Where have all the Christians gone?

And he was teaching them many things in parables, and in his teaching he said to them: “Listen! Behold, a sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured it. Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and immediately it sprang up, since it had no depth of soil. And when the sun rose, it was scorched, and since it had no root, it withered away. Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. And other seeds fell into good soil and produced grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirtyfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold.” And he said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

And when he was alone, those around him with the twelve asked him about the parables. And he said to them, “To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables, so that “they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand, lest they should turn and be forgiven.”

And he said to them, “Do you not understand this parable? How then will you understand all the parables? The sower sows the word. And these are the ones along the path, where the word is sown: when they hear, Satan immediately comes and takes away the word that is sown in them. And these are the ones sown on rocky ground: the ones who, when they hear the word, immediately receive it with joy. And they have no root in themselves, but endure for a while; then, when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately they fall away. And others are the ones sown among thorns. They are those who hear the word,  but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. But those that were sown on the good soil are the ones who hear the word and accept it and bear fruit, thirtyfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold.” Mark 4:2-20

I used to be a member of a big Baptist ‘Church’. At one point I was going every time the doors were open, or so it seemed. I spent five years as a regular attender and later as a member of that ‘church’. During that time I made a few friends, learned a few things, but I didn’t come close to learning or growing near as much as one should when spending at least five hours a week being ‘taught’ and ‘instructed’ in the ways of the Lord.

Then things shifted at the ‘church’. Tithing became almost mandatory. I got envelopes in the mail, each one printed with a date and my name. I threw them away. Tithing is something I’m not getting into here except to say that it isn’t Scriptural either, not unless you live under the old covenant. A few weeks after those envelopes arrived I was approached by the music leader, who happened to be the real leader of this ‘church’. He wanted to know why I hadn’t been turning in my tithes. I don’t remember what I replied but it wasn’t long before I got another packet of envelopes in the mail, each one printed with my name and the date-one for each week.

I threw those away too.

If anyone approached me over them again I don’t remember it. What I do remember is how the leaders of the ‘church’ and many of the higher standing members turned against my entire family, including my mother and sisters. This was a place where I thought believers gathered. It wasn’t long before we quit going there.

That experience turned me against ‘church’. I no longer had any desire to go. A couple of years later I started attending my grandmothers ‘church’, which happened to be a Baptist ‘church’ also. I went for the chance to spend time with my grandmother and nothing else. If I got anything out of the sermons I don’t remember it. What I do remember is that everytime I stepped through the door I was greeted with the site of teenage girls and women wearing dresses that shouldn’t have met the definition for slips. I saw see through tops and bare legs. I heard plenty of gossip, I saw people coming in with the newest gadgets, shoes, and vehicles. I saw no one helping widows, single mothers, the handicapped.

Where were the believers in that group? These were people that professed Christ but I couldn’t see it in their lives, couldn’t hear it in their speech. They were friendly to each other, looked forward to their luncheons and weekly get togethers, had Bible study.

But something was missing.

I figured it was just me. I was still jaded over my experience with my last ‘church’ and couldn’t see the proof of the congregations belief. What I didn’t know then was that I was on a path that was opening my eyes to the truths of Scripture.

The majority of my family members profess a belief in Christ. I had friends that professed the same. Met strangers that would eagerly give God the glory for all the good in their lives.

But something was missing.

I tried to talk about Scripture as I was seeing it. All I got was arguments. The people I’d known and loved my whole life argued with me and told me I was wrong. Was I? At that time I just didn’t know but something inside me wouldn’t let me back away from what I was believing. I listened to their side of things, tried to see what they were seeing. But I couldn’t. My eyes were slowly opening, my heart was changing, I was changing. I was on a journey I had no control over.

And I desperately wanted someone to discuss Scripture with. One day I met a woman online. From the beginning she and I were drawn together. We saw a lot of life the same way. We were able to discuss Scripture. And we were able to discuss Scripture and life together. I grabbed onto that friendship like a lifeline. She was the only person I was free to really be me with.

But I still didn’t understand. I couldn’t see the way things really were. I was still looking for a deeper faith as I called it among the many professing Christians I encountered on a near daily basis. In ‘churches’, in stores, on the street. Where was the proof that these people who claimed to know Christ really knew Him?

Something was missing.

I looked at them, heard them say ‘I’m a Christian’ and wondered what the difference was. If they were Christians…what was I?

I was alone in a world of people I should have been able to find fellowship with. Alone with beliefs no one I knew understood. I held tighter to the one friend I had that did understand and I gave up on finding anyone else.

Because there weren’t any. I eventually got past my resistance to attending ‘church’ and I started going again. I found true enjoyment there and learned to take from the services what I got out of them, cringed when Scripture was misused or when they gave an alter call. I made friends among the members, came to love some of them.

But something was missing.

I didn’t see it at first. Because unlike the Baptist ‘church’ I had gone to before, unlike my grandmothers ‘church’, the members at this ‘church’ seemed to truly care about people. They helped one another, went into the community to help others. They as a whole seemed to live the commandment to love. And that combined with the deeper truths that came up in most sermons were enough to keep me going back. What I didn’t see for a long time was that although they were able to love, despite some of them having much deeper faith than I’d found in most, despite the deeper truths that were feeding my soul in bits and pieces, they weren’t seeing things the way I was either.

Then the Lord brought another true believer into my life, once again through the internet. This one He used to open my eyes to exactly what I was seeing. It was like the lights were turned on in a room that had been pitch black. All of a sudden I knew what I was seeing, I knew why I was different.

I knew what was missing.

And I knew what I’d been given in the two people the Lord had brought to me when I was all alone with my beliefs.

These two people out of thousands in my life understood. They believed. They didn’t just profess to know Christ, they were seeking Him as I was, they felt Him in their being as I do. One of them walked into a ‘church’ after coming to Christ, expecting to find a building full of believers that loved the Lord, that saw things as he did. Only to be greeted with a building full of people that wanted to sit through the sermons then stand and talk about what was happening in their lives, in the world. They didn’t want to discuss Christ or Scripture.

The same thing happens at the ‘church’ I sometimes attend now. They come together happy to see each other, happy to be at ‘church’. They enjoy their time together, most seem to enjoy the sermon. But when it’s over they stand around discussing their pets, their jobs, the latest movies. Even as they love others and profess Christ. And yes, when I’m there…I am one of them. I talk their language, play by their rules.

But now I understand.

But understanding doesn’t stop me from standing in a crowd of hundreds and feeling like I live with a secret. One I don’t want to keep, one I’d like to share with them all. A secret that I could shout from the rooftops and they wouldn’t understand. Because they aren’t able to see.

In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.  2 Corinthians 4:4

Because they are professing ‘Christians’ not true believers. They think they have found salvation by saying a prayer, by attending ‘church’. And when they’ve spent their time recharging their batteries they go back into the world where they may give God glory for the good things in their lives, where they may grab hold of Him when times get tough but they cannot see.

And even though I now know the answer, I’m left to wonder…

Where have all the Christians gone?