I am his weakness, he is my strength

I recently saw a quote that basically said…when a man loves a woman she is his weakness, when a woman loves a man she is his strength.

I found that quote fascinating, powerful, and sad all at the same time. Fascinating because it says so much about the love that should be between a husband and wife…and those that will one day become husband and wife. Powerful because there’s so much truth in it…or there should be. And Sad because it failed to acknowledge just why that saying was so fascinating and powerful.

For me that quote perfectly describes what the Lord put in place when He created the first marriage, and in each marriage since then.

Scripture tells us…

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel… 1 Peter 3:7

That verse alone explains why a wife should be her husband’s weakness. I know in our fallen world that isn’t always the case. There are many married couples who seem to enjoy hurting each other far more than they do looking after the good of the other. Because my aim is to focus only on Biblical marriage (and because it hurts my heart to think of marriage any other way) I’m going to write this post with the thought of that Biblical marriage in mind.

And so, in thinking of the Biblical marriage…I can clearly see that the Lord intended for the wife to be her husband’s weakness. I can see that very thing in my husband. I can see it in the way he treats me, in the way he worries about me. When I think of my husband…I am honored to think of being his weakness.

My husband is the type of man that would do anything for anyone. He’d help anyone that needed help. But I also know that there’s something different in the way he would respond if I were to be threatened in some way. That’s normal. We all would respond just a little different when someone we love is in danger than we would for a stranger. Sad as it may be its our human nature.

The simple fact is that when someone we love is in danger we have more to lose…more at stake. And so our actions reflect that.

But even knowing all that…I think of what it means to be my husbands weakness. I think of what he would do for me. Never having put any of that to the test I know it to be true. In any situation I might care to imagine, I can see how I am my husband’s weakness. I know without ever experiencing it what he would do for me if need be. I also know that if ever I were threatened in any way my husband would not only respond in a way to protect me but also in a way to keep me safe, even if that meant going against his natural instincts.

Because I am his weakness.

 I am, by the Lord’s design, the weaker vessel in our marriage.

But that last paragraph has a flip side. Where I am his weakness, he is my strength. I know that in any given situation he gives me strength. There are times when I may not have the strength to face something…and I know I can draw on his strength. There may be times when my weakness is a hindrance and in those moments my husband is my strength.

There is something inherently understood throughout all of humanity. It is generally understood…and undeniable…that men are stronger than women. That strength shows up in both emotional and physical ways.

My husband recently moved our living room furniture around without showing any signs of it being the least bit heavy. If I had moved the same furniture I would have struggled with it and been forced to slide it across the floor where my husband lifted it. I am physically weaker than my husband is. That physical weakness is obvious and undeniable but that isn’t the kind of weakness and strength that that quote made me think of.

The strength and weaknesses that came to mind when I read that quote was emotional. It was a balancing of roles. A completing of two people that were once only one.

You see…in as much as I am my husband’s weakness…I am also his strength. Because I am a weak spot for him he knows he must be strong for me. He must stand in leadership. He be strong when he knows that I am weak. I make him weak, but I also make him strong.

I complete him in a way he would never be complete without me.

But again that has a flip side. Where my husband is my strength…he is also a weakness. Without my husband I know that I must be strong and face whatever comes. With my husband I know that I can lean on him, depend on him, let him be my strength and therefore I don’t have to. Whether it be in a physical way…I didn’t need to move the furniture because I knew my husband would…or in an emotional way…I can fall apart because he’s there to hold me together.

He completes me by allowing me to be the weaker vessel. He completes me because he fills places in my life, in my heart, in my soul, that would be empty without him.

I am his weakness.

He is my strength.