Whatever that is

My husband has found himself in the midst of a group of large men whom he has the ability to share Christ with. After quite some time in the midst of these men, my husband told me he didn’t feel like he was among these men for their salvation. This particular group of men, he said, didn’t seem to have any interest in Christ beyond the most superficial way.

He said they would curse through telling him how they were ‘Christians’. These men, it seems are totally lost.

A friend of my husband’s said he firmly believes my husband is having an impact simply because he is there. This friend  spoke of the impact my husband has had on his life and how my husband needed to do nothing but be himself. He spoke of how my husband speaks of Christ without saying a word.

Simply put my husband lives out Scripture. He doesn’t just read and study it, he does it.

And that very thing…his friends says…is all that is needed to point people to Christ. And still my husband felt the inability to get through to this group of men.

This group of men…it seems…are happy in their situation, happy in their worlds where the desires of the flesh rule all. They can’t comprehend the idea of giving up anything, much less everything, for Christ.

As I think of the situation my husband has encountered, and his frustration with not seeing any fruit from his efforts, I am reminded of Paul, and the other apostles, but it’s to Paul that my mind goes. Maybe because I am most familiar with the teachings of Paul, or maybe because I enjoy Paul’s writings the most, either way, I think of him.

Paul was a man of great influence, a soldier. He had power. He had status. He was used to getting things done simply because he told those under him to do them. When he spoke, things happened.

Then the Lord took hold of his life and turned it upside down. Instead of the hunter, he became the hunted. Instead of the arrester, he became the arrested. Instead of the leader, he became the slave.

Here was a man that had once held great power and importance, and in what probably felt like the blink of an eye, he lost it all. He had the world, but he gained Christ. He had earthly status, he gained eternity.

What must a man that had once held such power, who had been a leader among men, have felt as he stood before group after group telling them of Christ, warning them against the sins they were committing, telling them what they should be doing…and seeing them do the opposite….what must he have felt as he tried to lead this group of Christians?

What frustration he must have felt…a man used to issuing orders…at seeing the people he had just given such clear instructions to not listen to him. He wrote these instructions out for them, gave them the rules and guidelines in writing.

Did he ever stand in the midst of those he was speaking to…leading…and want to say, ‘what is my purpose here? I see no fruit.’

In our American society so many ‘churches’ and their pastors and others are used to seeing immediate results. They ‘bring people to Christ.’ They count success by the number of people they can save in a day, a program, or a year. It’s easy…just give them an emotional experience that makes them want to go to heaven , then get them to pray a short prayer. Boom. Instant ‘Christian.’

But those instant ‘Christians’ aren’t really Christians. Those short prayers don’t save a person. A three year old that gets counted among the saved…is not saved. Neither is the ten year old…or the ninety year old. It takes more than a prayer to truly save a person.

Christ must save them.

Paul knew this. He wasn’t trying to win souls. He was trying to guide the Christians that Christ saved. Yes, he may have gotten to some of them before their salvation, he may have planted the seed, may have laid the groundwork, but he wasn’t the one that did the saving.

But what frustration might he have felt as he tried to lead the people he encountered. How many people did he talk of Christ with only to see them walk away from him and continue in sin? How many stood before him and claimed to agree while spewing vile words?

How many times did Paul want to wonder what his purpose is?

How many times did he feel as if he was beating his head against a brick wall? I think of a very brief conversation I had with an atheist not all that long ago and how speaking with that person was like speaking with…I don’t even know what. To say the conversation was a complete lack of time would be an understatement. There simply was no point in trying to talk to them. They had absolutely no belief in God and therefore disregarded everything I said. I got the impression that this person disregarded me.

I read somewhere once that college students are being taught that God is something for the uneducated…the poor…to hold onto because their lives are so awful.

This atheist, as I was told by someone that knew them fairly well, discounts anyone that is uneducated. If you can’t talk to this person on an intellectual basis they consider you to be less than nothing.

How many people like that did Paul encounter?

How many times did he want to say…I’m doing nothing here.

My husband still speaks of these men he has the chance to influence even in a small way. I hear in the things he says that he still runs against the same problems. And yet…like my husband’s friend…I know that my husband is having a profound effect on these men. Whether my husband ever sees the fruit of his efforts, he is having an effect.

Again, I think of the atheist. I don’t imagine I made any kind of an impact on him…but did I have an impact on anyone that may have contact with him? Or might he, even in derision, speak of the things I said to someone I may never meet, and my words have an effect on that other person. I just don’t know.

Matthew 10 tells us of Christ sending the disciples out. He tells them not to worry of what they will say because it isn’t them speaking but the Lord speaking through them.

The Lord uses our words and influence in ways that we may never see.

My husband my never see any fruit of his encounter with these men, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be fruit, sometime, somewhere.

How nice it would be if we could see the numbers of ‘conversions’ the way the professing ‘churches’ do. How nice to be able to walk and talk with people and ‘lead them to Christ’ and know when we walked away that we had gained another ‘Christian.’ But that isn’t the way it is. In Matthew we are told that even our prayers are private.

How much more so might our salvations be?

I was recently told by a man of how he went to bed one night very much against God…and how he woke up the next morning totally repentant and no longer the man he was.

That wasn’t a public ‘confession of faith’, it wasn’t being ‘led to Christ’, it was a private occurrence between that man and the Lord.

Paul had a very public conversion, yet in the midst of all those people…they had no idea what was happening to him.

Jeremiah was sent to warn a people that wouldn’t listen. He wanted enough tears to be able to cry day and night for the ‘slain’ of his people (Jeremiah 9:1).

Salvation…when it comes…is on the Lord’s timetable. It is according to his plan. As is the purpose to our lives. We may think we know our purpose but what we think our purpose is may well be far from the purpose the Lord has for us.

But we can be sure of one thing…He has placed us where he has for a reason, there is a purpose in what we’re experiencing at any given moment. And sometimes…all we have to do is be ourselves to make a difference, to influence others.

We are here because we are the Lord’s and He is working out His plan through us.

Whatever that is.