Ever more

There seems to be something we absolutely ‘must’ have everywhere we turn. Society has a way of telling us that our clothes must meet certain standards without anyone ever saying a word. Advertisements online, in person, even through the mail have a way of pointing out all the things we need.

I have a perfectly good kitchen table but I recently saw a table that made me want it. To be fair, it wasn’t so much the table I wanted but the seats. They were bench seats, made of wood, and offered plenty of seating even for a small table. I eventually convinced myself that I didn’t need the table, but my human side still thinks of it from time to time.

All it took was seeing the table to create the desire to have it.

Everywhere we turn we are bombarded with the idea that we should have this or that. Newer…bigger…better. It’s a part of the American society. There is no escaping it. It’s much like a disease that has swept the nation at epidemic proportions.

Someone recently told me that they intended to be very careful of what they allow into their life because stuff equals confusion.

And it does.

They say that people that live in cluttered homes are constantly stressed just by seeing all the stuff.

Scripture shows us something different. Jesus sent his disciples into the world and told them to take nothing with them (Matthew 10). We are told to be content with what we have…

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have… Hebrews 13:5 NIV

Paul said…

…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Philippians 4:11 NIV

And yet we are surrounded by much and the constant bombardment of the idea that we need more. Ever more. It isn’t just an idea that crops up from time to time but the very way of life in our country.

I have a friend that told me when her children complain about what they have to eat she shows them pictures of starving children in third world countries and tells them if they don’t like what they have they can all eat rice for every meal.

In a world where children starve to death every day…nearly 17,000 children under the age of five starved to death EVERY SINGLE DAY in 2013 (http://www.worldhunger.org/articles/Learn/child_hunger_facts.htm) …in America we live lives of never having enough. Even within America there are children that go hungry every day. Despite government programs that are supposed to provide for the needs of children living in homes that can’t afford food, the sad reality is that even with assistance many of these children go hungry. They say the average allotment per person, per meal, through the food stamp program is 1.00. That’s 1.00 to eat on every meal. 3.00 a day per person…3.00 a day per child. Have you calculated the cost of groceries lately? To feed a child a balanced, nutritious meal, every meal…you need more than 3.00 per day. And most children need snacks throughout the day. They need milk. They need juice. They need treats from time to time.

They need fresh fruits and vegetables. They need meat. All these things add up and in our country…the healthiest foods are usually the most expensive.

I saw in the news a couple of years ago where there were parents who feed their children on chips and other similar type foods because they are the cheapest way to feed their children. Many cities now have programs during the summer to feed children because these children would often go hungry without the programs. There are programs that pack backpacks with food and take them to schools where they are given to children that would go hungry over the weekend if not for the food in those packs.

And this is in America…

Where more is never enough.

I know a woman that just this past summer walked her toddler to a children’s library program every time it was held because they fed her son lunch.

Do you know what he got?

A half a sandwich and some fruit.

And she walked him through big city traffic so that he would be fed lunch. And all because that lunch would help stretch their food budget for the other meals.

As I write this, it is the day before Thanksgiving. I went shopping today. I visited a pet store, a thrift store, a Christian book store, a toy store, and a grocery store. In each of those stores I could easily see the ‘we need more’ mentality of our society.

My first stop was the thrift store where I was there to find a dish to water a pet. Inside the store I was greeted with Christian music to shop by….and a table filled with Christmas decorations. Now for anyone that’s ever been in a thrift store you know it’s a jumble of things no matter the time of year. A thrift store is much like going on a treasure hunt. You must search through a lot of useless…to you…junk to find something you want.  

But the very nature of a thrift store is a testament to what happens in a society that wants more and more. We discard perfectly good things in order to get something better. Some of those perfectly good things wind up in thrift stores, some in dumps, others are just pushed aside and left to sit where they are until some future date.

I remember a few years ago I was on an email list for ‘Christian’ ladies. One day a woman asked for recommendations from the other ladies on the list. She was about to go on a trip and she ‘needed’ a new pair of shoes. In time, through the conversations that her request spawned, she admitted she had something like 250 pair of shoes. I was dumfounded. How can anyone have that many pairs of shoes? And even worse how could anyone with that many pairs of shoes think for even a second that they ‘need’ another pair. I’ve been in shoe stores with fewer shoes than that woman had.

I was also more than a little…troubled…by the fact that this woman posted of her ‘need’ to a group of women that included women living in poverty and women living in countries that often caused them great distress in their faith.

As this woman’s admission came through my inbox I looked at the single pair of shoes my son owned, the pair that had holes in the toes, and wondered how this woman could claim she ‘needed’ shoes when a good number of the people in her life probably owned way less shoes than she did.

I wasn’t offended by this woman’s post because I was unable to provide shoes for my family. My son owned only one pair of shoes, with holes, because he loved those shoes and didn’t want to replace them. I was offended because there are people in this world that truly can’t afford a pair of shoes, people that are starving to death, people that are struggling to survive, people that sit in dark houses without water or heat because they have no money. And this ‘Christian’ woman, who owned over 200 pairs of shoes, ‘needed’ a new pair.

But what made it worse was the fact that the ‘Christian’ woman that ran the list never once corrected this woman whose posts often ran to what could easily be taken as bragging. And if not bragging they were most definitely insensitive and uncaring of others.

I didn’t stay on that list very long after that incident.

But as I think of that woman and her shoes it is a vivid reminder of our ‘ever more’ culture. I’m pretty sure that anyone that has a closet full of shoes could walk into their closet and find a pair of shoes for any trip they may be about to take. But she ‘needed’ another pair.

It is but one example of what happens in a society that thinks, and is encouraged to think, that they need the next best thing that is ‘better’ than what they have. And it’s impossible to miss that concept, especially at this time of the year.

We even have television programs about people that ‘hoard’ things to the point that their homes overflow with stuff. Psychologists and other mental health experts classify acquiring stuff beyond a certain degree to be hoarding. I wonder though…in a country where ‘ever more’ is the encouraged mindset…who gets to set the limit for when ‘ever more’ becomes too much and goes from the normal and encouraged ‘bettering’ of your situation to ‘hoarding’.

My next stop was the toy store where I went because I was asked to pick up a very small, very inexpensive toy. With one step into the store I was bombarded with the overstock of toys that appear at Christmas time. The shelves were literally overflowing with toys. Boxes, crates and pallets of more toys sat in the center of every aisle wide enough to hold them.

Just walking through the store caused sensory overload.

With only two days left until the black Friday sales that have become so popular, this store was gearing up for it and the mad rush of shopping that will follow. They even had arrows on the floor, marking, I assumed, the way the line should form all the way to the back of the store before winding to the other side and back around to the front where the check-outs were.

To pay for a single 5.00 toy dolphin I stood in line behind a couple with a baby that hasn’t yet seen his first birthday and watched as they bought a cart full of cartoon themed toys. I have no idea if the toys were for the baby or another child but whoever they were for…the child, or children, are getting everything from a blanket with this popular cartoon character to a carpet with small toys included, to…I don’t even know what all…but every last item in their full shopping cart was from the same cartoon.

As the woman swiped her credit card the cashier tried to convince her, not for the first time, to sign up for something that would ‘save you $5.00 today’, said in such a cheerful, enticing voice that one might actually think the woman checking out was gaining something wonderful if only she would sign up.

Everywhere I turned, everywhere I looked, in that toy store was the proof of our society’s need for ‘more’. Ever more. If only it had ended at the exit door but it didn’t. It couldn’t. Because our society has been raised on wanting more and more and more.

I read something not all that long ago about how people that grew up in the depression wound up hanging onto things long past when they needed them because they were conditioned in childhood to save everything for ‘when you might need it’. They learned, during a time when a million dollars would do you no good if you needed something that couldn’t be had, to save everything for the time when they might need it.

 They grew up in a time when their mothers saved cotton sacks that flour and animal feed came in and stood on street corners and in front yards trading sacks until they got enough of a single print to make their child a shirt or a dress…or a pair of underpants. That was the way it was. It was the way it had to be. It was the society they grew up in.

Their children, on the other hand, grew up with parents that could buy what they wanted and needed but had learned to save everything. And now those children, and their children, are grown and we have a society of people that want ever more. No matter what they may have it’s never enough.

One would think that you could leave that mentality behind when walking inside any business that wears the label of ‘Christian’ but that isn’t the case. My next stop was the Christian book store where I went to return two movies I bought a couple of days ago, movies I discovered, upon getting home and researching them, that didn’t hold Biblical truths despite being labeled as ‘Christian’. Long before I stepped through the doors of that store I could see the bright colored, eye pleasing posters in the windows. With one step inside the store I was bombarded with displays of holiday decorations, and tables and shelves filled with all manner of books, movies, music CD’s, Bibles, and who knows what all else. And as if that wasn’t enough, they overflowed the shelves and tables and were propped in the floor too.

Not only did they have things displayed to perfection but they had sale items on tables strategically placed so that they were the first thing you saw, and passed, once inside the door and you had to pass at least some of them to get to the registers. At the registers there were stacks of items, without prices, that could be easily grabbed on impulse as you checked out and if that wasn’t enough no one buying anything made it through their purchase without being asked if they would like to buy and donate a Bible to the chosen charity for that day.

That, at least, was something that encouraged helping others instead of gaining more.

My next stop was the pet store. It would seem that in a pet store one would escape much of the pushing of stuff that comes with this time of year…but like the ‘Christian’ store that was not so at this pet store. Just as with the other stores I had visited, with one step inside the store you were surrounded with holiday goodies. From the rows of Christmas themed dog toys and clothes…doesn’t your dog need a fancy Christmas dress?...to the red bows and neatly wrapped gifts that seemed to adorn almost everything by either being printed onto it or stuck on in sticker form.

And just in case you have no idea what to buy that special someone there were signs strategically placed to give you the idea of buying a cage or aquarium and a gift card so the recipient could come pick out their very own live present.

How many people do you suppose fall for that only to wind up giving someone something that has a very short enjoyment at their house and must somehow be gotten rid of in a month or two?

I acquired my bag of crickets in the midst of utility carts loaded with boxes of who knows what waiting to be added to the ‘festive’ displays all around the store.

Please don’t get me wrong. I like Christmas. I really do. If I had to pick a favorite time of year it would be the Christmas holiday time. I enjoy the happiness that seems to buzz in the air this time of year. I enjoy the twinkly lights and the transformation that nearly everything undergoes as it’s decorated for the holiday. I enjoy…some…of the festivities that happen only during this time of year. I enjoy the excitement that children exhibit and the overall enjoyment that everyone seems to have during this time of year.

But…I don’t enjoy the push that seems to come from all directions for ‘more’. Ever more. It shows up in my email inbox, in my mailbox with my treasured letters and my utility bills. It gets shoved at me in every store. And everyone…everyone…seems to want to know what every child wants for Christmas.

When was the last time you heard someone ask a child what they were going to do for someone else for Christmas? When was the last time you heard anyone ask a child how they were going to make others happy? Or help others? Or…anything beyond asking them what ‘more’ do they want for Christmas?

With the ever more popular sales that offer deep discounts…which seem to me to offer less and less of a discount each year…comes more and more of a push to buy and buy and buy.

Does a dog really need a Christmas dress? Or a Christmas tree shaped squeaky toy? Do they really need a special leash for the holidays or a bag of Christmas treats in a holiday themed goodie bag?

Do ‘Christians’ really need books and movies depicting things that are supposedly Christian but hold very little that is in keeping with Scripture? Do we even need a store that pushes us to buy more and more ‘Christian’ stuff while ignoring the fact that there are those that can’t afford to buy the necessities?

At least the toy store had a bin at the check-outs giving their shoppers the chance to donate a toy to an organization that will give it to those in need. The ‘Christian’ store didn’t even have that.

My last stop in town today was the grocery store. With Thanksgiving tomorrow the store was busy, the aisles crowded. Baking pans, stuffing mixes, rolls and other traditional Thanksgiving foods were placed within easy reach only feet from the front door. They filled the ends of aisles, and displays throughout the store.

People shopping had all sorts of goodies and foods that one could easily see would be turned into holiday meals tomorrow. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits and mingling in the store almost as if they were there to greet one another instead of get groceries.

It truly was an enjoyable grocery trip. But as I think back on it, as I think of the holiday we will celebrate tomorrow, a holiday where food is the main focus, I think again of the ‘ever more’ mentality of our society. Even now, in this holiday, it is the big meal that takes the focus (except, of course, that it has now lost the focus because of the sales that come this time of year). Homes will be overflowing with meals that look more like a buffet style restaurant than a family meal.

Eyes will be overwhelmed with the offerings in most homes tomorrow and stomachs will bulge and ache. And somewhere…

Thousands of children will starve to death tomorrow.

Mother’s will hold their dead babies and toddlers in their arms and wish they had had a few morsels of food they could have fed their child each day so that their children might still be alive this day…a day when Americans gorge themselves and fill dog bowls, garbage disposals, and trash cans with uneaten food.

Husbands will sit beside wives that are too weak to get up off their dirt floor because they have gone without decent meals for too long.

Orphaned children will dig through dumps looking for anything they can feed themselves…or their younger siblings…even if that something is rotten and covered in dirt…or bugs.

American prisoners will give up visits with family…even ask them to not come…to be able to eat a full meal and really, truly, get full. A nice treat…one worth giving up a treasured visit with family…when meals often consist of too little food. And maybe…just maybe…the food will actually taste good on this holiday when thousands upon thousands of people will scrape enough food for another meal into the trash because they’re too full to finish what they piled on their plates.

American children will be left home alone, their kitchens filled with food…or not…while their parents shop the sales that our ‘ever more’ society has demanded from stores that demand ‘ever more’ of our money.

Elderly grandparents will sit in nursing homes eating meals prepared by kitchen staff while the families they treasure in their memories forget they exist in the midst of their own ‘ever more’ celebrations, some of those families having opted to leave ‘grandma’ or ‘grandpa’ where they are so that they won’t have to worry over what to do with them when they leave for that big sale.

I know that this is the bad side of our ‘ever more’ culture. There is…I have to believe…another side to it. Somewhere out there in our country there are people that will celebrate the day with family, giving no thought to any sale that might be happening. Somewhere there are people that will spend the day serving meals to those that don’t have any. Somewhere out there are people that go to those sales for the purpose of buying something for those that really need it. Someone will use those sales to buy toys for children whose homes were lost in a fire recently. Someone will shop those sales, taking advantage of the discounts offered, in order to buy things for the homeless. Someone will shop those sales looking for items to make gift bags to be given to nursing home residents on Christmas.

And some of them will shop those sales because they can’t afford not to.

There will be children dragged out in the cold, in the dark, to stand in line at a store to get what they want for Christmas because without that sale, even though there is no one to watch the child, the child will not get what they asked for. And so the surprise of Christmas is forgotten in the chance to get the child what it wants.

There are children out there that have asked for nothing. Children that understand their parents just can’t get them anything. There are mothers out there, separated from their husbands, their children, through circumstances they’d give anything to change, shopping the ‘ever more’ sales because it’s the only way they can make Christmas work.

There are a million different circumstances that might…and do…change the ‘ever more’ situation into something less selfish. But no matter the circumstances that might make the ‘ever more’ seem like it’s okay…

There are still children dying of starvation…at the very moment that a single mother is scraping up pennies to buy the toy her child just ‘has’ to have. There are still American children with hungry tummies while parents take money needed for food to buy something to give them for Christmas. There are still prisoners, in American prisons, going without food and living on unpalatable food while Americans throw away perfectly good food. There are still elderly people that once lived for their families, now set aside because they are a hindrance to the ‘ever more’ lifestyle that makes American’s see them as problems instead of treasures that they have a few more years…days…minutes…to enjoy.

In America even the poorest of the poor is often richer than people in many other countries.

In America even the poorest people have more food than those in prison.

In America even the poorest people often have family to spend the holidays with while hundreds…thousands…of elderly people will spend the holiday alone because they are an inconvenience to their families.

In America even the poorest people have options that those in hospitals don’t have.

In America there are people sitting in mental hospitals with no family willing to lay claim to them.

In America there are prisoners that would give anything for a Christmas card, prisoners that never get any mail, while people in the ‘free’ society ‘need’ this or that for Christmas.

In America…children go without warm coats, shoes, heat in their homes, water to take a bath with, a home to live in while…

In America…

Ever more.