Psalm 5

Tonight I found myself reading in Psalms. I read several before I got to Psalm 5. I found myself equally enjoying it and hurting over it. The parts that I identified with for myself were enjoyable but the parts where I thought of others that fit the descriptions in the verses made me hurt.

I actually found myself identifying with this particular Psalm for several reasons. In one way I identified with it for myself.

Give ear to my words, O Lord;
    consider my groaning.

I have been in prayer a lot lately. Hoping the Lord would hear and grant my petitions. I’ve found myself begging Him for the outcome I pray for. I’ve heard of those that essentially walk up to the Lord, tell them what they want or need and know that He will hear their requests. I can’t do that. There’s just something in me that keeps me from ever demanding anything of my Lord. So instead I beg Him.

² Give attention to the sound of my cry,
    my King and my God,
    for to you do I pray.

This is more in keeping with the way I approach my Lord. Not all that long ago my daughter asked me, as I spoke of someone else, if they say God the same way I do. I had no idea what she was talking about and so I questioned her. She told me that I say it… ‘like this, God’…and she said God with a reverence I knew she didn’t feel and that in that moment I knew didn’t come close to the way I said God. I could identify with verse two…Give attention to the sound of my cry…because I’ve been crying out in prayer to Him, begging Him for what I ask, and knowing that His will is going to prevail no matter how much I beg and still I beg because I can’t do anything else.

In the second part of that verse I find myself identifying with the way I imagine the Psalmist may have said…my King and my God…with a deep reverence. I imagine He knew full well who he was approaching and that he may have said those words with a inflection that fully acknowledge with the tone of his voice exactly Who it was that he was addressing.

³ O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice;
    in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you^[a] and watch.

And then came the verses that made me hurt…

⁴ For you are not a God who delights in wickedness;
    evil may not dwell with you.

Verse four didn’t hold much pain, it just reminded me of how my Lord feels about wickedness, evilness. But now as I think about it…and I’m not trying to put anything into Scripture that isn’t there…but I think of it just a little different than I did as I read it. …evil may not dwell with you… I don’t know if that part is saying that those that practice evilness cannot know the Lord, cannot be saved, but for me…as I write this…that is what I think of. It reminds me that the wicked cannot dwell with, abide in, Christ.

⁵ The boastful shall not stand before your eyes;
    you hate all evildoers.

This was where I began to think of who these verses were speaking of. What started out as something I could identify with for my own sake turned into something I saw painfully, identified with when I’d rather not have, because of who it represented. Evildoers are all those that aren’t in Christ, even when our human hearts don’t want to think of them as evildoers.

⁶ You destroy those who speak lies;

This part at least narrowed the field a little. Here it speaks specifically of those that lie. But then I think of just how many have told lies. Of the lies I, myself have spoken in my life. Oh how I must have hurt my Lord with every one of them.

    the Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.

For a God that so many claim is love and only love, this Psalm alone uses some pretty strong words that show otherwise…abhors…hate…destroy. And that’s just so far.

⁷ But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love,
    will enter your house.

I will enter His house through His love even though I did nothing to deserve it, even though if it hadn’t been for the mercy He chose to show me I would be just like those that he declares His hate for, just like those He abhors, just like those He will destroy.

I will bow down toward your holy temple
    in the fear of you.
⁸ Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness
    because of my enemies;
    make your way straight before me.

Oh, how I identify with that. I can’t count the number of times I have prayed that He would keep me on the narrow path. I can’t count the number of times I said that I wished He would just put me where He wants me and when I strayed from that place that He’d reach down, pick me up, and put me back where He wanted me.

I’ve had family members tell me to be very careful saying that because I wouldn’t really want Him to do that but what they didn’t understand was that I very much did want Him to do just that.

⁹ For there is no truth in their mouth;
    their inmost self is destruction;

Again I am reminded of who they are. I’m reminded of those that I know that have destroyed themselves through the hardening of their hearts, through the denial of the God that Scripture says they know exist but suppress the knowledge of. I know the Lord has set their path and where they are may be where they stay for all their earthly life of the Lord may choose to save them when the time is right for them but right now…I see the destruction that their own hearts have caused for them, a destruction they will not acknowledge.

their throat is an open grave;
    they flatter with their tongue.
¹⁰ Make them bear their guilt, O God;
    let them fall by their own counsels;
because of the abundance of their transgressions cast them out,
    for they have rebelled against you.

As I read that I wonder how they could have said such a thing. When I read it I was reminded of those I love that fall into that category and how much I pray for their salvation and here the Psalmist is asking the Lord to cast them out.

¹¹ But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;

let them ever sing for joy,

There is great rejoicing in knowing that I belong to Christ.

and spread your protection over them,
    that those who love your name may exult in you.
¹² For you bless the righteous, O Lord;
    you cover him with favor as with a shield.

And there’s guilt in that part. While I know the difference between those that belong to Christ and those that don’t…I also know that I didn’t choose Christ, He chose me, and I know that those that are never saved are left in their wickedness because the Lord left them there.