What was it like for Noah?

One of my daughters has been very interested in Noah and the flood lately. She's asked to watch videos of it, we've looked at pictures, read it in the children's Bible and spent lots of time talking about it. Her interest has transferred to my son which has brought in play, questions, and much talk about dinosaurs being on the ark. 

In some ways their interest in Noah makes me happy. In other ways it amuses me. But there is a place inside me, the place where I understand what happened when Noah built that ark, where I wonder how much of the truth of that 'story' to share with them. I grew up learning about Noah's ark. I heard the stories. Watched the videos. It's portrayed as a cute story. A feel good time when Noah saved all the animals.

The truth is far different. 

It was a very dark time. A time that most people today, the very people that teach Noah's ark to children, would not have wanted to experience.

5 The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. 7 So the Lord said, “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, man and animals and creeping things and birds of the heavens, for I am sorry that I have made them.” Genesis 6:5-7

Where is the feel good story in that? Where is the God of love so many people know today. When I read those verses I see that man was so wicked, so evil, that the Lord regretted making all men. He was sorry that He had created them, so much so that He was going to completely kill out not only every human on the earth but also every animal. I see that the Lord was grieved by the actions of men, by the conditions of their hearts, and that He planned to release His wrath on all the earth as a result.

But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord. Genesis 6:7

Sometimes I marvel at that. In the entire world...Noah found favor. One man out of how many? One man wasn't wicked. One man's heart wasn't filled with evil. What kind of man must Noah have been?

I have a pretty good idea. Scripture spells out for us what is evil and what is good.

20 And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. 21 For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.23 All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” Mark 7:20-23

Evil things= evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. 

Sometimes I think about what a world so evil the Lord wanted to destroy it would look like. And I don't have far to imagine. Because all the things listed as evil above are prevalent in our society today. When I think of what the world must have been like before the flood I imagine there was more murder going on, maybe in plain sight of everyone but beyond that...what was different from today?

Even with that though...that isn't what makes me stop and really just think, just imagine, what it was like. It's when I get to the part that only Noah found favor with God. Only Noah wasn't wicked.

Can you imagine being the only person on earth that wasn't filled with that much evil? Can you imagine the isolation? The longing for others to be like you were?

I can. And it floors me. I know how I felt in years past when I could clearly see a difference in my faith and in the 'Christians' around me. I know how much I held back because to share the faith I had, to share what was so much a part of me, pushed people away. I didn't understand it. Didn't know what made me so different than them. Was I wrong? Or were they?

If I was wrong there was nothing I could do to stop it. I didn't know why I saw things the way I did but I couldn't change the way I saw it. And I was alone with my beliefs, with my faith, with my Lord. I am no longer in that place. My husband shares the same faith, the same beliefs. And I know what's different in my faith and I know where to find others that have that kind of faith, online if not in person. 

And yet...I still just marvel at what life must have been like for Noah. Of how He must have hurt at seeing so much wickedness, at living in its presence. I can imagine the loneliness, the pain, the isolation he must have felt.

Then my mind goes onto a different track. One that makes me marvel in a whole new way. Here was a man that stood out among the entire population of earth. A man that found favor in God's eyes when He had stopped looking favorably on all men. When God created Adam he said it was good. His creation was good. He was happy with it. He even went so far as to say His creation was very good. When I think of that, I think of the crafts I've done, the quilts I've made, the stories I've written, and remember the sense of accomplishment when I finished them. There is something I made. It's finished. And I'm happy with the result. So I stop the work I was putting into it and call it done. I have no illusions that my paltry little crafts or stories in any way measure up to the work of creation but it is the closest I can get to imagining what it must have been like for the Lord. There was something He made, something He created. He worked on it until He was happy with it, until it looked the way He wanted it to, and then He called it good and He stopped working on it.

What does it take for something you once called good to so offend you that you destroy it? He didn't just grow tired of it, discover it was worn out, or outgrow it. He was offended by it. Grieved by it. What was once good in His sight now held so much evil He no longer wanted to look at it, to deal with it. And so He planned to destroy it. And yet...one man found favor in His eyes. One man stood out among all the others. One man was worth saving. And so He saved Him. Out of how many people that populated the earth at that time...God saved Noah.

Another daughter recently expressed a thought I've heard before from others...what about the babies? What about the children? What were they doing that was so evil that God had to destroy them? That's a question I've had a hard time answering in the past, one I still struggle with today. Although I know the answer...God looks at the hearts of men. He knows what they will be and how they will act and believe long before they're ever born. I know that. I know every baby ever born is a sinner at birth. And yet I still struggle with my very human nature to see babies as innocent. I have a one month old niece. I saw her a couple of weeks ago. She was tiny and sweet and very innocent. There was nothing bad in any of her actions. She didn't even know she was a person let alone understand what she was doing. She was innocent. But I know that she was born with a sinful nature.

To think of tiny babies being killed by the flood for the evil that men were doing...it's hard to think about even though I know there's more to it than that. I know the Lord looked at those babies and saw only evil in their hearts. He was able to see what man never could. He knew what those babies would one day become, knew what their hearts would hold, what their actions would be.

As I responded to my daughter I remembered a headline news article I had seen not all that long ago. I didn't read the article but I did read the headline, and I saw the disturbing picture attached to it. In that picture was a very small boy holding a gun. The caption read something like...five year old taught to kill Christians. I remembered that...and was reminded that evil starts young. I thought of children I have known that were taught from infancy to use drugs. I thought of other children whose parents trained them from babyhood to fight. These children may have come into the world in a way that made them seem innocent but the longings of their hearts and the things they were taught from birth made them evil long before they had a chance to grow up. That little boy in that picture never had a chance to be anything but evil. Not only was he born a sinner but evil was taught to him in such a way that he never realized what he was doing was wrong. Will he change when he's older? Possibly. Only the Lord knows that boys future. But right now that little boy is being groomed to do evil.

When I told my daughter of that boy she was horrified. Shocked that someone so young could do such a thing. Horrified that the parents or whoever was raising him would teach it to him. We then talked about those 'innocent' children that died during the flood. How they were being taught the ways of their parents, the ways of their society.

Just this past week I saw several posts about public schools teaching gender neutrality and about the girl scouts letting little boys that think they're girls, or want to be girls, into what has historically been an all girls organization. This is where our society has gone. It is the place where America is. And the children of our society are being taught from birth, from childhood, to not only accept it but embrace it. It is no longer seen by the majority as something bad, it's no longer something that's there but unspoken. It's now written right into curriculum's and programs. It's plainly stated and openly taught. What chance do those children being taught those things have to withstand evil, to believe differently? If the child does somehow pick up a different set of values they aren't going to be allowed to express them. They'll get into trouble, be labeled as a troublemaker. 

Among those articles was the decision that at least one school district has made to allow boys that identify as girls to use girls bathroom and locker rooms. My mind just staggers at that very thought. I remember what it was like in public school, changing clothes in the locker room. I would have been horrified to have to do so in front of boys, no matter if they thought they were girls. I would still be horrified today if I had to share a locker room with men. I'd be shocked and uncomfortable at best if I were to walk into a bathroom and see a man in there. A couple of years ago we vacationed in Florida and stayed at a campground. It was a nice campground with so-so bathrooms but they were always clean and were built in a way where you had privacy while in there. One day several boys came into the bathroom looking for their mom who was in the shower area. After talking to her they proceeded to use the bathroom then left. Nothing wrong in that. Except that these boys ranged in age from about nine to 12 or 13. As a mother to a young son, who has never been in a men's bathroom, I can understand the need for these boys to be in the women's bathroom. And they were polite and showed no indecent interest in any of the women or girls in the bathroom. But there comes a point where boys in the girls bathroom is wrong. The girls in the schools that are allowing that will have no choice but to accept it. They will be forced to share bathroom and changing facilities with boys whether they want to or not. As a result they will be trained to accept that which goes against the very nature of male and female. There is a time and a place for boys, and men, to be in a women's bathroom, and for women and girls to be in a men's bathroom, but forcing children to accept boys in what has been labeled as a girls area just because that boy wants to think he's a girl isn't it. It's in those times where a man has a little girl in town and she's been in the women's bathroom too long and he needs to check on her. It's in those times when a woman in town has sole care of a handicapped man and he needs help in the bathroom. It's at times when there are extenuating circumstances and there are no alternative options. But it isn't in those times that someone of one gender wants to be the other gender and so wishes to use the bathroom they shouldn't be in. That is simply encouraging wickedness and teaching it to children when they're young and easily impressionable.

And that is the way the conversation with my older daughter went. While my younger children were and are fascinated with the feel good side of Noah's ark, with the 'look what Noah did to save all the animals' side, my older daughter was questioning why God would want to kill babies and children. People that she saw as being innocent of all the evil that was going on in the world. As we talked about things like the little boy being trained to kill Christians, and children in America being trained to accept that which should never have to be accepted, she began to see it from a slightly different perspective. Those children should have been innocent. But they weren't. It was possible for them to grow up in so much evil that they see it as entertainment at worst and just the way things are at best. She still questioned the babies though. And I had no answer except to tell her that God could see what we can't. And what He saw was evil in the hearts of all men. 

Babies aren't mentioned in the verses on Noah. Scripture doesn't tell us how many people there were on earth or how many babies on the earth at that time. The verses that tell us about Noah and the flood don't tell us anything about babies and children. We are left to fill in those gaps for ourselves. Chances are...those babies were born into so much sin that their hearts were corrupt even before they were old enough to know they were people. 

The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. Genesis 6:5

Chances are that verse speaks of babies and children too. But how do you explain that to children? The daughter asking those questions is in her teens. If she can think up the questions, she can handle the answers. And so I did my best to explain to her something that I can't fully grasp myself. I understand. I get it. But my human nature can't fathom the need to kill babies. Just as my daughter couldn't understand why God would kill them. In the end the only way to answer that, as with so many other questions, is to say...His ways aren't our ways. He has a plan for mankind, for His people, and it may never look like any plan we, as mere humans, would make much less choose. 

And at a time when there was nothing but wickedness on the earth, when there was nothing but evil in men's hearts the Lord saw the same in the hearts of the babies and children. And in that time...there was only one man that found favor in His eyes. Only one man worthy of saving. Only one man that was to carry out the weight of the Lord's plan for His people.

What must it have been like for Noah to live in such wickedness? What must it have been like for him to survive among that kind of evil? How must He have felt to be that different from everyone else? So different that He stood out from the many on earth, no matter how few that many might have been. How did he feel when God told Him what was to come? When God chose Him?

What must it have been like to be on that boat when the flood came? To think of all the people outside the boat. To look at the empty spaces and know someone could have fit there. How small a space would you happily live in if it was the only way to save your life? If it kept you from drowning? Did Noah and his family hear the cries of the people in the flood? Did they beg to be let in? Did they beat on the ark trying to find a way in? What must it have been like for Noah?

What if God, although willing to demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? 23And He did so to make known the riches of His glory upon vessels of mercy, which He prepared beforehand for glory,…Romans 9:22-23

When I read the verse above I'm filled with awe and pain. Awe that I was chosen to be a vessel of mercy and pain for those that were prepared ahead of time so that the Lord's mercy and power could be shown to me so that I could be saved. It hurts to know that it's very possible that there were people born, people destined for destruction, simply so that the Lord could fulfill His plan in my life, so that He could save me. And those thoughts are only in my head, in my heart. 

What was it like for Noah to know that outside his ark, in the rain, in the flood, there were many people dying. Did he feel guilty for being chosen, for being saved? Did he want to open the door and let a few in? Did he want to take in the children and babies? Did his wife and daughter in laws cry over the loss of the children? Did they beg him to take in the tiny babies? What must it have been like? He may have been glad to escape all the evil and wickedness that the people outside the ark caused. It may have been a relief. How relieved would we be if we lived in a place where everyone was murdering and hurting others all the time? Was that what it was like for Noah? Was he relieved? Or did he hurt for those that were lost? Had he lived so apart from them that he knew none of them personally or did he have friends out there? Family? Did he ache for them? Pray for them?

What was it like for Noah when the flood waters receded and he left the ark to find a world unlike the world he had known before? What was it like to stand on dry ground, to look around and see nothing familiar? What was it like to look at the seven members of your family and know that there was no one else on earth? 

What was it like for Noah?

The Lord changed me

25"Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. 26"Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27"I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances.…

Ezekiel 36:25-27

Through an experience that happened this week I was reminded of something that I rarely think about anymore. I was reminded of the old me. The one that used to live but seems to have vanished. That me controlled a lot of things, or thought she did. That me got angry and said things without thought. That me failed to consider others feelings as she said those things. She spoke the truth in any situation and operated on a 'sometimes the truth hurts' philosophy. That me...disappeared.

One day she was there and the next she wasn't. I didn't see it at the time. It took months before I realized that that me had gone somewhere and didn't seem to be coming back. It took that long for me to see it because the new me was too busy marveling at the things the Lord had revealed and done in my life for me to notice the absence of the old me.

This week as events in my life reminded me of the old me, as I remembered how I once would have acted and reacted, I found myself thinking of the old me and once again wondering if she's completely gone. It seems that she is. My actions and reactions have shown that time and again and yet sometimes I wonder if she'll resurface sometime when I least expect it.

As I thought of the old me, as those things happening in my life reminded me of what I used to be, I was also vividly aware of a place...a feeling...inside me that wasn't in me when that old me lived. There was a calmness, a mellowness, a lack of anger and the need to put people in their place that would have been there in the old me.

It was an amazing reminder of what happens when the Lord saves us, a reminder of what He did in my life. He took the old me and changed me into the me that I am now. So much of the changes He has created in me have happened over years and came about slowly but that change...that very big change...was sudden. It happened in what seems like a moment. One minute I was me, the next...I was a new me.

I didn't go looking for that change and I sure wouldn't have wanted to make that change. I was a shy child. I was the one that never stuck up for herself. Over the years I somehow learned to stand up for myself, to speak up, to face whatever came my way with my chin up and to say and do what needed doing no matter if it hurt someone else. It was...I believed at the time...what I had to do. I learned to hold my own in a world that was often unkind. And I was proud of what I learned.

Until the day it was gone...or until I realized it was gone...and then I didn't think so highly of what I used to be.

Just the other day I told someone they have no idea what I'm capable of. Only...I don't think I'm capable of that anymore. And that's a good thing. I like the me that I am now way more than I ever liked the old me.

We once were

I have a daughter that seems to teach me something new on a regular basis. She teaches me these new things not because she learns something new and shares it with me but because I learn something new as a result of being her mother. I have other daughters that seem to not make me learn and change near as much as that one does. But somehow that daughter...without trying...makes me learn something new about parenting and often about myself on a regular basis.

That happened again this week.

This daughter did nothing to bring about the change...or rather, the revelation...that I went through. As a result to a conversation about that daughter I saw something about her...about me...that I haven't seen before.

As a parent teachings new things to our children is standard. We taught them to eat, to walk, and in some way to talk. We taught them colors and shapes and a whole slew of other things. When behavior issues cropped up we taught them how to behave. Either by teaching them not to act a certain way or by letting them act however they wanted.

Parenting is often a combination of teaching them from both of those methods with a lot of teaching by example happening too. Only...I have found that often while I'm in the middle of being mom I don't always notice when we've passed from one phase into another.

That was the case with this daughter, with this lesson I so recently learned. Only for me the lesson was more about me than it will ever be about her. You see...this daughter challenges me, she stretches me to the limits of what I know about parenthood and she pushes me past them. Often times I don't quite know how to handle those challenges. And so I do what all parents do...I get through them the best way I know how at the time.

But this latest incident showed me something I didn't know. As I reminded my husband of what all that child has been through, he told me that just because she was there doesn't mean we need to leave her there.

And that got me to thinking.

About that daughter but also about me. Just because we once were something doesn't mean we have to stay that way. Just because we once did something doesn't mean we have to continue to do it. Even the good things may have a season in our lives and in time need to be set aside.

I have thought a lot about what my husband said since he said it. Thought about it and how it pertains to that daughter, thought about how that same statement can be applied to so much of life.

I have a tote that holds clothes that my children wore when they were little. I look through that tote from time to time, often with the thought in mind that I should get rid of the clothes, and as I look through them I remember when my children wore them. I remember how tiny they were or how my daughter learned to walk in those shoes or my son wore that shirt day after day and I had to wash it while he was sleeping. The clothes bring back memories but as I think of that tote now I am also reminded of something else...as my children grew I had to remove those clothes from their closets and dressers, even favorite clothes had their season of wear then had to be set aside when they no longer fit. As my children outgrew the clothes they moved beyond them. The old was outgrown and the new grown into.

The same thing happens with phases and ages in childhood. And it happens in our Spiritual walk. We grow. We change. The Lord makes us into what he wants us to be. He takes us from what we once were and turns us into what we are now.

Just because we were once that way doesn't mean we have to be left there.

Idolatry in the 'church'

Last Sunday I went to services at the ‘church’ building that I sometimes attend. When I was going there on a weekly basis I couldn’t see it for what it was. This ‘Church’ building has a theme and they use that theme for everything. You don’t need to see a sign or read a pamphlet to know what this ‘church’ building stands for. All you have to do is drive past. You can’t miss the message they send. It’s in the shape of their building, in the type of fencing, in the look of the grounds. And just in case you miss it when you pull into the parking lot you’ll be sure to pick it up when you walk inside. From the pictures hanging on the walls, the Bible verses that have been rewritten to support the theme of the ‘church’, all the way to the handles on the bathroom stalls. There is a very definite theme and it isn't Christ.
This 'church' does have a very strong professing belief, they do touch topics most 'churches' won't but Christ isn't the first thing you notice about this 'church.'

When I visit this ‘church’ I clearly see all this for what it is now but when I was a regularly attending member I couldn’t see it for what it was. Idolatry.

It’s in everything that this ‘church’ building stands for and the members there take pride in the theme. Now that I see the idolatry for what it is I’m aware of it everytime I visit this ‘church’ building. I very much enjoy getting to visit with the friends we made there but the idolatry in what the building stands for, in what they use to entertain their members, now stands out to me.

Why I didn’t see it for what it was when I was attending there regularly I don’t know. This particular ‘church’ building has a very obvious theme that does not revolve around Christ. It is a theme that if not connected to the ‘church’ one would never see a connection to Christ at all. But because they have connected it to Christ what should have been a culture or way of life for some that has nothing to do with the Lord, what should have been a group of various people, some that were Christians, some that weren’t, has now become a way of pulling people in and keeping them in the ‘church’ through the use of a theme that draws crowds in large numbers.

 I still enjoy going to this ‘church’ from time to time and would enjoy going to some of their events if I was close enough to do so but I now cringe at all the idolatry involved with this ‘church’ building and all the events they host in the name of God.

I can’t help but think…What does the Lord think of all of this? It’s idolatry in the fullest sense that has been dressed up to be about Christ.

 And it happens in every denomination, in just about every 'church' building. Whether it's a theme, the building, the preacher, their doctrine, tithes...whatever it is... most, if not all, 'church' buildings have something that's more important than Christ.

Throw-away Christianity

About two months ago I went in search of one of those little devices that makes the everyday life a bit more…comfortable.

A flyswatter.

While picking up a few groceries at the local supercenter I searched out the flyswatters. At that time they had several two packs of ordinary, everyday, regular flyswatters. You know…the kind with the metal handle and the plastic swatter. I was happy to find those because I’ve learned from experience that buying the all plastic flyswatters is the equivalent to throwing money away because they’ll be broken within days. The same day I got the flyswatters I also picked up a two pack of wasp spray.

Sure that we would be able to deal with the hordes of wasps taking up residence on the outside of our house and the occasional fly that was finding its way inside I left the store.

Only to discover that when we used the wasp spray it did little to nothing on the wasps. This was spray that said it was guaranteed to kill on contact and the wasps just flew away when they were sprayed. Well…we still had the flyswatters.

And they did good. They killed not only flies but wasps and the occasional spider too. With four flyswatters we should have been good not only this summer but for several summers to come. Only…they didn’t do much better than the bug spray. Within a month at least two of them were broken. Now down to one flyswatter I’m convinced that they work about the same as the wasp spray. They last for a little while, do just enough to be able to say they work, and then give out.

Our society has become what’s called a throw-away society. It’s long been known that we use something until we decide we need another one and then replace whether or not it really needs replacing. There’s a whole movement geared toward getting people to use only reusable things. Reusable shopping bags, reusable straws, reusable cups designed to look like their throw-away counterparts. You name it and you can most likely find something designed to be used over and over again that would take the place of the conventional throw-away version.

Modern Christianity is a lot like the throw-away society and all the products that go with it. The local ‘Christian’ radio station has been playing commercials for a ‘Christian’ kid’s camp. In this advertisement a woman talks about how secure she feels leaving her children in the hands of the staff at this camp and how they plan new activities every summer. A worker talks about how they’re ‘on fire’ for Jesus.

On fire for Jesus.

As I heard that yesterday I found myself wondering what exactly that means. I’ve heard the saying before, have met people that claimed to be on fire for Jesus before, have known people that were thrilled because they’re daughter was ‘on fire for God.’ But as I listened to that commercial I had to wonder…what does it mean to be ‘on fire for Jesus?’

I love the Lord, live to please Him. I feel Him in the deepest recesses of me. If you took Him away from me there would be nothing left of me but a shell. I very much enjoy reading Scripture.

But I’m not on fire for Jesus.

My husband commented on the very thing I was pondering as that commercial ended. ‘They’re on fire for Jesus.’ His tone and expression conveyed his skepticism and opinion. So I wasn’t the only one thinking those things.

The moment ended and we said no more about it. I forgot about it until this morning when my husband picked up our one remaining flyswatter and was pointing out how thin it was made and how they used to be made better, how they lasted for years when they were made better.

I can’t remember my grandparents ever having to buy a new flyswatter and they seemed to keep plenty of flyswatters around. But I don’t remember them ever needing to be replaced. At least not when I was a child. Every year my grandmother simply got the flyswatter off the hook when the flies started coming inside, when the weather turned cooler and they stopped making an appearance the flyswatter would hang there until it was needed again when the weather warmed up.

There was no need to buy a new one, no need to repair it or look for a bigger or better one. Here was the flyswatter, it served its purpose year after year and there was never a thought given to replacing it or needing to make it look or feel better. It was simply there…waiting to serve its purpose.

There are Christians that are that way. We don’t need camps and concerts. No need for fancy light shows and sad stories that tug at the emotions. Give us the gospel and we are happy to listen for hours. Tell us we’re sinners, give us a message that says we deserve hell and we’ll sit through it time and again.

And then there’s another type of ‘Christianity’. One that uses terms like we’re ‘on fire for Jesus’ or the one that really makes me cringe…Jesus freaks. This ‘Christianity’ uses terms and expressions like this to tell their targeted audience that they are very ‘spiritual’, they use those terms and the concerts, kids camps, rodeos, and all the other ‘Christian’ activities to pull people in.

They pull them in with all these things because unregenerate people can’t be held with the true gospel. They won’t sit for hours listening as they read scripture. They’ll walk out of congregations or audiences if a message is given on how sinful they are. So in come the camps and all the other things that are needed to pull them in and keep them coming back.

True Christianity is ‘boring’ so it can’t be delivered to the majority of ‘Christian’ audiences. It must be made more appealing. Here are people used to living in the world. They seek the things of the world. They sit through a Sunday sermon and long before it ends they are thinking of which restaurant they will go to for lunch, they’re thinking of the movie they’ll see at the cinema after lunch, they’re thinking of the shopping trip they’re going on tomorrow, they’re thinking of….all the things that hold their attention.

So the band is brought back on stage, the screens are lit up, the drums start pounding out a beat that pulls the attention. Their minds are brought back to the ‘gospel’ as its delivered through props and stories. And it creates Jesus Freaks that are on fire for Jesus.

But how long does it last?

Is it real?

Yesterday I was at the same supercenter looking for replacement flyswatters. I went back to the same department and found…nothing. When I asked a worker where I could find the flyswatters I was taken to a whole slew of battery operated bug zappers with lights and electrical currents. Here was the replacement for the plain old ordinary flyswatter I wanted. When I bought flyswatters a couple of months ago they were stacked on the very top shelf, out of sight unless you were looking for them. Yesterday the plain old, ordinary flyswatters were gone. Now there was a whole aisle filled with all these different battery operated bug zappers in bright colors, boxes with all the advantages of this type of bug killer written on their fronts. Not only had the flyswatter been replaced but where it had been relegated to the very top shelf where it sat unseen unless a person looked for it…now there were these new and improved bug zappers taking up every shelf on the aisle from top to bottom. The choices seemed endless.

As I asked for a regular flyswatter I was once again directed to the electronic replacements. And they appeared at first sight to be better than the ordinary flyswatter.  Who wouldn’t want something that kills on contact or that you don’t even have to touch for it to kill all the bugs? It would seem to be better than an ordinary flyswatter. It lights up, it hums, it zaps bugs on contact.

And I knew from experience that they don’t work. I’ve had several different versions of this electronic bug zapper in past years. No matter how expensive or how cheap they were they all had the same result. If you have swarms of teeny tiny bugs they will kill some of them but it takes a cloud of bugs to be able to kill out a moderate amount of them. To kill a fly you must capture the fly in the little cross bars and basically fry it otherwise flies will be stunned for a few minutes and then they’ll get up and fly off like nothing happened.

Here was the so-called solution to killing flies. Use lights, humming and electricity to kill them. Some of these bug zappers even pulled bugs in with lights that appeal to them then zap them once they’ve flown into the light.

Much like those ‘Christian’ camps and various other activities pull people in so they can ‘zap’ them with Jesus. The belief goes something like this….they won’t come into our ‘church’ to hear us tell them they’re sinners so we need to pull them in with fun activities that will capture them and keep them coming back. While they’re here we’ll tell them how much Jesus loves them and we’ll save them.

It works in much the same way as those bug zappers…lure them in with lights and noise and zap them once we have them in our midst. One might even begin to feel sorry for the human bugs that are being lured and zapped.

Because once they’ve been zapped, once they’ve seen the error of their ways, once they’re ‘on fire for Jesus’…their lives will never be the same again.

But is it real?

Does it last?

Here are people that claim to be ‘on fire for Jesus’, they’ve changed their lives, they’re doing all these things in the hopes of converting more and more people so that they too will be ‘on fire for Jesus’ and yet…

How long before that fires starts to sputter? How long before the oxygen is cut off or the wood is too wet? How long before the excitement of being on fire begins to fade and they’re left with a ‘Christianity’ that is only sometimes burning?

Because it wasn’t built on Christ at all.

There’s nothing in Scripture that talks of being ‘on fire’ for Christ. Nowhere in the pages of the Bible was anyone ever called a ‘Jesus Freak.’

And yet in the ‘Christianity’ of today being a Jesus Freak is considered such a wonderful thing that it’s plastered on t-shirts, books, bumper stickers and more. It, and terms like it, are used to lure people into ‘Christian’ programs. Parents want their children to be ‘on fire’ or a ‘Jesus Freak’ because it means they’re saved.

And like the difference between the flyswatter that was made to last and the one made to fall apart with little use, this type of ‘Christianity’ fades in time. It is a throw-away ‘Christianity’. Where you once had a person that was ‘on fire for Jesus’ joining in all the activities, helping host them and teach Jesus to new recruits…now you have people that are left remembering when they were ‘on fire for Jesus’ and now they aren’t. Because what was built on light shows and excitement can’t last. It won’t survive being taken from all the excitement, on full display, and turned into the ordinary, plain, basic and set on the top shelf out of sight.

 

 

Completed in marriage

In a recent post (http://journeyingtochrist.blogspot.com/2015/05/marriage-by-book.html)  I wrote that a woman will follow her leader, that my husband leads and I follow. After my husband read that post he and I talked about it. He said that that trait in women can easily be seen. It can be seen in the women who ride motorcycles with their men, in the women that watch certain movies or listen to certain music because he does. My husband went on to say how it’s the way we’re designed.

As I thought over that, thought about just how much following is involved, I could easily see that following does seem to be deeply ingrained into women. It’s not just that we follow our husbands but that relationships in general are engaged in on a follow kind of basis.

I’m not a follower by nature. Put me in a group of people and I won’t be the one following along no matter what they’re doing. My sister and I have talked about disaster situations, about what would happen if… (we live in tornado alley). Those conversations were mainly a way to pass the time and enjoy visiting with each other but as we have talked about those things we both commented on what we thought the other would do in a situation like that. My sister is certain I would not be the one standing back waiting to be told what to do, nor would I be the one falling apart no matter how bad the situation was. She firmly believes I would be the one making plans and giving orders.

My sister, I believe, would be more likely to stand quietly in the crowd, not giving orders or telling others what to do, but she wouldn’t be following the crowd either. She has an interest in survival skills and would quietly put them to use, sharing her knowledge with those around her. We both agree that we would, in a survival situation, trust the other enough to follow each other.

When I was in my teens there was a lot of talk in my family about whether any given child was a leader or a follower. My youngest sister, it was easily decided, was a follower. My cousins were given their spots based on their personalities. There were leaders, followers, and the ones in between. Each child was then further labeled as the one likely to lead the group into trouble, follow along blindly, or abandon the group in order to keep themselves out of trouble.

That isn’t the type of following I’m talking about here. I am not a follower. Put me in a group of people and I may be the one sitting quietly in the back but when something comes along where the group is going to do something I’m not going to follow along. Put me in a situation where my survival, or that of my loved ones, is at jeopardy and I’ll be the one making decisions.

Unless I have a whole lot of trust in the other person.

I would have to know the other person well enough, to trust them deep enough, to know that they know what they’re talking about, what they’re doing, and to know that I can confidently place my life in their hands.

That’s what I did when I said ‘I do’ to my husband.

I handed my entire life into his hands. I entrusted myself to him. I, with those two little words, told him I trust him enough to let him lead. I told him I would be the follower.

I didn’t need to say it in words. I didn’t need to explain it. It is just the way it is. According to my husband, that is how women are designed.  We have had other conversations where he has said similar things, where he’s made similar observations.

I had someone tell me a couple of years ago that women don’t have the ability to separate reason and emotion. This person, who happened to be a man, said that if a woman was in a war zone and a small boy was riding into a group of people with a bomb strapped to his body that a woman wouldn’t be able to kill the boy because her emotions wouldn’t let her, that she couldn’t separate her reasoning from her emotions enough to act. He went on to say that a man would shoot the boy and feel remorse later.

Personally, I don’t think that’s a fair assessment. I think there are women that would kill the boy and men that couldn’t pull the trigger. But I understood the point he was making. This man went on to say that when a boy is developing in the womb there comes a point when testosterone floods the brain and disconnects the reasoning abilities from the emotional ones.

Is that true? I don’t know, I never researched it. But there was something else in that story that I do believe is true. It wasn’t anything he said, it was an underlying point that was made while he was not so subtly getting to the place where he said women were brain damaged because our reasoning couldn’t be separated from our emotions.

That man, in my opinion, made a good point while totally missing the point, if that makes sense. My husband and I have talked about that very point many times. It is the point where women are designed to be different than men. We were created a certain way, they were created a certain way.

There is no brain damage involved. No right or wrong. No good or bad. It isn’t an either or situation like that man tried to point out. There’s no brain damage in a woman simply because her emotions and her reasoning are connected. We are quite simply designed to be that way. The Lord created us to be that way. And there’s no brain damage involved because a man can separate his reasoning and his emotions.

I’ve wondered a few times as the need to discipline a child has come up if that doesn’t play a factor in my difficulty in being strict with my children. Whenever one of them is acting up, even if they’re being very disobedient or mean to another person, I simply find myself thinking about how I would feel if I were getting into that kind of trouble. It’s not that I can’t see that they need to be punished, I clearly see that, what I have trouble with is actually dishing out the punishment needed because I know that any punishment will be uncomfortable for them.

In those times…my emotions get in the way of my reasoning.

According to the man that pointed out that women can’t separate their emotions from their reasoning, women will react one way in any given situation and men another. He’s right about that. Everyone knows that to be the case. There will always be exceptions, always be differences in how one man (or woman) reacts verses how another would. Personalities, life experiences, beliefs…they all play a role in how a person responds. But the basic design of men and women places us in a spot where we will react to any given situation based strictly on whether or not we are male or female.

So much attention has been given to the rights of homosexuals and transgendered people lately that the lines are steadily being erased between what is male and female. Our society is trying to remove the very lines that make us who we are.

Several years ago I read in the news about a family that had two young children. The parents were raising these children in a way to believe they weren’t male or female. They hadn’t disclosed the gender of their babies to even their closest relatives. These children were allowed to buy clothes in either the girl or boy department based on which clothes they liked as they were shopping. Nothing was off-limits. It was the same way with toys, school supplies, and anything else. I’m not sure if even the children knew what gender they were.

The line was erased in that family. For the children anyway. The parents were mom and dad. One man, one woman. But the children had no such distinction. I wondered at the time what they were teaching the children to be. If they weren’t boy and they weren’t girl, what were they? Apparently, according to at least one social media site, that question can be answered in about 75 different ways, so I understand. At least that’s what I read in a news article recently. Roughly 75 different options for whether or not you’re male or female…or maybe it’s roughly 75 different options to keep from being called either male or female.

The whole thing confuses me. It’s much simpler to go by a very basic rule.

Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them Man when they were created. Genesis 5:2

No alternatives. No options. No choosing between dozens of different definitions that completely erase what a person is. When I was expecting my now five year old, my then six year old told me she thought the baby was a giraffe. When I told her it wasn’t a giraffe she informed me that I couldn’t know that because I didn’t know what the baby was so it could be a giraffe. Coming from such a young child it was cute. One of those sweet little things that we file away in our memories. But the whole gender definition thing reminds me of that conversation.

If you don’t know what you are…you can be anything.

Male and female he created them…

Simple. Straight forward. No room for confusion or argument. You’re either one or the other. And because we’re either one or the other, we are created to be and act a certain way. My husband leads, I follow. Not because I am a follower by nature but because the Lord has designed me to respond to my husband a certain way. He has his place, I have mine. Scripture defines exactly what those places are. He is the provider, I am the helper. He is the strong one, I am the weaker vessel.

As my husband and I discussed how wives follow their husbands, as we shared how we both acted and reacted because of the other, I began to see something. It’s much like a dance. He acts, I react. I react and he’s challenged to act in certain ways because I will react based on him.

When I was a kid I took dance lessons. The teacher would count of the steps…one, two, three, four…there was a rhythm, a flow, to the movements. Right foot did this, so left foot did that. Because our feet were doing one thing our arms were supposed to be doing another. And when it was all put together it flowed. That was ballet. This is marriage.

But the more I think about how lead and follow works in marriage the more I’m reminded of all those dance lessons. There was a lead and follow then to, an order that had to be kept to make everything flow. Those dance lessons came natural to some but were nearly impossible to master to others. Some of us were able to not only grasp the steps and movements needed but were able to do it with ease, some of the girls were able to move with so much grace (that’s the term in the ballet world) that it looked like they were just made to move that way, others were constantly stumbling over their feet and forgetting where their arms were supposed to be when.

There are wives that fall into those same categories. Wives that easily find their place in marriage, wives that struggle and fight the entire way. Yesterday I did some research on an author a friend mentioned in reference to a book she was reading. As I read the comments at the end of an article about this author there was quite a bit of discussion about Genesis 3:16 and how it applied to women and their place. Or more specifically how it applied to a woman’s role and actions and reactions in relationships. There seemed to be just about as many opinions on what it meant as there were comments. It seemed everyone saw it a different way.

The people making those comments were like the girls in those ballet classes I took. To some their place came easy, to others it was harder. Some fell into it with a natural ability that made it all flow, while others fought it like a fish on the end of a fishing pole.

After that conversation with my husband, quite by accident, I read something that brought all that to mind again. It was a very brief passage written by a professing ‘Christian’. What I read had enough good points to keep me reading to the end but still left me wishing they could have gone a little deeper, pointed out more truth. But they made several points that made me once again think of the conversation with my husband about the roles of husband and wife.

In the passage that I read the author touched on the fact that woman was created to be a helper for man. But they went further to say that woman completes man. She fills his empty places. She is there to share his life and by so doing she pulls him out of himself and into them.

That was where I began, again, to think on what my husband and I had talked about, on what Scripture says in reference to men and women, husbands and wives.

As a wife…when I became a wife…I discovered that being a wife completes me. Being a wife lets me be the me that I am deep inside. It brings the me that I am on the surface and the me that I am deep inside into a fullness that lets me…just be. I feel complete in everything. I am me. I’m a mother. I’m a daughter. A sister. A wife. It’s like being a wife closed the circle of who I am, it made a whole out of all the pieces. It gave me a sense of completeness I didn’t have before. It gave me security. It gave me the ability to be weak. And it made me stronger.

The role of wife gave me that completeness but it wasn’t the title that did it, although I do find a certain completion in just being a wife. It was my husband, my relationship with him, my interactions with him, my trust in him…those were what brought the full completeness that I feel because I am a wife. When I am away from my husband, be it for hours or days, there is still a sense of belonging, of completion, in just knowing that I am his wife even if I’m not with him. The security lingers even though he may not be physically present.

That is what I thought of as I read that passage that spoke of a woman completing her husband, of what it does to a man to have a wife. And then I thought more of what they said and less of what I felt because I am a wife.

When a man is married, no matter his beliefs, no matter his personality, no matter who he is or what he wants to be…he is no longer him, but they. Where once he was alone, now he has her. The Bible says:

and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. Mark 10:8

Where he was alone he is now two people that are one. Because of his wife he no longer has only himself to think of. She makes him think of his actions because he knows they affect her and that in turn makes him a better person, makes him try harder, because he has the responsibility of leading her.

At least that’s how it should be.

When a man marries his wife is entrusted into his care. She was created for him just as Eve was created for Adam. She isn’t just any other person but the woman that God created just for him. When God created Eve He put Adam to sleep and removed one of his ribs making Eve not just for him but through him. She was, quite literally, bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. She was made from a part of his very body.

As such she was created for Him.

House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:14

She was a gift, given to Adam, by God. She was created to fill a certain role in Adams life. There were certain traits that she was given that would allow her to fill that role. They were deeply ingrained, built into the very fiber of her being. She was there to help and follow Adam. He was there to look out for her, take care of her, lead her.

She had a role, he had a role. She was made one way, he another.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18

Eve…woman…was created because God saw that it was not good that man should be alone. He didn’t elaborate on why it wasn’t good, only said that it wasn’t good for man…not Adam but man…to be alone. And so woman was created to fill the void, the empty place, in man’s life. She was made to fill that emptiness, to complete him.

When a man and a woman marry it creates a wholeness, a completeness, that wasn’t there, in either of them, before they married. Before they were two incomplete people, through marriage they became one whole person.

and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. Mark 10:8

Marriage brings a completeness that wasn’t present in either the husband or the wife before they married. That is the Biblical design, God’s very plan, for marriage. The husband has a role and when he fulfills it the wife is completed. The wife has a role and when she fulfills it the husband is completed. She is bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it…Ephesians 5:28-29

A marriage, in the Lord, places both the husband and the wife in their God given roles. It lets them be who they were designed to be. Marriage can be a completion or it can be a competition. I am blessed to be completed in marriage but I’ve seen many marriages that were competitions. Neither the husband nor the wife were happy, they weren’t satisfied, and they weren’t completed in their marriage. They fought each other and the very fact that they were married. Marriage was a curse and not a blessing.

Those marriages weren’t based on Biblical principles. And neither the husband or the wife embraced the role of man or woman as they were designed to be. They embraced, instead, the role they wanted, the role the world said they could take. They didn’t find fulfillment in being the kind of man or woman they should have been, and therefore they didn’t find completeness in marriage.

How much better is the design, the plan, of the Lord?

 

 

The definition of marriage

I was browsing in the book section of our local thrift store the other day, not because I needed anything but because you never know what might be there. I wound up not finding anything although I did flip through a few books and a couple of Bibles. While I was scanning titles on the shelf a book on being a wife caught my eye. I picked it up knowing I had no intention of buying it. Mostly I was just curious. I didn’t get past the front cover. There was nothing necessarily wrong with the book. I didn’t even read the back cover. All I read was the brief writing on the front. I don’t remember exactly what it said but it was something like ‘with this book you’ll learn to be happy and satisfied in your marriage’ or some such thing. Below that there was another sentence or two. I barely glanced at them as I replaced the book on the shelf.

I had lost all interest in the book. Without any intention on my part the thoughts running through my head were why not just pick up a Bible and see what it has to say on marriage. Then Ephesians five came to mind.

I know the unregenerate can’t see marriage in the way the Bible speaks of it. I know there was a time I couldn’t see it that way. I wasn’t raised to see marriage as anything special. In my family marriage was something people did until they didn’t want to do it anymore. I don’t think I ever heard any of my family members talk about marriage as something that should be forever.

I’m not sure how far into my extended family I’d have to go before I found a couple that weren’t divorced. That was just the way my family was. Marriage was never spoken of as something special. It was never seen as something that you committed to for life. When things got hard, divorce was waiting. That was pretty much the unspoken belief among my immediate family and among my extended family.

My grandmother was divorced multiple times. She had five children, all of which were divorced at least once. That lack of total commitment to marriage was passed down without anyone really trying to teach it. It was simply there.

Somewhere in all that I picked up a different way of looking at marriage. To me it was special, sacred, something that was meant to be forever. I remember even in my teens I believed marriage was to be honored, that you didn’t go into it lightly and you didn’t just give up on it and walk away.

Where that belief came from I didn’t know. I seemed to be the only one in my family that saw marriage that way.

Today my daughter said without any hesitation ‘then I’d get a divorce.’ This isn’t the first time this daughter has said something to that effect. She’s said it before when talking about habits that her future husband may have. She seems to have no compunction about divorcing her future spouse.

While I know that it’s easy to say you’ll do something when your heart isn’t involved, I can’t help being concerned about her statements. Or more precisely I can’t help being concerned over the feelings and beliefs that those statements stem from.

Despite my best efforts to teach my daughter that marriage is sacred, that it matters, that it’s a lifetime commitment, she has somehow managed to pick up on the thoughts and feelings of my extended family…on the beliefs of our culture.

In our society marriage is more like take-out food. Go through the drive thru and pick up whatever suits you at the time and when you get tired of whatever you picked just toss it out and get another order. There’s nothing special about it. Easy come, easy go.

That may be our culture’s way of seeing marriage but it isn’t the Lord’s way.

A quick look in a modern dictionary says marriage is the union between a person of the opposite sex as husband and wife. Unfortunately that same definition goes on to state that it’s a relationship recognized by the law and then gets even worse by saying marriage is also a similar relationship between two people of the same sex.

There is nothing in that modern definition that shows marriage to be anything special. I could have been reading about a partnership between two businesses for all the importance put on that definition. Marriage is the union between two people recognized by law. A business partnership is the union between two people recognized by the law…or whatever other type of merger happens between two people.

Where is the acknowledgement that marriage is something special, that it’s a relationship that goes above and beyond that of any other relationship you will ever have?

Not happy with that definition I dug a little deeper. I looked into a dictionary published in 1828. And found a very different definition for marriage, one that puts much more emphasis on the importance of what a marriage is.

MAR'RIAGE, n. [L.mas, maris.] The act of uniting a man and woman for life; wedlock; the legal union of a man and woman for life. Marriage is a contract both civil and religious, by which the parties engage to live together in mutual affection and fidelity, till death shall separate them. Marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity,and for securing the maintenance and education of children.

Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled. Heb.13.

1. A feast made on the occasion of a marriage.

The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king, who made a marriage for his son. Matt.22.

2. In a scriptural sense, the union between Christ and his church by the covenant of grace. Rev.19.

 

In less than 200 years our country has gone from defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman for life, as something that was instituted by God to last till death, to seeing it as a legally recognized union between two people. Our country no longer even gives marriage the distinction of being only between a man and a woman.

In our country today marriage is now seen as a relationship between two people that is recognized by law. That’s it. That’s what it boils down to. There’s nothing special about it, it’s not sacred, it’s not holy, It’s not even endorsed by God. It’s simply recognized by the law.

What happened in those 200 years that dictionary makers would go from defining marriage based off Scriptural standards to defining it as little more than a business partnership? The problem isn’t in the dictionary or even in the minds of the people writing it. The problem is in our country, in our culture. It’s the same problem that ensured I grew up seeing marriage as nothing special. In reality the exposure I had to what marriage looked like should have taken all the faith I had in marriage and turned me away from it.

The best way I can describe my childhood experiences with married couples would be that marriage meant fighting. It was a struggle at best and outright violent at worst. It meant keeping secrets and trying to hide the choices you made from your spouse. That was the type of example that I grew up seeing.

Somewhere in my life the Lord planted a different kind of belief in marriage. One that went deep and ensured I would find happiness in being married. It took years before I understood that the deep beliefs I held in marriage and what it should be matched the Biblical teaching on marriage.

Quite honestly we’re given a very simple set of rules for what marriage should be.

“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, ⁵ and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? ⁶ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

In just a few sentences Jesus defined what marriage is.

 He created them male and female.

Man shall leave mother and father and hold fast to his wife.

The two shall become one flesh.

What God has joined together, let not man separate.

That’s a pretty simple definition. There was nothing in that about a legal union. Nothing about it being between anyone but a male and a female. And there was no ignoring the fact that man was not to end what God brought together.

But our society has forgotten that. Marriage is no longer defined in those terms. We’re rapidly approaching a time when marriage may not be defined on any terms. I read an article about a year ago about a couple that has what they call an open marriage. Both the husband and wife in that marriage were free to have relationships with anyone they wanted at any time. They were both okay with that and said that they could never be happy in a traditional marriage. That is only one example of what marriage has become in our society.

There are so many more and the majority of them look nothing like the definition Christ gave for it. Unfortunately that is a part of our modern society in this fallen world. Like so many other things in today’s world marriage holds little importance.

And it shows in everything from what we see when we go anywhere in public to the definition of marriage in today’s dictionary verses a dictionary written in the 1800’s.