Sunday, January 19, 2020

Scripture told us that would happen...repost


The nonprofit Council for Contemporary Families reported that ‘AT the end of the 1950’s if you chose 100 children under age 15 to represent all children, 65 would have been living in a family with married parents, with the father employed and the mother out of the labor force. Only 18 would have had married parents who were both employed. As for other types of family arrangements, you would find only one child in every 350 living with a never-married mother!”

Reading those statistics is nearly mind boggling in light of our American culture and the statistics we have today. I don’t know exactly what those statistics are but I know that roughly one out of every two marriages end in divorce and we have ever growing numbers of babies being born to never-married and unmarried women.

The same report also stated that, “Today among 100 representative children, just 22 live in a married male-breadwinner family, compared to 23 living with a single mother (only half of whom have ever been married). Seven out of every 100 live with a parent who cohabits with an unmarried partner (a category too rare for the Census Bureau to consider counting in 1960) and six with either a single father or with grandparents but no parents.”

Those numbers are very nearly staggering and yet I wonder…what family situations aren’t even taken into consideration? How many children live with someone other than a parent or grandparent? How many claim to live with parents but live elsewhere? And where are the statistics of the 15 year olds raising children? Are they, the 15 year olds, numbered among the children or the parents?

A number of months ago I had someone tell me how vital the nuclear family is. This person pointed to the Bible and the ‘importance’ God places on the dad, mom, kids family to support their point. I am not now, nor did I then, discount the importance of parents in a child’s life. I’m not discounting the importance of a dad and a mom in a child’s life. But..just as I pointed out to the person telling me that, I must point out now…Scripture gives us many examples of families that never mention both parents. We are shown children of widows, prostitutes, even children whose dad’s made them leave home (Ishmael).

The nuclear family is important, there’s no doubt about that, but Scripture doesn’t show us that it is the vital state of raising children.

My husband can offer things to our children that I just can’t. I can’t teach our son to be a man because I don’t know what it’s like to be a man. I can’t give him the kind of male attention that he seems to need because I’m not a man. I can’t give our daughters what my husband can. There’s a reason for the term, ‘daddy’s little girl’. Girls experience something with a dad that they don’t get from a mom. But I can offer our children something that my husband can’t. It’s a balance. We both bring things to our children that the other can’t give them. And together we give our children something that they would not have without having the two of us as parents.

Grandparents give children something that parents can’t give them. A perfect example of this is the way a child wants to eat when at their grandparent’s house. Even if that child isn’t hungry, let them go to grandma and grandpa’s and they will be starving. There is something special about the food at grandparent’s homes that food in their own homes just doesn’t have. One of my sisters used to look forward to going to our grandparents house because she loved to eat ‘mayonnaise sandwiches’ while she was there. Those sandwiches were exactly what they sound like…mayonnaise on bread. Nothing special to it and nothing we didn’t have on hand all the time at home. But, oh, the joy she got in eating something most would consider nasty while at grandma and grandpa’s.

There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child and no matter the child’s home situation, all children are raised, in a sense, by the community around them and the extended family that play a role in their lives.

How many children model their lives after their favorite aunt or the great grandpa they barely remember but whose stories make him sound like hero material? How many children look down on their parents because they inforce rules that the child doesn’t want to live with but hold the neighbor in high regard?

I have heard many people speak of the downfall of America, have heard just as many talk of how the disintegration of the family has contributed, or outright caused, that downfall. The person that told me how important the nuclear family is also told me that it doesn’t make any difference if the dad is good or bad just so long as a child has one. And if the dad is going to be out of the home for any length of time then the family is destroyed because there is no dad physically present.

I would be the first person to admit that a dad plays an important part in a child’s life. But I’d also be one of the first standing up for the fact that children can, and do, thrive in any family situation. There are many children living in foster care that are better off with the single foster mother than they were with their biological mom and dad. There are children that live with both their biological parents that must watch their parents harm each other and even the children, and some of that harm comes only in the form of words.

I must ask…how much does the child gain when they say…’Daddy hits mommy and mommy cries’…I heard that come straight from the mouth of a toddler.

I’m not aiming to support anything with this. My goal isn’t to write in favor of any family dynamic, although there are some that I would write against. My intent in writing this is to think of how the Lord has allowed and made the dynamics of family change throughout time.

My sister and I have spoken often in the past of how much more important marriage was in the 1800’s and before. Of how men and women in those days literally needed one another to survive. Often the men didn’t know how to care for the house and the children, and if they did know how they were too busy working outside the home, even if that work was in their own fields within sight of home, and providing for the needs of their family, to be able to take care of the house and the children. During the same time women had very limited options for earning money to be able to provide for the needs of their families if they didn’t have a husband or other male relative to provide for them.

Life often required the partnership of two different people to be able to care for a house and the members of the family that resided there. Men had one job, women another. They had roles within the family and those roles were important.

Not all that far from somewhere I used to live was a historic village. In that village was a log cabin that had survived from the 1800’s. I have been inside that cabin. It is small and sparsely furnished, with only one room and a loft area. There is a very interesting story behind that cabin…rather, there is an interesting story behind the family that lived in that cabin. The cabin belonged to a man that was a widower with six children. I don’t know how long he was widowed or how he came to be widowed. All I know of their story starts with the fact that the man was widowed and had six children. Finding himself alone to care for six children he went…somewhere…and came home with a wife, a woman that was widowed and had six children of her own.

He moved her and her children into his cabin, that one room cabin with a loft, and they not only raised their 12 children there, together, but they had six more children together. And they all lived in that one room cabin.

I loved that story the moment I heard it. There was just something special about the life that family lived. Today, I can’t remember the name of the family but I sure remember their story.

And I think of the hand that worked behind the scenes to bring it all about. I don’t know the condition of the wife’s first marriage. Did she love that first husband? Or did she marry him out of need? Was he good to her or did he abuse her? Did she grieve when he died? Or was she grateful to be free of him? I don’t know any of that but I know that she had to marry that first husband to have those six children. Children the Lord obviously wanted to be born.

I could ask the same questions about the husband and his first wife. Did he love her? Was he devastated at her death? Those are questions I have no way of knowing, there may well be no one that knows those answers left to answer them. But I do know that just as with his second wife, the events that happened did so because the Lord wanted them to happen.

And the Lord wanted the six children born to that couple after their first spouses died to be born. There was a purpose far beyond what that family probably ever saw to the life that they lived. And there was a hand that controlled it all.

The person that told me of the importance of a dad in the family unit, an importance I’m not disputing, spoke of the dad as if the children cannot thrive and grow into what they should be without the dad there, even if he is a bad dad. But in families where there is no dad…the Lord placed those children there.

The statistics that I gave above…in the 1950’s the families were the way they were because the Lord made them be that way. And the statistics of today…the families are the way they are because the Lord has made them that way.

Sin has grown and multiplied among the human population so that things have grown worse and worse on earth. Scripture told us that would happen. Things have become evil. Scripture told us that would happen. Children are hurt and left to live in less than ideal situations…because of the evil sinfulness that permeats the human hearts…a sinfulness that is growing rampant like an epidemic.

Scripture told us that would happen.

I have even been told that there is a war against the family.

Scripture told us that there would be wars. Whether one of those wars is an undeclared, but no less real, war on the family or not…

Scripture told us it would happen.

The Lord had a plan for mankind before he created the world and that plan is being worked out day by day, person by person, in the lives of each and every person ever created because the Lord’s hand is controlling it all so that His plan can be fulfilled to the very end.

Scripture told us that would happen.

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Death is a lesson I did not want to learn

In the weeks that have passed since my mother's death I have learned much. Death has a way of slapping us in the face with all that's important and showing us just what isn't important. Scripture tells us that when it warns us that the days are short and the time is evil, when we are told our lives are but a vapor. Reading it in Scripture and understanding with my mind, though, is not quite the same thing as understanding with my heart.

Death...

Is incomprehensible.

Horribly painful.

And completely eye opening.

I have learned that in the last 3 1/2 weeks but now I once again face death. As I struggle through the loss of my mother...

My grandmother is hovering somewhere between life and death. Here but not quite here. Her last days are upon us. We do not know the hour or the minute the Lord has appointed for her final breath but we know that time is quickly coming.

She is fading fast, going downhill with a steadiness that can almost be seen in minute by minute increments of time. We are forced to watch her hold on while wanting to keep her badly and wishing the Lord would use time to spare her agony in these final moments of life.

And I am forced to see and learn yet more of life, and death, than I ever wanted to know. Death has marked me in a way that has left me forever changed.

I remember the moment that I realized I was now an orphan. That knowledge came less than 48 hours after my mother left this earth. Now as I wait, almost with baited breath, for my Grandmother to leave us, too, I face thoughts and a new normal that will never be normal again.

The two women that have had the most profound influence on my life have left me, one through death, one through alzheimer's that will soon be death also. I thought I was ready for my grandmother to pass from this life into eternity. We have watched her steadily decline for years. But...I'm not ready.

I thought I was.

I was wrong.

My grandmother hasn't been my grandmother for a very long time and yet...she's still my grandmother. Her mind is lost to me but she is still here with me. I can still touch her. I can hug her. I can tell her I love her.

And the moment is coming when that will no longer be possible.

I'm not ready for that moment but I know it's coming. I must face it. I must get through it. My grandmother taught me much in life and a lot of what I am is because the Lord used her to make me this way. I know that. I see much of her in me. She was even the first person to teach me the Truths of Scripture. I owe her a debt I can never repay.

I owe them both debts I can never repay.

And I know they wouldn't want me to. The only payment they ever wanted was love. We all shared years and years of love and because of these two women, women that live on in me, I am here. The Lord used them to give me life.

Just yesterday I had two women, both of whom have been a huge part of my life, both of whom have lost their mother, tell me that I am the closest thing to a mom that they have now. Hearing them say that was an honor to me. I am to them what my mother and grandmother were to me.

Life truly is a circle, one generation comes and goes and the next generation steps into place. In my case, two generations will soon be gone, but I am here as is the generation under me. The circle continues. The Lord's plan keeps playing out. It's His story to write and He is writing it well.

I do not know what He has in store for my future but I do know that He has it all planned out. I must simply live it and wait to see how He has written it for me. I also know that He is using this moment in time to teach me lessons that life never taught me.

I lost my mother with no warning. I am losing my grandmother moment by moment and I must somehow find it in myself to turn her lose. To let her go.

The shock of death was horrible. The agony of finding a way to say, "it's okay. You can leave us." is no less horrible.

Death is a lesson I did not want to learn.


Monday, January 6, 2020

What death taught me

Life is fragile, so very fragile. I've thought it many times before, even marveled at how fragile we are while being nearly indestructible. The Lord did a mighty work when He created humans.

We come into this world so helpless, so defenseless and no matter how weak or strong we are, we are always helpless and defenseless before God. He holds our very lives in His hands.

And we take life for granted.

In Scripture we are told to redeem the time for the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16) and that life is but a vapor, here today, gone tomorrow.

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business, and make a profit.” 14You do not even know what will happen tomorrow! What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  James 4:13-14

We are here but for a very short amount of time and yet we live each day as though our days will never end. Not all that long ago I had the thought that the world just goes on. No matter what happens, no matter how huge or great or awful a thing in 'your' life happens...the world just goes on. Even when death happens, life goes on for everyone, even for those that hurt the most. The world doesn't stop. Time doesn't stop.

I thought that before death taught me how true it is.

It's been just under three weeks since death intruded into my life. It didn't come gently or as an expected visitor but came crashing in suddenly. It was sneaky. It came silently while we were all deluded in the belief that life would keep going.

Sure, I knew that death could happen. I often say or think that we are all on a collision course with death. That from the moment of our conception we are dying. Slowly. Quietly. Ever so subtly. We are always dying. Our days are here but for such a short time and once a moment is past, we can never get it back.

I knew that.

But death taught me to understand it.

Death slipped into my comfortable world. It shook up my innermost being. It turned my life upside down and left me reeling. It ripped something precious out of my hands, out of my heart, and now I am left with all the memories, good and bad, and the longing for just a little bit longer with someone I dearly loved.

I would like a do-over. A chance to fix the broken places. The ability to relive the perfect ones. I'd like one more hug. Another phone call. And I would love the chance to say all the things I didn't say. Not because I couldn't have said them but because life is deluding and I never thought my time with my loved one would end so abruptly.

My mother.

Gone in an instant.

With all but no warning. She was yanked from my life, from our lives, and we are all left reeling in the aftermath. Questions like, 'how can she be gone', fill even my mind and heart even though I am constantly reminding myself that it was her time to go, that she had lived out the Lord's plan for her on earth. I take comfort in knowing that this, even this, is in His hands, and yet...

I am human and I hurt.

I seek for answers that are not there, only the knowledge that her appointed time on earth is up. I long for comfort that does not come because the comfort I seek is her presence. I looked into the faces of her children and grandchildren and remind myself that we all live because the Lord used her to give us life.

And like some kind of crazy roller coaster...her loss hits in waves of happy memories and despairing pain. She is lost to us forever.

What death taught me...

Is that we are never safe from death. We go about our lives, so caught up in the daily tasks, and do not see the hourglass slowly running out of sand that dangles just above our heads. Death taught me that we are all ticking time bombs and that the only chance we have to live and love is right now.

This moment.

This moment is all that matters because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. This moment. It's all that we have.

What death taught me is that those moments slip by without us realizing how precious they really are. I remember my last moments with my mother. My last days. Oh, the joy we had in that visit. And I see it now for what it was, a true blessing, a miracle of time, and for what I didn't know it was...one last visit with my mother before the Lord removed her from my life.

What death taught me....

Is that there are no do-overs. We can't go back and say what we wish we had said. That hindsight really is 20/20 and in looking back, and talking with others, life paints a picture that I couldn't see through my own eyes in the moment as I lived that moment.

What death taught me is that what I think things are probably aren't really the way they are. And that grace takes on a whole new meaning when paired against the reality of death.

It has taught me that I will never regret spending time with someone but I will regret all the time I did not spend with them. I will never regret appreciating someone while I have them but I will regret taking them for granted and not seeing what I had until after it's gone and it's too late to get it back.

What death taught me is that I will long to have said more kind and gentle words and will regret any harsh or even semi-harsh words. Death taught me that life...is precious and that we should appreciate all our loved ones for the miracles that they are and see that we are blessed to be a part of their life. And to have them in ours.

What death taught me is...

Love.

Love is what matters.

Love is what makes the world go round.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 esv

Love is the greatest commandment and it is so fragile, so fleeting. Here today, gone tomorrow. Because life is fragile. Here today, gone tomorrow. 

What death taught me is to treasure the moments because life is but a vapor and those we love won't always be here. 

Sunday, January 5, 2020

Women are being cheated...repost

Women are being cheated

It never fails to amaze me how things often come together to show us something, teach us something, or in today's case for me, lead me to write about something.

Just this morning I read an article on foster parenting. The article in itself was both profound and extremely simple. There was little to the article other than trying to help people see where all the foster kids come from and where they are in the daily goings on of life. The big point seemed to be that behind every drug raid, car accident, fire, domestic battle, and arrest there is often a child that must be cared for, an innocent child that may have nowhere else to go but to a foster home.

The other aspect of that article was to try and show people how they can help those foster kids, and explaining that helping them doesn't always come in the form of fostering them. The article gave a list of things to do for foster parents that will help the whole family taking in the child...take them dinner, go shopping for the family, help provide the things that child needs, etc...

This morning was also the result of a couple of things in my own life that got me to thinking about...well, things. My husband and I had a couple of conversations, one about something he enjoys doing in his down time. A conversation that is fairly regular around here but for some reason today that conversation struck me the wrong way. It rubbed against feelings and upset me. I don't think my husband is aware of that...he will be when he reads this though. But this morning that conversation came very close to making me cry.

Why?

I have no idea. I can only say that I'm at a point in my life where thoughts and feelings sometimes get the better of me for absolutely no reason at all.

Almost immediately after that conversation I saw one of those Arminian 'Christian' poster things. This one was about "I" asked God for this and He said 'No'. There was a long list of things that 'I' supposedly asked God for most of which made no sense...things like asking God for more faith only to be told 'no' that He will not supply more faith that it is our place to develop more faith. At the very end of this paragraph it said 'I' asked God to love other people more deeply and God said...something to the effect of 'finally you asked for the right thing' then it went on to say something like treasure these moments.

And not long after that my grown daughter text me out of the blue. I called her back, disrupted her at her work, and got to hear her voice. It was a precious moment that made my morning just because I got to hear her voice.

Then came the second conversation with my husband, this one instigated by me. There is a huge company, a company that seems to have their hand in everything, raking in millions (or more) every year, that is now trying to promote an agenda in the children's movies they make. There latest...stunt...hit the news this last week and has had many people up in arms, some vowing to boycott the company, some vowing to have nothing to do with the latest stunt, and others...others supporting this move or claiming its a way to discuss certain issues with their kids. But today I saw a woman promoting a secondary company that is owned by this huge company and wondered if this woman knew what she was promoting. Then I wondered what I might have dealings with that I may not know this company owns. So I looked it up and found out that this huge company owns far more than I thought they did. Not that it really matters.

But I went and shared some of what I learned with my husband. That got us started on a conversation where my husband pointed out that all these companies, all the people that hate God, will promote sinful things just because those sinful things fill their hearts. And they will want everyone to embrace what they love.

I agree with that. But the conversation moved on from there and my husband said that those same people hate women not working. And they do. Oh, how they do. I can't count the number of times I have had someone say something derogatory or make faces that clearly told me their thoughts when they found out I am a stay at home wife and mother. Some women simply say 'I could never do that' and others...well, others say lots of other things. I've even been asked why in the world I would ever want to do that. And just about every one of those encounters has come from other women.

I've had relatives tell me that my money belongs to my husband and that my car isn't my car it's my husbands car. Now, technically, my car is registered to my husband but then...my husbands vehicle is registered to me, so... what does any of that mean? And why do people not see that husbands and wives own all together? Why don't they see that's whats mine belongs to my husband and what's his belongs to me? Why the division in marriage in any way? Why not see a married couple as a unit and not as a 'that belongs to your husband'? My husband doesn't think of our car as his car even though it's registered to him...he calls it my car. And he doesn't think of his vehicle as mine even though it is registered to me...he calls it his. And the money he provides us...he calls it ours, unless it's in my possession and then he calls it mine. So why do other people, people who really have no business in our personal life, refer to it as anything else?

Because there is an agenda. A push by people and companies to want women working outside the home, to want people to put there kids in day care and public school, to want...well, something that they want for all people because they have some idea of that's how things should be and they base their ideas on nothing more than their own thought of what is right and wrong.

And in the midst of all this that has happened in little over two hours I sat down to look at a magazine that came in the mail the other day and I haven't taken the time to look at yet, in fact, I had to hunt it down when I decided to look at it. I didn't even know where it was.

And there inside the front page was a note from the woman that puts out this magazine, her own personal ministry, telling of how she was only able to publish one magazine last year despite her intent to publish no less than four a year because they publish when donations allow and last year the money just didn't come in. Then she told of how they had had four weddings in their family in the last year and how important she thinks it is to have all the family involved in weddings because friends will come and go in a persons life but your kids will one day look at pictures of family and be thrilled to see how aunt or uncle has changed over the years.

When I turned the page, the first article in the magazine was written by a woman that started her story by saying she has kids in age from five to adult and that she had lunch with her grown son just the other day and wiped food out of his beard. Than she marveled at the fact that he had a beard and said it was just yesterday that she washed peanut butter off his face. And now the little boy that vowed to live with her forever is married and has a beard.

And I thought of my grown daughter, the daughter that I spoke to this morning, and of my son, the son that used to tell me he was going to marry me when he grows up.

And I thought of all the other things, all the million and one things, that add up in a day. Do those women that told me they could never be a stay at home mom realize that their little boys are falling in love with 'teachers' at day care and imagine marrying them instead of their mommy...not that any son should marry his mother but it is a natural part of little boyhood that is there and gone in the blink of an eye. Do the women that turned up their nose at the idea of spending every day with their family know the feeling of their preteen daughter sitting beside them on the couch, cuddling up close, just to talk to mom for a few minutes, do they know the joy of a day spent reading books, playing games, or even watching movies? Are those women there when the storms rage and their kids seek shelter in their lap? Are they there to go outside and watch the pouring rain or see their child's joy at playing in the rain?

Are those women that say they could never be a stay at home wife there to experience the joy of greeting her husband when he comes home from work? Are they there to do the things for him that make his life a little bit easier as he works to take care of her? Do they know the joy, contentment, and appreciation of knowing her husband is working hard, fighting the elements, dealing with people, so that she doesn't have to? Do they know the satisfaction brought when her husband thanks her for doing the things he doesn't have time to do? And do they know the joy of just being available whenever her husband wishes to spend his time with her?

Those are all little things, little moments, things that can easily be passed over or not even realized as we go about the course of our day. All the smiles, the hands to hold, faces to wipe, coats to button, shoes to tie, lunches to make, and cups of coffee to refill are so easily passed by as a woman 'could never do that' and so she spends her day working at some job, doing a million other things, and doing it all for someone that can and will replace her when the time is right. And it all happens while her kids idolize a teacher or friends mom, while their husband comes home to an empty house...while all the little moments of their family pass by without them knowing.

I used to work in a daycare, many, many years ago, and was told that I was never to tell a parent when their child took their first steps. We were to keep absolutely silent about that so that the parents could see their 'first' steps themselves. Only it was an allusion because that baby took it's first steps while with me. I witnessed that amazing moment in parenthood...to someone elses child. I dried tears, washed faces, tied shoes. I doctored owies, soothed nightmares, and rocked sick babies. Because mommy 'couldn't do that'. And because mommy couldn't do that she missed out on the baby that held onto my hair as it fell asleep, in seeing her baby smile for the first time, learn to crawl, learn to walk. In getting the steady stream of flowers from a child whose heart is trying to make the person they love happy. I got the colored pictures, the little hands in mine, and all the other little 'nothing' moments that make up a day in the life of a child.

And as I think of all those things, of all the kids that I played mommy to and of my own children and all the moments I shared with them. As I think of all the moments I've shared with my husband because I was home to share them....granted I get more moments than most because my husband works from home...I think of how empty life would be if I 'couldn't do that'.

And 'that' is what women are supposed to be. 'That' is what the Lord made us to be. "That'' is what we were created to be. I've never been a career woman, never wanted to leave my family so I could work. I've always longed to be 'that' wife, 'that' mom. And I can't imagine the emptiness that must come to those women that could never be 'that' mom, or 'that' wife.

Yet those very women, the women that miss out on so much with their husbands and children, try to tell me that I should give it all up to have what they have...I could have it all too. Only I do have it all. I have all the moments they never get. What satisfaction do they have when their boss congratulates them on a job well done? What enjoyment do they get at knowing they did their job well today? What fun do they have in their work meetings or parties?

Is it all enough to know that someone else saw their child's first real steps? Is it enough to know that another woman got the bouquet of flowers their child picked and that she was the one sharing their child's tea party? Was it enough to know that today someone else dried their child's tears and rocked them to sleep?

Or was it enough to offset the fact that their husband picked their kids up from school and their entire family came home to an empty house? Was it enough to know that when her husband wants time with her...she's too tired to give it? Or she has to focus on some project for work?

But then...some of those people that 'could never do that' also want me to believe that having a husband and children is a detriment to being happy and fulfilled. There are women out there that truly believe that, that push that on other women. And there are companies out there that put that into their products, fill their movies, songs, and books with it.

The thing is...all those people miss out on what's truly important, while they reject what the Lord says is right, they miss out on the baby smiles, the first steps, the thank you's for the cups of coffee, the conversations, the hugs, kisses, cuddles and love.

Look at all the things that women are cheated out of because they have bought into the lies of 'I could never do that' or even the agenda to make women think that being a wife and mother is somehow demeaning, even to the point of turning women into slaves. It's such a HUGE lie and those poor women don't see it. They are being cheated out of the greatest part of being a woman.

While women march in the streets, complain and proclaim to anyone that will listen that they are being treated as second class citizens, while they demand equal pay and equal rights...women are cheated out of the greatest part of being a woman.

Sunday, December 29, 2019

The females they were created to be...repost

The females they were created to be

Yesterday I came across something that I kind of wish I hadn't seen, something that had me confused about what it was at first and then, later, skimming past it and wanting to just put it out of my mind. I'm not sure what to call it, a poster...a flyer...a headline, I don't even know if it was a headline for an article or if what I saw was all their was to it but either way, hours after reading it I wanted to find it again. What I had seen was some kind of...I'll just call it a poster...for feminism.

Before I go any further, let me say that I have no idea what the feminists claim their movement is about. I don't know their goals or agendas. And I don't want to know. What I know about feminism is all I need to know. I know that feminism stands against what Scripture says a woman should be and I know that feminists in the past have ruined what I consider to be a good thing for women. Because of feminists and whatever agenda they were pushing women, as a whole, are not expected to be, nor can they be in a lot of cases, anywhere close to what Scripture says a woman should be.

All my life I wanted to be a wife and a mother. In typical childish fashion there were times I fell heavier on the side of wanting to be a wife and times I fell heavier on the side of wanting to be a mother but somewhere deep inside I always wanted to be both of those things. Trouble was I grew up in a time when it was encouraged for women to be more than a wife or a mother. When I was 19 I met a woman that was very motherly toward me. Our acquaintance was short but she was one of those women that just naturally mothered younger people, I suppose. I recall very well a conversation I had with her. I don't remember how it started or even who started it but at the time I had someone pushing me to go to college and I did not want to go. This person was very insistent that I should go and was willing to pay for me to go.

It was over that situation in my life that I had that conversation with the woman that kind of mothered me for the short time I knew her. I told her that I did not want to go to college, that I wanted only to be a wife and mother. Her answer was to tell me that I should go to college, that I could do both, college/career and be a wife and mother. Looking back, it seems to me that this woman may have been a struggling single mother, or at least had been at some point in her life, but I can't remember for sure. I do know that was why she encouraged me to go to college while it was being offered, because even if I became a wife the marriage may not last and I might wind up on my own, possibly with kids to raise, and a college education would help a whole lot.

She had a point, I suppose, but she missed the point I was trying to make. I wanted nothing but to be a wife and a mother. That was all. I didn't want to have a career while I was a wife and a mother. I didn't want to be in college and be a wife. I didn't want a JOB. I wanted to be a WIFE and a MOTHER. I wanted to be a stay at home wife. That was all I wanted. Nothing else held interest for me, at least not in the college/career lifestyle.

And somewhere along the way, in years long gone, women had ideas, ideas that may or may not have been labeled as feminism at the time, that women should be equal to men. They had the not-so-bright idea that women would be better off working than being a wife and a mother.

Those are my opinions but Titus 2 3-5 states very clearly what women should be and what they should do and nowhere in there does it say that a woman should work in the workplace, go to college, or be equal to men. Although at 19 I didn't know that, all I knew was that something inside me did not want to go the college/career route, even though I had been working off and on since I was 12 and pretty steady since I was 17. I was working but it wasn't what I wanted for my life and it wasn't because I didn't like working. As with everyone I had some jobs I liked and some I didn't. My reasoning went far deeper than a dislike of work, which I did not have, it was like something inside me longed for the chance to be a wife and a mother.

And that was in direct opposition to what feminists have worked for for who knows how many years.

When I was a teenager I had no idea there even was such a thing as a feminist but somewhere along the way I discovered that women in history had a fit over women not being allowed to work and ruined life for women for all time. Today people ask little girls what they want to be when they grow up and expect and answer like doctor, lawyer, or teacher. I'm pretty sure that I have told strangers not to ask my children that very question. Why can't kids be kids and little girls have dreams of being a wife and a mother and nothing else?

Because somewhere along the way someone got ideas about what women should be and those ideas are not what Scripture says they should be and now here we are with all these expectations for women based off 'women's rights' and feminism that directly oppose Scripture.

Which is what I came across yesterday. This poster that I saw was a list of things women do not have to be, I suppose but it simply said, 'women do not have to' followed by this list, in this order:

be thin
give birth
cook for you
have long hair
wear makeup
have sex with you
be feminine
be graceful
shave
diet
be fashionable
wear pink
love men
be the media's idea of perfection

Whew! That's some list and when I first saw it I couldn't figure out what in the world it was even about. So much of what that list says women don't have to do is the very essence of what women are. It wasn't until I saw that it was made by feminists that I began to understand what it was about. At that point I just wanted it out of my sight and I went on with my business but as the hours passed I began to think of that list and to wish I could see it again. I wanted to look with more attention to the things it said 'women don't' and I wanted to write about it. I really wanted to point out the problems with that list to the person who inadvertently brought it to my attention. Instead I found the list again and I'm writing about it. I will probably never say a word about it to the person who is responsible for me seeing that list. Because that person could not be swayed by anything I say on this topic. Not that I'm trying to sway anyone to my way of thinking but to point out the differences between what this poster said 'women don't' and what Scripture says women are.

And so, for my own piece of mind, I'm going to take this list, one 'women don't' at a time...

be thin...Women don't have to be thin. No, I suppose they don't. Women can and are many sizes for many reasons but Proverbs 23:20-21 speaks against being a glutton. I personally know women that have gained weight for medical reasons, as a result of medication they take, and for some reason simply cannot keep from gaining weight no matter how hard they try.

give birth... Women weren't specifically created to have children, although they were created for that reason too. Women were created first to be a wife, a help meet to her husband, and a side 'job', if you want to call it that, is to be a mother. I don't suppose women have to give birth but it is a huge part of being a woman. There are women in Scripture for whom being childless was an awful thing in their own eyes, women for whom barrenness is something akin to a curse, and in fact their are places in Scripture where the Lord does curse a person or nation by making the woman/women barren.

So, no, I don't suppose a woman must give birth to be a woman, not by any definition of the word, but part of being a woman is to have children, and most women, no matter what their beliefs are, want to have babies. There's just something inside women, something that can be seen in most little girls that go all soft at the sight of a baby, that just makes them want to have babies. I have a one year old niece and a one year old granddaughter both of whom get all happy and excited over seeing a baby in any form, even a doll that bears little resemblance to a real live baby. It's just built into females to like babies and most females begin to want a baby somewhere around the time they go through puberty. It is an inborn, or God given, trait of being a girl.

So what happens to make feminists say giving birth is something you don't have to do to be a woman. I don't imagine they are speaking of women who are infertile, and by the way speaking with infertile women, even women who can have babies but their husband cannot, would be eye opening for some. The desire to have a baby and be unable to do so for any reason is a horrible pain to bear and makes women go to great length and spend unending amounts of money to have a child. But I don't think that's what feminists are talking about, they don't seem to be affirming a woman's womanhood in cases where the woman is unable to have a baby, they seem to be saying that women can chose not to have a child and that is fine.

I'm going to hazard a guess here...I also think they are saying that if a woman has an abortion...which by the way, is giving birth...in order to not 'give birth' or have a child then that is perfectly fine and she is still a woman. I am, however, assuming that based on the fact that feminists seem to support murdering babies before birth all in support of women having the 'freedom' to chose to be what they want to be, to chose to experience what they want to experience, and to chose freedom from parenthood over the sanctity of life. And so they say a woman doesn't have to give birth to be a woman.

Well, yes. A woman isn't a woman based on the fact that she has had a child. She is a woman based on the fact that she was created female and she has grown through the childhood years into the adult years and is now a woman and not a little girl. In the beginning He created them male and female...(Matthew 19:4, Genesis 5:2). Women are women because they were created female and not for any other reason.

But Scripture does say that we are to be fruitful and multiply. Now I know that that is taken out of context a lot, when the Lord said that, he said it to a particular people not to all people throughout all of time, but we can look at that and see that it was His intention for babies to be born and we can see in His creation of people and animals that it was his intention for females to have the babies. He also said...children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward (Psalm 127:3).

If children are a heritage and a reward, and if the Lord used barreness as a punishment in Scripture (which we know he did) than what does it say for women who are going around eagerly flaunting the fact that women (presumably the one's that can have babies) don't have to give birth to be a woman?

cook for you...Presumably this means that a woman doesn't have to cook for a man to be a woman.

Umm...I would guess that that would go without saying. Again, a woman isn't a woman because of something she does, she is a woman because she was CREATED as a female. There is no other reason why she is a woman.

She does, however, have certain roles as a woman whether she likes it or not, whether she believes in the Lord, believes in Scripture, or not. Women don't have to cook for men to be women but as a whole, not just among Christians, women tend to be more hands on with household chores and child raising than men. That is the nature of our society, although it is a society that has already changed to almost beyond recognition and one that will continue to change far more than it already has.

But, that being said, the very nature of this statement and of this entire list of what women aren't is in direct defiance to what the Lord says a woman is. I don't know if the person that made this list, someone that presumably is a woman, realizes that just about everything in this list of what women aren't is in direct opposition of what their, most likely unacknowledged, Creator made them to be.

Titus 2 tells us what women should be, more specifically Titus 2:3-5 tells us what women should be...

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled,pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

THAT is what a woman is, what she should be. If we take that, or rather if we start with Genesis 5:2, they were created FEMALE and add to it Titus 2:3-5...women (female) are to be reverent, not slanderers, not drunks. They are to teach what is good to younger women, to love their husbands and children, be self controlled, pure, working at home (or in the home) kind, and submissive to their husband...we see what women should be. And well, that all seems to be the direct opposite of what this list of what women aren't is. 

And in keeping with that direct opposition to Scripture...if a woman to to work at home, which should naturally take in cooking, than the opposite is that she doesn't have to cook.

have long hair...There's only one way to respond to this...

but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory?  1 Corinthians 11:15

Again, direct opposition to Scripture. Now, I know there are many reasons why a woman might not have long hair. I have personally known two girls, they were kids, that simply could not get their hair to grow past their shoulders no matter how hard they tried. I have also known women that had no hair due to medication for illness, usually cancer. I understand their is a disease that causes hair to simply fall out. I have also known women who have had to cut their hair due to having headaches from  the weight of their hair. I know their are extenuating reasons why a woman might have short hair or even no hair, but I also know the majority of women that have short hair do it for their own personal reasons which have nothing to do with health. 

And I highly doubt the objection to long hair in this list is speaking of medical reasons why a woman might have short hair. This list is speaking purely of a woman's CHOICE to have short hair or even to shave their heads. 

A while back I read something that said you can often tell feminist women by simply looking at the way their hair is cut and styled. After that I began to kind of notice women's hair. And I did notice that there are some hair cuts that women wear that if you spend any time around that woman, even in a passing way in the grocery store, it's not hard to notice that they do have a way about them that defies what womanhood should be.

wear makeup...Honestly, I can't recall ever seeing anything that says that a woman has to wear makeup to be a woman. In a strictly secular way, makeup is not required to be considered a woman. I have never been able to tell a difference in the way people treat me from the times I wear makeup and the times I do not. Most people don't really seem to care.

It's kind of like our shoes, unless someone happens to like our shoes and takes the time to comment, or if they really don't like our shoes and either comment or think those comments to themselves, no one really cares what shoes we wear.

In the same manner, no one really cares if a woman wears makup or not. As a woman you aren't treated differently based on whether or not you wear makeup. Now, I have noticed that certain groups of people tend to wear more makeup, or wear it in a certain way and I guess among those circles they might get treated a certain way based off their makeup, but since I have never run in those circles I really can't say for sure.

I do think the point behind this particular item being on this list is the fact that men, as a whole, tend to favor the look of women wearing makeup. And since feminists seem to be very anti-man I would assume that this was added to the list to be in defiance of men that like to see women in makeup.

As for Scripture...As far as I know there is nothing in it that specifically says a woman should not wear makeup. There are many verses that speak against adorning ourselves in gold, pearls, costly array , of putting on of apparel, or of loving the things of the world, all of which I would assume could take in makeup. There are, however some verses that do speak of makeup in a less than favorable light...

And [when] thou [art] spoiled, what wilt thou do? Though thou clothest thyself with crimson, though thou deckest thee with ornaments of gold, though thou rentest thy face with painting, in vain shalt thou make thyself fair; [thy] lovers will despise thee, they will seek thy life. Jeremiah 4:30 KJV

2 Kings 9:30 speaks of Jezebel painting her face and well, Jezebel wasn't exactly a woman that is to be looked up to.

But again, It would seem that putting women not having to wear makeup on this list seems to be more of a defiance thing than anything else. In our society makeup has been traditionally seen as a woman thing and men have been known to appreciate that thing in a woman. It's more about the role of women, as in women wear makeup because they are women, than anything else. Or so it seems to me.

have sex with you... Oh, boy. Do I even want to touch on this one. The answer is No, I do not want to touch this but since it's on the list...here goes.

Let's start with...Women should not be having sex with 'you', whoever 'you' happens to be. Here is another perfect example of how feminists have ruined womanhood for everyone. Gone are the days when purity was prized. Gone are the days when men expected, and demanded, to marry women that were virgins, when they prized having a woman that was untouched by any man but them.

Today men are happy to have a woman that will have sex with them and they are more than happy to get what, in many cases, amounts to an unpaid prostitute. When I was in high school I went to school with a girl that at 16 or 17 announced to the entire class that she had already had sex with 8 different boys. There was no shame in her announcement, no disgust in those that heard her announce it. It was simply accepted as matter of fact, as normal, and nothing was said against it.

There was a time when purity was prized, valued, and women that were chaste were considered to be upstanding women while women that were not virgins at the time of marriage were fallen women, ruined. If a woman lost, through any means, her virginity before marriage than most men did not want her. In some cases she would have no choice but to resort to prostitution to support herself because she was not seen as a woman of morals, a woman of value.

Today, there almost seems to be some kind of pride in women jumping from man to man, having sex with all of them. And the men, for the most part, see nothing wrong with having a woman that has been with innumerable men before them.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the assumption that the 'you' in this statement could also refer to other women, since it seems that most feminists support and even encourage homosexuality, although, due to the feminist anti-man agenda, I would guess it applies more to men than to women. But even that...how many men or women put a value on the 'innocence' of their partner? And even for those that do value that...do they value it to the exclusion of women that have been with multiple partners (of either sex)?

All that said...Scripture says that women are to be chaste, to be pure. It does not specifically say that that refers to sex but generally speaking those two words are applied to virgins. We do know from Scripture, though, that being pure of heart is a sign of the elect. Still...could a woman that jumps from man to man, or, from woman to woman for that matter, possibly be pure in any sense of the word?

Does a woman have to have sex with anyone? No, Paul says that it is good for the unmarried to remain that way so long as they can do so without sexually desiring anyone but because most people are unable to do that he says that people should marry. Why? To avoid sexual immorality. So that they don't sin in their desire.

Sex is a beautiful thing. A wonderful thing. And I doubt even the feminists can deny that it has it's place in the continuation of the human population. But...it is only beautiful, only wonderful, when it is between one man and one woman inside the bonds of marriage.

Sex was created by the Lord to be used among a certain people, married couples consisting of one man and one woman. It fulfills certain physical needs, placed in us by the Lord, and is the means through which the Lord brings a new person into the earth.

So no, women do not have to have sex with 'you' and they should not have sex with 'you'. Not unless the 'you' spoken of is a woman's husband in which case 1 Corinthians 7 says that a woman's body is not her own and that she should have sex with her husband.

be feminine...This is another one of those that makes me almost want to cringe as I look at it and attempt to counter it. No, we don't HAVE to be feminine. Scripture does not say a woman should be feminine. But the Lord made us as females and as females we already are feminine unless a woman is trying to be something other than what she was created to be. There are certain traits that make women more feminine. A woman in a modest dress or skirt is much more feminine than a woman in pants or shorts. A woman with long hair is more feminine than a woman with short hair. A woman with a clean vocabulary is much more feminine than a woman with vulgar speech.

Just the other day my husband was commenting on the recent so-called women's march in Washington. He spoke of the conversation that President Trump had, a private conversation, in which he spoke in very vulgar terms about women. That conversation sparked much outraged among the so-called women that took to the streets to protest the statements, and the man that made them, that spoke of women with such vulgarity. The thing is that those women were just as vulgar, and in fact, to me, more so, than President Trump ever was. I'm not saying what Trump said was right, not by a long shot, but a man, in what was a private conversation, saying something is not nearly as bad as thousands of women taking to the streets to scream out the same vulgarities while wearing costumes depicting female genitalia.

Is that what it means to not be feminine?

My husband's final comments on that so-called women's march was to say that he'd heard many women speak just as vulgar as Trump did in his private conversation. That they aren't any better in their thoughts or their speech than the men are. And yet the women protest something that one man said, something that is no different that things most men say every day, if possibly in slightly different context.

And the same women that took to the streets dressed as women's genitals, the same women that screamed vulgar words, the same women that waved signs with vulgar sayings on them and claimed to be 'nasty' women...those very same women say that women don't have to be feminine. And the women that supported those vulgar women being about as nasty as a woman can get say the same thing from their computers at home.

If that's what it means to be not feminine...why would any decent, self respecting woman not want to be feminine. And what Christian woman would not want to be feminine?

I honestly don't know how feminists define feminine. I don't know what they consider to be feminine and what they don't but I do know there are some things that are classically seen as being feminine. I enjoy my long hair. I like to wear long skirts, there's just something...fun about feeling them swirl against my legs. I like flowers. I like pretty things. I like not having vulgar words coming from my mouth or vulgar gestures from my hands. I like dainty things.

And...

I like being the weaker vessel to my husband. I like being held in his arms. I like feeling safe and protected when he hugs me. I like hearing him say sweet things to me, things only a girl would appreciate. I like being the feminine to his masculine.

be graceful...I know there was a time when being graceful was a part of being a woman. Actually, it was part of being a lady because there was, and still is, a big difference in being a lady and being a woman. There are very few ladies left in America. They are endangered to the point of being extinct. And being graceful is just a small part of being a lady.

I don't know in what context the feminists consider being graceful. When I was a kid I took ballet for a number of years. We were taught to be graceful in those classes. Being graceful in ballet means moving your body in a certain kind of slow deliberate way, even when you're twirling across the floor so fast the world around you is a blur. But that is a certain kind of gracefulness that isn't easily applied to life outside the dance of ballet.

In times past girls were taught how to be ladies. There were even schools to teach them the art of being a lady. Believe it or not their were also classes that taught 'the art of courting'. They were taught things like how to glide into a room, how to hold a tea cup, and how to bat their eyes at a man.

We no longer learn things like how to walk, how to glide, or how to bat our eyes. We don't even teach our little girls to sit like a lady anymore, something I can remember being told numerous times buy numerous people when I was a kid. Back then little girls, and women, did not turn a chair backwards and straddle it to sit, that was only for boys. Girls were expected to sit with their legs folded under them a certain way when they wore a dress. I can even remember when a female sitting with her knees apart was considered and invitation to men. Yes, I was actually taught that as a kid. And no, I'm not an elderly woman.

So, what exactly does it mean to be graceful? I can't combat a statement that I don't fully understand the meaning of the person making it. I do believe that any female not living in defiance of what she was created to be has a certain gracefulness about her, especially once she leaves childhood behind. There is just a way about females that males to not have, and there is a way about males that females to not have. It's the way it should be. Women act and move a certain way...or maybe I should say ladies move and act a certain way because the kind of adult female I am referring to cannot be compared with the kind of women that marched in that protest in Washington or write lists like the one that prompted this post. So...Ladies have a natural way about them that has a gracefulness to it that men simply cannot emulate.

We are graceful because we were created female. And it takes some work to get that gracefulness out of a female. Girls walk different than boys. Women walk different than men. If a woman doesn't want to walk as a woman she must work hard to remove the gracefulness of being a female from her walk. Women move differently than men do. To move like a man a woman must try hard to remove the female from her movements.

There is a television show that used to come on t.v. when I was in my teens. One episode, that I have seen in the last year, has the woman trying to enter a horse race that is for men only. To be in the race she must pretend to be a man. There is a scene in that movie where the woman's adopted son's and her husband-to-be are trying to help her act more like a man. They instruct her on everything from how to walk to how to hold her head and hide her hands. The woman not only had to change from her clothes to men's clothes, she had to have a shadow of a 'beard' painted on her face, chew tobacco, learn to spit like a man, hold her body a certain way, tilt her head a certain way, and to change the very way she walked because women just walk differently than men.

That woman had to go to extreme lengths to not be feminine. It is simply built into who and what a female is. We can no more remove the gracefulness of being female from who we are than we can remove the more delicate features of our bodies that girls tend to naturally have.

shave...um, okay. Scripture doesn't say that we should shave so there is no Scriptural response to this one. In fact, I believe their is no more Scriptural responses to most of the rest of this list beyond the simple fact of what it appears the list stands for and that it defies Scripture.

Shaving hasn't always been something women did. As I understand it women started shaving their legs in the 1920's when shorter dresses came into fashion. It was more of a fashion statement than anything else. And...I'm just guessing here but I believe that this particular fashion statement came in more under the so-called enlightened women, possibly the feminists, that wanted to dress and act in a more risky way than most women of the time did. As I understand it, all through word of mouth from older generations, the flapper style dresses, the short skirts, and whatever else went along with the women of that time dressing and acting in the manner that they did wasn't a popularly accepted thing of the time. I don't know for certain, and I can't find out even with an internet search, but I would guess that the feminists of the 1910-1920s era encouraged women to shave. It would seem to fit with the general agenda of the way feminists have acted throughout history. Which is to basically protest whatever is natural about womanhood and to encourage living in defiance of that nature.

I did find it odd that when trying to research women shaving and the feminist movement, or beliefs, at any given time all I could find was what the feminists are doing now. Granted, I did not try too hard to find this information, just a quick internet search which brought up only current feminist trends.

But I did find something interesting on shaving...

As far as armpits are concerned, we can pinpoint it almost to the day. In May of 1915, the upscale magazine Harper’s Bazaar ran an ad featuring a young model in a sleeveless, slip-like dress posing with both arms over her head.
You may be thinking, “So what?” Well, up until that time, fashion – and propriety – dictated that women were covered to the wrist and to the ankle. A dress that exposed the underarms was nothing short of revolutionary. In fact, just the utterance of the word “underarm” out loud was enough to call for the smelling salts mere weeks earlier. Now, it was becoming perfectly acceptable. It also meant since underarms were body parts that had always been covered, whether or not they needed shaving had been a moot point and little discussed. If it didn’t show, why bother? And yet, here was an ad cajoling women that it was necessary to remove “objectionable” hair. To think just days earlier women had no idea such a problem even existed!...
The leg shaving phenomenon was a lot slower to catch on. It’s true that during the 1920s the flappers brought with them a decade of much shorter dresses coming into vogue, but by the 1930s hemlines became much longer again. There were some fashion and beauty writers loudly proclaiming that leg hair was on a par with leprosy, boldly referring to it as a “curse”. Regardless, it seemed that the majority of women were content to leave well enough alone and not worry about shaving their legs. The fashion mavens just couldn’t stir up the same frenzy this time around as they had with armpit hair.   It seems that most women were a tad more hesitant when it came to shaving and therefore drawing attention to their legs, as opposed to their underarms. After all, the leg’s closest neighbors are the “private” bits. You wouldn’t want anyone to think you were that kind of girl, or give men any kind of wrong impression.
Then World War II erupted, and that iconic pin-up picture of Betty Grable became part of popular culture almost overnight. It’s only a slight exaggeration to say that the women of America have been shaving their legs ever since. Why, you ask? Because Betty’s legs looked amazing, and to emulate that look, you had to wear a short skirt and sheer stockings. You also had to shave your legs, as nothing killed the effect you were trying to create more than leg hair poking through your silky stockings. (http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2013/04/the-history-of-shaving/)
So it would seem that the very notion of women shaving wasn't always embraced by the more reserved, and it might be said, upstanding women of their time. Women shaving was something that had to be pushed and encouraged, much as the ideals of the feminists today. I don't know where the feminists stood on the matter during those years when women shaving was scandalous and not for the 'good' women but the very act of women shaving does appear to have come about through less than upstanding means and wasn't embraced by the majority of women at the time.
And today we have women, under the guise of feminists, trying to tell women that they shouldn't shave. I can only ask...why?
Presumably because men appreciate a clean shaven leg and armpit. In fact, those very things, it would seem, have always been considered sexy to men. Something that appears to have been both desirable and undesirable when women shaving first took hold.
diet...Again, I have no Scripture to refute this. We can look to the same verses about gluttony to support the concept of dieting but then again...dieting isn't something that would have always been needed, for women or men either one.

It's our modern food and our modern sedentary lifestyles that have created the biggest need to diet. And from having watched my grandmother spend the better part of her life dieting...I can tell you that no diet truly works. Those that diet may loose a few pounds but as soon as they come off, or more often, fall off of their diet...back on go the pounds.

But...why would feminists be opposed to women dieting? Or are they opposed? Maybe they're just saying a woman doesn't have to diet and I've never heard of anyone thinking all women should diet. Women themselves have put the idea into people's minds that dieting is a woman thing and that most, if not all, do it. I, for one, have never been on a diet.

So, is dieting another one of the anti-men movement...er, belief, that is feminism where these women that don't really want to be women think in their made up worlds that all men believe that all women should diet?

be fashionable...I simply have to ask, who is it that is pushing so-called fashion on women? My husband could care less about fashion and would probably object if I started trying to dress in what modern America is calling fashion for women. I have a sister that has always valued 'in-style' clothing but as far as I can tell her husband could care less. I don't know exactly what his feelings on her clothing choices are but I do know that he valued sensible clothes when she was expecting their first child over current trendy maternity clothes. He told her it would be better to buy clothes that she could wear after the baby arrived than clothes that were only usable for a few months.

I know there are men, young and old, that appreciate women wearing 'fashionable' clothes but I also know that there are men that could care less and from what I've seen it's usually the women desiring the 'fashionable' clothes to impress the men.

wear pink...Again, who said women have to do this? I get that pink is, in America, a traditionally female color. Pink is for girls, blue is for boys. I tell my husband often that boys should not wear pink because it's a girl color. But I don't know of any rule, written or unwritten, that says girls of any age have to wear pink.

I do know, through seeing news headlines, that the color pink was somehow used in that so-called women's march in Washington. I do not know in what context they used the color, and I don't want to know any more about that sickening display of 'women' so I'm not going to research it to find out, but I do know that women that were against that march said that because of it they would never wear pink again.

So somehow, those that line up on the feminist side, must have supported the color pink in some way during that march.

It does amaze me that the feminists are against certain things one day and promote them another. Much like that so-called women's march...they marched for women, I guess for the right to be women and to be treated...what....better...equal, I don't know because I deliberately tried not to know what took place in that disgrace of a march. But those same women that wanted women to have whatever it was they were protesting are the same women that want men who think they are women to be treated as equal to men. And yet those women promoted female genitals in their protest, something men, no matter how much they may dress, act, or even mutilate their bodies, can never have except in the most superficial, unnatural way.

love men...I get this one...

 sort of.

Well, maybe not.

I understand that feminists are anti-men and therefore they stand in objection to everything that is for men in any way. They are saying here that women don't have to love men. But...what does that mean? Are they saying women can live out their lives single? Ever talked to a woman that has done just that? 99% of them will tell you it's a lonely life. Are they saying that women can be in relationships, even marriages, without loving the man they are with? Society is showing us that a good portion of women are doing just that. They use and discard men like fast food to-go cups. Or are they saying that women can skip men altogether and have sexual relationships with women?

I suspect they are saying, or implying, all of the above. And I suspect that they are saying that a woman shouldn't be 'tied' to a marriage with a man.

Scripture says otherwise to all of that and more. So much more. Women were CREATED...made...designed...to be wives. Their sole reason for being put on this earth is because 'it is not good that man should be alone'. But the feminists don't want to hear that. Because they live in defiance of God. They abhor Scripture. And they do not want to be corrected in any way.

The women that marched in that disgusting example of what they want womanhood to be refused to allow pro-life women to join them. Why? Because being pro-life defies what those women stand for. They are for the rights of each individual woman to the exclusion of all else...even the life of a tiny, unborn baby.

Women were put on this earth for the purpose of being wives. They are here to help men. Scripture says that a woman is to marry, or rather to remarry, if she's widowed under the age of 60. It says that she is to be subject to her husband.

That same television show I saw where the woman was entering a men's race had a scene in it where a man asked that woman if she was married. When she said she was not the man told her that was what her problem was and to 'get a husband'.

That was a fictional t.v. show set in the 1800's when society was different. When men were different. When women were different. But there is so much truth in what that man told that woman. And much to understand in the scene where the woman tried to turn herself into what would pass for a man.

Scripture tells us that women were created to be wives. It is our number one reason for existence. We are on this earth because it wasn't good for men to be alone and so that we can be a helper for him. Now we should take note that God did not create even 2 men when he made Eve. He had made only one man at the time that he said man should not be alone and made Eve to alleviate that aloneness in Adam. Eve was created EXCLUSIVELY for Adam. She was his wife and his alone. She was there to help him, to be his best friend, his help, his everything on earth. It was to Eve that he was to cling to and it was with Eve that he was to go through life with.

That was a specific man and woman in Scripture but they are the original example of marriage. They are what marriage is. Eve was made for Adam. A wife was made for her husband. We were put on earth for a reason. We are not to love men but to love a man, our husband.

I can tell you from experience that a woman is a different kind of person in this world when she is alone than when she has a husband. Women without husband's must face everything alone. And yes, they are alone. No amount of friends or family can give a woman what a husband can.

A couple of years ago a married friend of mine told me that there is lots of security in having a husband. She then kind of stumbled over her explanation but I understood what she was saying. This friend is a Christian. She believes that women should have husbands, that girls were born to become women who should become wives. She believes that a family is incomplete without a husband and a dad in the home. And when she said there is much security in having a husband she said so much.

And before anyone thinks I'm speaking of financial security...I'm not, although that does factor in also. I don't recall the exact numbers but statistics on divorce say that divorced women become much poorer after divorce and divorced men actually rise in income level. There is a financial security in being married. At least there is in a Christian marriage. Scripture lays out the responsibilities of a husband and a wife. I have already given the summary of a wife in Titus 2 and 1 Corinthians 7 but husband's also have a role and a good part of that role is to provide for and protect his family, that would include his wife.

In fact Ephesians 5 says that a husbands role is to love his wife and to sacrifice for her. There is much security in having a man that follows Scripture and tries to be what a man, what a husband, should be. But it goes so far beyond finances that money is just a drop in the bucket of that security.

But an unmarried woman, particularly an unmarried feminist, could never understand that.

You see, they live in defiance of the Lord and do not embrace Scripture. Therefore they would laugh at anyone woman that tried to tell them their is security in marriage. Or that they should not love men...only one man. Their man. Their husband.

Years ago I saw an online conversation between several women where they were discussing something about how the married stay-at-home wives did not understand why the married (or not) working women could not just take off for a day out with their friends, shopping and dining, or even to go on girls only vacations the way the stay at home wives could. I remember quite well that one of the working women made the statement that the stay at home wives didn't mind taking those shopping trips or vacations because they were spending someone else's money, meaning the someone else was their husband.

I have had a relative tell me that my husband's money is not my money. I guess that relative was correct in some ways but the thing is they were wrong in other ways. My husband is the one that earns the income in our family. He is the one that works and makes the money that provides for us. It is, by virtue of him earning it, his money. However he does not consider it to be such. He never says 'my' money, he always says 'our' money.

I am a stay at home wife. I am what those women in that online conversation all those years ago would have spoken against because the money I spend comes to me through my husband. I have also seen some women refer to wives like me as prostitutes because we accept money from our husbands.

They all miss the point.

A man and woman are not individuals once they are married. Marriage makes them one body, two people that go through life together. And Scripture says that women are to stay home and men are to provide for and protect the family.

A woman becomes her husband's responsibility the moment they marry. She is his to care for, his to look after, his to provide for, his to love, his to enjoy. She was CREATED for him.

I belong to my husband.

I can hear the feminists gasping now. The idea of a woman belonging to a man is in direct opposition of everything they stand for. But it is in direct obedience of everything Scripture says.

I do not love men. I love my husband. I understand that men have a role in life and women have a role in life. I happily live in the role I was appointed to by the Lord. And I have great security in my husband. Not because he provides for me financially but because there is security in simply being his wife.

I belong to my husband.

My identity is swallowed up in his. I have a place in this life. I have a role as his wife. I know my husband will do his best to take care of me in all ways but even that isn't all of the security that I have in being married. And that is where my friend stumbled in her explanation and where I understood what she was trying to say even though it's very hard to put into words.

You see...

There is, quite simply, a security in being what I was created to be. There is security in being...

Wife.

And no feminist would ever embrace that. They cannot embrace anything that is light, or of the Lord. They live in darkness. Wallowing in it. Wrapping themselves in it. Grabbing hold of it and flaunting it before all. And to say that women do not have to love men...is in direct opposition to what Scripture tells us women are.

be the media's idea of perfection...and here's the last of what the feminists say a woman doesn't have to be. Which, to me, is another example of something they imagine someone is telling them they should be. For as long as we have had an entertainment industry there has been this idea that perfection, in male or female, in family, in jobs, in homes and possessions, in everything.

I once wrote fictional books and understand well that when you're creating something for entertainment purposes you must give people the ideal of what they wish their lives were. Romance books must make the male character out to be the kind of man their intended audience wants to marry. Bad guys in a book, or movie, must seem like bad guys, they shouldn't come across as the kind of man a woman wants for a husband or the dependable man next door. There is a perfection to be achieved to create the 'dream' world that the audience wants to escape into.

And I'm guessing it's this made up world that the feminists say women don't have to be like.

But overall, this entire list is an anti-man list that the women behind it probably think is what they are against. They want to be whatever it is that men say they can't be. If men want pretty skinny women, with shaved legs in flowing dresses then they want to be ugly women, covered in body hair, wearing men's clothes. But beneath all of that the feminists are living in direct opposition to their Creator. They do not want to be the females they were created to be.