel when our hearts and thoughts are taken from Him?

Are you a fatalistic Christian?

I recently found myself in the midst of a conversation that eventually led to the other person asking me if I was a fatalistic Christian. I must admit the question stumped me because I had no idea what the term meant. After some research and a discussion with my husband I found myself before the computer trying to pull my thoughts and beliefs together as I pondered the answer I would give. I wasn’t intending to write out an answer at that time only to get my thoughts in order so that I could answer and in the end what I wrote was a reply.

 

You see…I believe what I see in Scripture…nothing more, nothing less. If what I see in scripture makes me a Christian fatalist then maybe I am but to me I simply believe what I see in Scripture.

 

The question as to whether or not I’m a fatalistic Christian wasn’t a question that came out of the blue. It was part of a bigger conversation (carried out through email) that had been going on for some time, gradually leading up to the point where the question was asked. That question and the conversation it was a part of has made me grow and learn as I wrote out my own answers. My own thoughts have been clarified, my own understanding taken deeper as I explained my position through each step of this conversation.

 

I believe that the very nature of how we approach Scripture affects what we believe and we get out of it. But it isn’t just that…those same beliefs are affecting how we see life and how we live out our faith.

 

In the last year I have done more studying and learning of scripture and the things of scripture than I ever have in my life. My beliefs have grown and changed as I’ve come to better understand my own beliefs. In all that learning I’ve learned that there are two ways to see the basics of God. We have God saving man or we have man working his way to God. And in those two ways of seeing it are two very different beliefs that affect pretty much all of how a person believes. It is what everything else boils down to. It’s the very basics of how we relate to all of Scripture.

 

As I see it…it is God saving us all on His own. There’s nothing we can do, have done, or will ever do that will or could have changed His decision to save us. On the other hand…the other way of approaching Scripture leads to a belief that something a person does places them into the position to attain salvation. That may be through their ‘choice’ to believe in Christ or it may be in their attempt to work their way into salvation in some way. But for me the only way I can see it is to start with God and only God. I can’t do anything but give all the credit to Him and none of the credit to me or anything I’ve ever done or will ever do.

 

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9 NASB)

 

 Either of those above views will affect not only how we believe but it will affect nearly every other thing we do in life. Those are fundamental beliefs that are the base of where so many of our other beliefs come from.

 

When I read Scripture I read it in black and white. As part of the conversation that led to the question about whether or not I’m a fatalistic Christian the topic of Eli came up. It was a rather long conversation that went back and forth for a while. But it was only a part of a much bigger conversation. The entire conversation spanned everything from Eli to marriage and the raising of children.

 

 Here is my response…

 

All I can see in Eli’s story is a man that was a priest…and so had to live an outwardly faithful and obedient life…who raised two son’s that sinned in adulthood. That Eli reprimanded them…possibly out of love…but failed to fulfill the duties of his position as priest and was punished for it. He took in a child that wasn’t his and possibly treated him as his own…shown in him calling Samuel ‘my son’…and in the end raised two son’s that ended up sinning and were destroyed as a result of it and one…almost…son that grew up to be righteous. That is what I see. And if you look to Eli’s story…that’s all that’s there. Nothing else. That is the black and white of Eli in Scripture.

 

If I were to take Eli’s story further I would have to point to Malachi 1:3 and Romans 9:13 where it says Jacob have I loved, Esau I hated. These were two brothers, raised by the same parents, what made the difference here? Why was one loved and the other hated? Did Esau gain the Lord’s hate because his parents failed to walk out an unfeigned faith in front of him? Did Jacob gain the Lord’s love because his parents did walk out an unfeigned faith? They were the same parents. It can’t be both ways…either the parents showed the kind of unfeigned faith you speak of or they didn’t. And yet they raised two sons that did not receive the same treatment from the Lord. One was loved, the other hated. Why? Because of something the parents did? Or maybe because…

 

What shall we say then? There is no injustice with God, is there? May it never be! 15For He says to Moses, "I WILL HAVE MERCY ON WHOM I HAVE MERCY, AND I WILL HAVE COMPASSION ON WHOM I HAVE COMPASSION." 16So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy Romans 9:15-16

 

If you want to look to the old testament…

 

18Then Moses said, "I pray You, show me Your glory!" 19And He said, "I Myself will make all My goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of the LORD before you; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show compassion on whom I will show compassion." Exodus 33:18-19

 

Here, in the black and white of Scripture, I see the Lord loved Jacob and hated Esau because He chose to have mercy on one and not the other. Per Romans 9:16… then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy. There’s no room in that…that I can see…for any actions either of the person being saved or not saved or of the parents. It’s all in the Lord’s hands…I will have mercy on whom I have mercy. Where does the parents actions come into that? Where does even our own actions come into it?

 

From there I look to Romans 9:22-23…

 

What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, ²³ in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory—

 

I see no room in any of that for the outward displays of faith of any person in their salvation or in their children’s salvation. The Lord specifically said…I will have mercy on whom I have mercy. That’s it…all God…all Christ…no man. If that doesn’t spell it out enough I see in Romans 9:22-23 where it says he has prepared some for destruction in order to save those he has prepared for mercy. Again I see God…no man. It’s what He has planned, His design, His decree…nothing of man. Nothing of parents. Just God. 

 

Going back to Eli…we have three sons…three young men raised by the same man. Two were destroyed, one was chosen by God. Why? They were raised by the same person. If the dads unfeigned faith or lack of it was the reason for the sins of the two sons why didn’t the third one follow the same path? He had not only Eli as an example but Eli’s sons as well. Of the three if example was the reason for their destruction Samuel should have been the least likely to be saved. But the two sons were destroyed and Samuel was saved. Again…why? If the answer lies only in Eli’s unfeigned faith or lack of it…what made two wind up destroyed and the third saved?

 

If on the other hand we look at it in the black and white…we know nothing of Eli’s faith one way or the other beyond what we know of what it took to become a priest…and we know nothing of how he raised his children and Samuel and if we look first to God…His plan, His purpose, His decree, His choice…and know that He loved Jacob and hated esau, who had the same parents setting the same example for them and if Scripture tells us…I will have mercy on whom I have mercy…and that there are ‘vessels of wrath prepared for destruction’ and ‘vessels of mercy’…what do we have? Could it possibly be that Eli’s sons were vessels of destruction? If I were to look to Eli’s story again and if I wanted to read anything of great significance into his story it would be…Now Eli’s sons were worthless men. They did not know the Lord. 1 samuel 2:12…the kjv says… Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial; they knew not the Lord. That wasn’t Eli’s failure. If the point of Eli’s story was to show us Eli’s failure as a parent to raise his children to have an ‘unfeigned faith’ would we not be told something like…Eli’s children were worthless because Eli’s faith wasn’t strong enough to point them in the right direction? If the purpose of Eli in the ot was to show us how not to parent our children wouldn’t we see that in the black and white of Scripture? Instead we see the story of the saving of one boy…which placed him into his place in the greater plan of God…and therefore of the salvation of the Elect…than we do of any other thing. We have two sons that were destroyed, one saved. Why?

 

I see vessels of destruction and a vessel of mercy. We know that only Christ was sinless therefore Samuel would have sinned. What made the sins of Eli’s sons any worse than the sins that Samuel committed? Were the sins of Eli’s sons so great that they earned them death while the sins of Samuel didn’t deserve the same? The only way that makes sense to me is to see it through the eyes of the black and white of Scripture…I will have mercy on whom I have mercy…and to see that quite possibly the sons were the vessels of destruction while Samuel was the vessel of mercy.

 

Does that make me a Christian fatalist? I don’t know. I guess it depends on how you see Christian fatalism. I do believe the Lord is sovereign in all, that’s it’s his creation…including people…to do with as he sees fit. I believe he will save His elect and won’t save the non-elect. I believe that there’s nothing we can do to become one of the elect and that there’s nothing we can do to keep from becoming one of the elect.

 

I don’t believe we can work our way to Christ. I don’t believe we can work our children to Christ. I don’t believe that if we just pump enough Scripture into them and set a good enough example we can get them to a place where God will ‘visit their hearts’. In Scripture we are commanded to teach the gospel…this is to our children as well as all others. We are to share it. Our faith…if we are truly regenerate should be a natural extension that manifests itself in ways that others will know we are different but I don’t believe we are to live out a system of works that will gain us closer access to the Lord. I don’t believe that if we can just act a certain way, teach our children a certain way, that the Lord will ‘visit their hearts’ or save them in any way. I believe that He will save them or not according to His will and not through anything we do or do not do. I don’t believe that if we can just live out a life of sinless perfection that He will in any way owe us anything where our children (or ourselves) are concerned.

 

If that was the way it worked neither my husband nor I would have been saved. Neither one of us ever had that ‘unfeigned faith’ lived out before us.

 

 To me…the outward showing of faith comes from an inward change. It’s the byproduct of what has happened in the heart and soul and has nothing to do with any physical or verbal actions on our part. If our salvation is real then the Lord will change our heart and our lives will show that but it will be because it is a natural manifestation of the changes of our hearts and souls and not a conscious, outward work that we do because we are trying to reach God.

 

No matter how good we are, no matter how religious we are, no matter how many outward works we do…we can’t reach Christ, or get our children to Christ. Only He can save us (or them) and He will do that or not no matter what we do or do not do.

 

I don’t believe faith is inherited. I don’t believe we can live out our faith in a way that our children will ‘catch’ it the way they would the chicken pox. I believe that our children will be influenced by us, by our lives and actions, by our beliefs and faith but that they will in no way be saved because of them. Their salvation rests in the Lords hands and nowhere else.

People can show a belief they do not feel. This can show up in the way they dress, their commitment to a physical church building, the way they raise their children, the things they say or do. Just because they show an outward system of works that makes them look to be a Christian that doesn’t mean they have been saved by the Lord.

 

Everything we do should be in obedience to the Lord. We are to try and avoid all sin but when we fail…no if, but when…we are forgiven in Christ.

 

 

This brings me back to where I was before. My belief is that our faith comes straight from the Lord. It is not a result of anything we have done nor is it a result of anything our parents did or did not do in raising us. It is the Lord’s will to draw us to him and to save us and it is a gift from Him that should be seen as such. With no assumption that we can work our children into the same gift or that if we can live out a life of works that He will somehow owe us the salvation of our children. That was a very difficult point for me to get around. And to accept.

 

All of that to say everything I do, every view I have on life, stems from the belief that it is God that saved me and I can’t work my way to Him.

 

Is that Chrsitian fatalism? See it as you want to but for me it is nothing more than putting my life into my Lord’s hands and accepting whatever plan He has in place for me.

 

 I do not believe in free will. We are God’s creations. He does with us what He wants to do with us. That includes the miniscule things in our lives as well as the huge things in our lives. We are His whether we want to be or not, whether we acknowledge His existence or not, and He does with us what He wants to. (This was in response to a comment of us acting out of our own free will)

 

Either we believe God is sovereign or we don’t. If he is sovereign than everything…great and small…are within his command. If He isn’t sovereign than He really has no control.

 

If believing what I see in Scripture and believing that the Lord controls everything in His creation makes me a fatalist believer then that’s what I am. As I saw recently…’In the beginning God. Not ‘in the beginning man’. The Lord created all…people included…He saves who he wants to and doesn’t save who he wants to and all that we are is within His control and plans.